So, this is my first day and I'm really trying to change. First, I need to change my mindset. I feel like I fight within my own head constantly. How did each of you manage to get over that inner fight. I find myself saying that I will work out and then I find myself rationalizing a million excuses. Help me get past this and get started.
Heh. I'm about to sound like a broken record to anyone who has been around for a while.
Here's what it took for me: The realization that this is Not Optional. Eating healthy, exercising, taking care of myself is not something that I get to decide if I want to do. It is simply one of the things I do because I'm a responsible adult.
I get out of bed every morning and go to work - even though I'd much rather snuggle down and sleep until noon.
I pay my bills even though I'd rather spend my money on shoes and massages and dinners out.
I do laundry and brush my teeth and clean the toilets and mop the floors - all things I'd much rather just skip over if I could.
All of those things are just part of life and things you do when you're a responsible adult. You don't really have a choice to say "no I won't do this" because it has to be done. You can't make excuses to the mortgage company - they won't listen to "I didn't feel like it". You can't make excuses to your boss or clients - "I didn't feel like coming to work today" just doesn't cut it.
And I exercise and eat healthy because I don't have a choice to say "no I won't do this". It has to be done. "I didn't feel like it" just isn't acceptable.
For me, that helps a lot with the whole "motivation" thing. I don't have to be "motivated". I just have to do it.
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Last edited by PhotoChick; 10-06-2008 at 04:34 PM.
For me, what made the lifestyle change stick was easing into it gradually. This spring, I started cutting wayyy back on diet soda and sugar. Then I started reading labels and making better choices. Then I started cutting calories. Then I started tracking calories. Then I started tracking macronutrient ratios. Then I started exercising. I've found that when I do everything different at the same time, I get overwhelmed and just quit. Little by little has helped me make lasting changes for the rest of my life.
If this is your first day, and you are agonizing about exercise I say DON'T DO IT!!!!
Like with every life changing action we take, we can not conquer the world in one day. Exercise is important, and I think you should become more active, but you can do that in increments. You can begin by parking farther away, taking stairs, walking instead of riding. BABY STEPS!! Some people can jump in head first and do it all...but not most. Learn your "diet" first. Practice eating healthy. Once you have a firm handle on that, move to phase 2 and begin a structured exercise regiment. You can do it...we can help...
For me, it's a commitment I've made. Again - no motivation involved. I made a decision. I am an adult, in charge of my own actions, and make my own choices. Once I TRULY decided, and made that commitment, motivation was no longer the key factor.
You just have to make the decision and follow through. You CAN do it...anyone can.
Like Photochick and Amanda, this is just what I do. This is just how I live. I made some tough big choices, and a bunch of little easy choices. I don't miss anything I gave up enough to want to go back.
You know, I was always looking for some "easy" way to get the weight off. I finally had to accept that, for me, it just wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be hard, but I was STILL going to do it.
All the changes do get easier with time, though there are still tough days. But it is DEFINITELY worth it.
I found that the only reason I've been able to stick to it this time is the fact that I'm not fighting with myself anymore. I don't look at myself as the enemy, or weak, or a failure... I keep in mind that there is a reason for my actions, and now I try to give my body what it needs.
I don't let myself feel guilty for eating something, never say anything is "off limits" or "bad" or anything like that.
Of course, its not easy. But by trying to keep my mind away from those bad feelings, I can allow myself to enjoy the little victories and be happy about the things I am doing for myself (as opposed to worrying about things I'm not doing).
Anyway, I'm not sure if this is as clear as I intended it, but the main idea is... you're not the enemy! Never feel guilty, figure out what you really need that's causing the overeating.
I look at it more as a total overhaul. I don't skip the pasta because I'm "depriving" myself. I can have pasta any time I'd like. In fact, I decided that I wanted some last night, and, even though I'm low carb, I made the conscious decision to go to dinner and have a nice bowl of fettuccine alfredo.
The trick is, I also need to realize when I really want one of these things. Am I looking for "junk" food because it's the easiest to get? Usually, I find it's the path of least resistance mentality that gets me hunkered down with a bag of chips and salsa. Rather than telling myself certain things are "off limits", I have "really want it" foods.
As dated as it is, there's a book from the 90s called "The Tightwad Gazette". The author says that most of the tightwad principles can be applied to weight loss, and one such principle is the "happiness return". Think about what you are about to eat, and decide how much true enjoyment you will get from it, right now and in the future, on a scale of 1 to 10. When I'm presented with a "really want it" food, I quickly calculate my "happiness return". The pasta last night...that was a pretty good investment. But the cookies at my mom's house, those had a low "happiness return" {about a 2} so I was able to say no thanks.
I think of it as one choice at a time. Some of them relate to weight loss, some to health. I don't want to overwhelm myself with all the things I think I should do. I just think of it as one choice at a time and habits that are slowly formed. The more that becomes habit, the more I work on changing. Don't feel like you have to change your entire life in a day. I don't know you are your habits. Maybe you already eat healthy and now you need to work on portions, self control and exercise. Maybe your've been living on pop (soda) and potato chips. Either way, don't try to change it all today..or this week. Take your time and really form good habits that stick with you for the rest of your life. If you need help, you have everyone here at this board to guide you.
What really did it for me was realizing that I just wasn't making myself happy anymore by not eating and not exercising. I've cooled off a little bit on my plan by now and I'm mostly just trying to lose weight slowly, but still it is a one-chunk lifestyle overhaul kind of thing. I'm not crazy health-food-nutty about it, but I do like to slow down and note that I just feel a lot better when I eat less and exercise more. If I eat too much, I get sluggish. If I don't exercise enough, I get more stressed out. It's not about giving up spur of the moment activities- my eating schedule is still bizarre and impulsive, as is my exercise schedule (biking at 4 am last week because I felt like it). I just don't eat as much. If I start out a day without the focus on food, I've found I can pretty much carry on that way. If I start out and have a big breakfast even though I'm not really hungry, that impacts things too. If I'm not eating too much I can really enjoy staying up late listening to music and doing homework- if I eat too much I'm tired from all that digesting that neets to be done and it's a nightmare.
It probably depends mostly on who you are. I'm a very impulsive person, so I would feel smothered in any sort of strict, consistent plan that required me to eat particular kinds of foods in particular amounts at particular times. Some people like more structure. But basically, get involved in whatever plan seems right to you, because you'll want something you can enjoy for its own sake, not just for its benefits.
Gosh, so many good and consistent points. Thank you all for your well thought out responses. I think I'll print this whole log and look back at it from time to time. I did do Weight Watchers for a long time and had success but no "diet" works for me. I need to make all my own rules and I like the thought of taking it one decision at a time. Today I did really well making very clear good decisions.
I did do Weight Watchers for a long time and had success but no "diet" works for me. I need to make all my own rules and I like the thought of taking it one decision at a time. Today I did really well making very clear good decisions.
I agree with this completely - from top to bottom, up and down - my plan was entirely my own. How could I follow any other plan except one I created? It has to work for ME for the rest of my LIFE. For me, it had to be unique and personal.
How to overcome my own worst enemy (me)
