A guy last night called me fat

Work with me here... Unless you are a brain in a jar, you just cannot be "fat" at your weight and height. I'm sorry, but that man obviously had his own agenda. Perhaps he feels that he lacking in some department that he would probably not wish to discuss..... first and foremost manners!

And look at it this way - How many times when someone says we look terrific, do we believe it???

Now go to the nearest mirror and repeat after me "I am a fabulous babe."

Dianne, I wish I could give you a hug. Please try not to feel bad about what some completely worthless douche said. His words ARE NOT a reflection on you, your self-worth or how hot and awesome you are. Rather, they are a reflection of the fact that this guy is a shallow crappy person and that we live in a misogynistic culture that views women's bodies as public property to be judged, commented on and rated whenever we go out in public. 5'5 and under 130 lbs?? You ARE NOT FAT! And for what it's worth, you are not alone, I have been called fat by men at all my various weights. I had a guy call me fat when I weighed only 105 lbs (this of course was his response after I declined to give him my number)!! I have also been called fat at all my various other weights - 110 lbs, 120, 130 and up to my biggest in the 150s. The fact that I got called fat by guys at my lower weights just as much as I did at my higher weights indicates to me that such an insult is about more than just weight, they think it's the most cutting insult they can say to a woman.

I believe that "fat" is used so often by men as an insult or way to make us feel crappy about ourselves because for them to call us fat implies that they don't find us sexually attractive and ohmigod what can possible be worse for a woman if every man out there doesn't want her as a sexual object?? What will we do with ourselves?? What will our purpose be??

Lol... ok, a bit hyperbolic, but my point is that when a guy calls you "fat", there are other issues at play than just weight, issues of power, culture and gender.

If your figures are accurate there is no way that you could be fat. He probably likes girls to look like some of the Hollywood starlets with their stick like figures. They look like they would blow away in a high wind.

That is outrageous. You can't be fat at your height and weight, and even if you could, what business is it of his? I find it unfair that men can get our weak spot by calling us fat, but we can't retalliate with the obvious mini penis comments unless we've seen it. Grrr. I bet he has a really small one though, and can't afford the sports car so resorts to telling women they are fat to make himself feel better. Wanker!

Umm and being the size you are and the height you are you think your actually fat? I don't know which is more sad, the fact that some moron clearly just wanted to hit your insecure spot and bring you down by calling you fat, or the fact you're letting some insecure moron get the best of you by calling you fat and you possibly believing it.

I'm the same height as you and I'm 153 pounds and I'm sure as **** am not fat or even look fat despite still being "over weight" so I can't imagine that you are even remotely fat. It's like my friend who is like 120 pounds and 5:7 some guy called her fat and she got depressed over it. It's kind of sad really. Don't let douchebags like that bring you down or even show them it bothers you because the second you do is the second they know what your weakness is.

OH my goodness ladies. Not just saying this, all of your posts really made me feel so much better. I really feel "support" from you all and I can NOT thank you for caring. I guess it's easier to believe the bad. I try not to let people like that bring me down but when youve heard it more than a few times in your life, it starts to make you think otherwise.

Flippy - hah thanks for the advice on motivational mirror speaking. I do need to repeat positive phrases about myself more often!

Alicia - I hate saying this, but reading your post about someone calling you fat at 105 makes me feel a lot better. Because there is no way you could be "fat" at that weight. So maybe men really just do say that becuase they know its in insecurity?

Claire - Acutally, you are right; he was little. Shorter than me I think!

Bargoo - I dont know what he considers skinny or fat but it was the way he said it, like he really believed it!

Mizt - I tried not to show it got me down. I really played it off and I am not a confrontational person; but of course it got to me.

The thing about it that was so convincing was that he was walking beside me and then when he got behind me he was like "oh gosh. And shes fat. Shes got a muffin top". LIke he really seemed "surprised". Like a real obvservation. You know what I mean?

He was just a drunk loser and Im sure he got mad that none of us were giving him attention when he was trying to get it but the people he was with were really nice and apologized.

Ugh it was just a bad night. Oh well. New day and I have a lot to be grateful for - and 3fc is one of them

Dianne,I was thinking that if he thinks a girl who weighs 90 pounds is attractive he would think anyone above that is fat, Anyway you look at it he is a jerk.

Yep! There are plenty of them around! I forgot about this but once, when I was about 17 and really skinny, I was running and a builder told me to "run faster, belly has already got you" (a oh so witty pun on the old 'belly's gonna get ya' Reebok adverts. I told him he should try it because his boobs were bigger than mine, then ran rather quickly from then on. I did feel depressed about it for weeks though. Stupid men and their unrealistic expectations!

Ugh... loser men will say these types of things if they can't get you. I had one guy call me a "coldhearted woman" because he tried so hard but I didn't give him any attention. It's hard to brush off nasty comments no matter if they have anything to do with the truth or not

I know I'm late to the party on this one, but Dianne, sweetie, there is NO WAY you're fat at your stats. Zero. The fact that you characterized the dude saying this as a "drunk loser" makes me think he was actually not in his right mind/eyes when he saw you. Since I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was seeing double!

Men (or should I say, "boys," since a mature grown man should know not to say such things aloud) calling women fat is kind of my hot-button issue. An ex-friend of mine once called ME fat (at the time, I was probably like 125, tops), called my CAT fat (hello, it's a CAT! WTH?!), and divorced his wife because she gained weight. I could go on, but let's just say he's no longer in my life, mostly because of those reasons.

He is just a creep. Plain and simple.

Thank you everyone. I appreciate it.

Kat - I laughed out loud to your "seeing double" comment.

I bet he's the kind of guy who likes insecure girls b/c they are easy to manipulate. He was just hoping you had low self-esteem so you'd date a loser like him. The insult was just a test to see if you're the kid of girl he likes, the self-loathing, impressionable type.

I am sorry that happened to you. The comments men make about our bodies can really mess with our heads.

Your post triggered an unpleasant memory. When I was 20 I had a job in a pizza parlor. I worked in the back making pizzas, washing dishes and wiping greasy pizza pans. It was a fairly grubby job but the owners, who were very old-fashioned wouldn't let me wear jeans on the job even though none of the customers ever saw me. I ruined a lot of good pants there.

Anyway at that time I weighed about 105 pounds, five pounds lower than my current goal weight. I was not fat by any means.

One Spring day one of the owners was talking about how the place was going to get really hot in a few months and that we were all going to start sweating and to make sure to drink a lot of water. Then he turned to me and said, "You'll be able to sweat off your extra weight. Bet you're looking forward to that."

That comment floored me. I couldn't think of anything to say. I went back to work feeling absolutely enormous. Shortly thereafter I quit the job and embarked on an intense diet and exercise regime ( 500 calories a day and six hours of exercise). I dropped to 97 pounds my lowest weight ever and messed up my metabolism so badly that it took me literally years to recover.