To the point of actually wanting to do something bad, like try and purge, or start taking some stupid medicine for "fast weight loss" or overexercising til exhaustion or even drastically cutting calories. I've never felt like this before, and I don't like it. I'm just so frustrated, and I feel like no matter how far I've come, I'll never be "good enough." I'm still the fat girl. Just slightly less fat than I used to be.

I woke up today in a good mood, ate well, exercised- twice even; I even got in 7 glasses of water! Much better than my usual 4, and now I'm just auto-piloting throughout the evening trying not to look like anything's the matter.

I don't even want to binge, to be honest. Why do I want to purge, though? I know it won't make me thinner faster. Maybe I'm just trying to punish myself? That's all I can say, because I'm afraid if I post anymore, someone might recognize me and the teasing/other would just be x10 worse.


/vent

Are you having a rough anxiety day? Maybe some hormone fluctuations are happening making things rough? I am sorry you're having a rough day.

Hi there- I totally understand. I've been feeling low myself this week. But I can tell by looking at your stats- you are doing GREAT! Look how far you've come! You've lost 23 lbs, you clearly have a working system. Quick fixes NEVER last and often result in harm to one's health and rebounding weight. So don't give in to that- slow and steady is definitely the winner when it comes to weight loss.

@4star I don't think it's anxiety. I don't know what it is. Just this overwhelming sense of...I don't even have the word to describe it. I just feel empty, sad, lonely. I'm tired of being lonely and feeling ugly. I'm fighting the urge to run up to the store for some milk because I want a box of candy, too, and I know I'll get it. Weird, I wasn't wanting anything a few minutes ago. I don't really crave anything besides chocolate. I think I'm just ending my period, maybe it's that.

@EagleRiverDee thanks, that's sweet. It's a bad feeling, but I can say the same for you! 31lb, that's impressive and I'm really happy for you! And yeah, I know they don't actually work- which is why I don't know why I'm even considering them.

I'm so sorry you are having a bad day, I wish I could do more then offer hugs. Just know we are here for you if / when needed. And CONGRATS on the amazing weight you have lost so far!!!!

I walk around in my "fat" pants when I am feeling low. It's a wonderful reminder as to how far I've come. But I also understand that no matter what you do, you're just going to feel low, sad and lonely. You just need to end this disaster of a day by relaxing - take a hot shower or bath - and pamper yourself. You will feel better in the morning! The loneliness feeling will pass, I promise. We are here for you too, ok?

Hey yhahmd. Hugs to you. I think we all feel very low at times and while I can't speak to depression, I can certainly speak to purging. For me, it started out of sheer desperation to lose weight when I was nineteen, and lasted well over ten years. It became about control, and secrecy and other issues not even related to weight loss. It was a nightmare! I truly hope that this won't be an option you will consider. I have ulcer issues and heart palpitations all the time. I truly don't meant to be scaremongering or preachy but I don't wish what I experienced on anyone.
Many hugs to you,
Tam

Even if I considered it, I'd never do it. You know how long it took me to finally get off my butt and exercise and eat right? probably about 8-9 years. I'll never start purging or anything. It's not healthy at all and it does screw up your insides, I know. I just get so annoyed and frustrated.

The sun is out today, though, and I feel a bit better...thank you everyone you're all great. <3

As for fat pants...hm...I think I threw all mine out already lol.

Do you have any old pics of you before your weight loss journey? You can compare pics side by side and see the difference. Maybe that will help you feel bettter.

I'm glad you're having a better day today!

Glad you're feeling better.