I'm going to be in a wedding in a month and a half, and I'm feeling a little better since I'm down almost 50 pounds, but I'm still TERRIFIED of being in this wedding because I'm twice the size of all the other bridesmaids. The dresses are sleeveless, and my arms are a nightmare.

I'm also going to get my nails done and wear shapewear (Spanx and a corset-esqu shaper) underneath.

I'm also planning to get a tan. I have never tanned before, and I know it's not safe to do with any frequency, but I am *bright* white, and I cannot be this color at the wedding because A) It accentuates the fat and B) the other bridesmaids are SO dark. There's no chance of getting an even tan with self tanner all over my back and everything, so I think a booth is what I'm going to have to do just this once.

Any other suggestions for making the best of having to be in a dress in public at this weight?!

Thanks in advance for the help

Have you considered getting a spray-on tan from a professional? You'll get an even result, and you'll likely be able to get a darker color than you would from a visit or two to a tanning booth. Also, if you're very pale, it'll eliminate the risk that your first tanning salon visit will result in a burn.

It was always a big boost to me to get my hair and makeup professionally done. People do tricks with makeup that I'd never be able to replicate on my own. If the bride is having someone come in, they may be able to help the bridesmaids for a fee.

Otherwise, remember that the bride chose you to stand up for her, which reflects a relationship based on far more than your size. Get yourself all prettied up, go out, and then put your focus on her, instead of you in comparison to the other bridesmaids. At a wedding, even if you're standing up in front of the crowd, the eyes of that crowd will mostly be on her.

Thanks, Manda. I'm trying to focus on the fact that the eyes will all be on her, I'm just so self-conscious it's tough to relax about it.

I may look into a spray tan after all. Until your post I didn't think about having someone apply it professionally. I tried a spray booth once and it was simply horrific (orange and streaky), but I'm sure having someone actually spray it would be a totally different result.

I hate tanning, but since I'm naturally darker that is to be expected, I guess. I would get a makeover at a Sephora or MAC store to buy new makeup, or get my hair done at a salon! If all of that is part of the wedding package, I'd go for a spa day and make sure my skin is absolutely glowing for the wedding.

For your arms, do you lift? A month and a half is plenty of time to get some muscles built up in your arms and some confidence built up along the way.

I had a wedding I was incredibly nervous about, and I wasn't even in it!! So I completely understand! I put all my strength and energy into the diet and exercise, making sure I was 100% on plan leading up to the day. That alone gave me strength and confidence. I especially gave my all to exercise and just felt really good about it. My gym had a challenge going on a the same time, so the timing was really good. We earned points for every 15 minutes of cardio we did.

You're on the right track! Focus on the 50 you've already lost. And let's see just how much you can lose between now and this wedding.

oh gosh, if you were in Houston I have the perfect make up artist to recommend. For our first wedding anniversary, I had hired her to do my make up for a photoshoot. She spent time talking with the photographer about the lighting and then she caked on an ungodly amount of make up on my face, complete with fake eyelashes. I looked at the mirror and thought I looked like a freak... But I looked absolutely gorgeous in the pictures.

Mini, great idea about trying it out in advance. I'll be moving next week, but the wedding is on the 27th of May, so if I go soon after I move, I'll still have time to go back to the same person. And thanks for the tips about preparation — I probably wouldn't have checked what to do until a day or two before, and it sounds like I should start a little earlier.

Lackadaisy, yes! I will do that. I didn't even think of it, but that's what I did for prom — went the weekend before and got a makeover then bought the makeup so I could use it myself the day of.

Eliana, I did buy a couple of 5-pound weights, but I've been thinking that since my arms are so fat that working them out wouldn't do anything until all the fat's gone. Is that not true? I'd love to be able to improve them a bit in the next 9 weeks.

Nina, I won't be in Houston, unfortunately, but I'll be in Portland, OR, until the day before the wedding, and the wedding is in New York City, so hopefully I'll be able to find a great place. I'm going to start researching and reading reviews now. The pictures are the part I'm most worried about since they're going to be all over Facebook and looked at for the rest of time! I know everyone will be looking at my cousin (the bride), but people who know me will still notice me in the pictures, and I want to do everything I can not to be an ugly bridesmaid even though I'm going to be a fat one

Make sure if you get your make up done professionally (which is what I recommend, as well) have them add in false lashes. They have individual lashes if you don't like the idea of one giant lash laying on top of your own. I have had this done and I have naturally long lashes and it still makes a HUGE difference. Brings lots of the attention up toward your eyes and away from the trouble spots. Also, putting something in your hair helps, too, as long as its okay with the bride. Like a sparkly hair pin or barrette or something. You are going to look beautiful and congratulations on your weight loss so far!

Thanks for the congrats and encouragement I think I will get the lashes. My eyes are definitely my best feature, so hopefully people will look right past my fat neck

And yikes...I said nine weeks...it's SIX weeks! Time is flying so fast.

Yes, and no. You can't spot reduce, but it sounds like you know that. Yes, the fat has to come off for the muscles to really pop. But I have noticed all along the way that things are just firmer from having lifted. I hated my arms when I first started and I remember distinctly one month in lifting showing off my guns to my best friend. She didn't care a lick! Whether the changes was truly noticeable or not really didn't matter. It gave me so much confidence. And truly, I think it firmed things up quite a lot.

I second the fake lashes.. Those things looks amazing on pictures. I suggest you google and see if you can find make up artists who specialize in glamor shots because they tend to know how to apply make up the creates shadows to hide double chins, fat cheeks, etc

Could not have said anything better, really agree with the spray tan - Im pasty white and have burned badly from less than a minute in a tanning bed (wont ever do that again)
The hair and makeup always makes you feel wonderful having it down profesionally

And you were chosen by the bride cause she knows what a wonderful, beautiful, incredible person you are and she loves you

I'm with Eliana on the lifting. How about the 30 day shred for a month? It will make you FEEL stronger and leaner and give you some serious self confidence.

My other piece of advice is be comfortable (if possible). If the bride hasn't dictated shoes, choose some that you feel sexy in, but VERY comfortable. Also, bring a cute wrap or something for the reception if you'll feel more comfortable in that.

Good ideas all around — I'll be revisiting this thread for reminders before the wedding! to all of you for the suggestions and encouragement!

so, how did it go?