Hi all,

This past week has been a living nightmare. I'm getting the silent treatment from my number one fan (yes, my darling man) who is currently overseas - deployed. I don't know if I have or haven't done or said something. I don't know what is going on with him at the moment. I know that he must be under enormous pressure but it is really wreaking havoc with my sense of equilibrium. That sounds so selfish and unfair – I hate it when I think in such a way. It’s not his fault and he’s doing the best he can and I fully support him in what he has to do. It’s just so hard not having his input into my day.

To that end, while I've been walking when I can (it's been raining off and on for the past week as well), I've also been reaching for the worst things - bread, fruitcake and yes those dreaded Tim Tams. I've not said to myself "just one!” no it's been “that one was good, I'll have another and another” etc etc etc, without any sense of control. I don't even want to know how many calories I've had with my binge outs this week. Needless to say, I've gained nearly a kilogram, for which I'm kicking myself.

Why is that when you are at an all time low, you always reach for the most disastrous comfort foods? I can't even eat the stuff I've been packing away without consequences - bread makes me wheeze and chocolate gives me the worst headaches. It just doesn't make any sense.

Please someone either: shout at me, shake me or hug me. Anything, to get me back on course. Please explain my crazy self-destruct program I’m following. I'm really doing badly here and I don’t understand it.



That pretty well sums up the way I feel at the moment.

As always, thanks for your support and for listening.

I find that in times of stress we all resort to comfort food. Its hard but you have to change that set of mind maybe eat a piece of fruit or a string cheese. I hope things get better for you.

Lynn

You answered it right there, because it gives temporary comfort. Its fleeting and has major consequences but it does provide some relief. My guess would be it's been harder because you're stressed about what's going on with your guy. Not only is he over seas which right there is stressful, you guys aren't talking right now and I imagine that doesn't help too much. So I'm not going to shout at you, and I'm not going to shake you. I'm just going to say I understand.
If you know you're having will power issues, sometimes it's just better to pitch all the food in the house that you don't want to consume. Just bin it. If it's out of reach and out of sight you won't need to go the extra mile to avoid temptation. If the food wasn't there, would you go out just to buy that one thing to have right that second? Most people would say no, they just snack on what they have on hand.
If you need some motivation, you could treat this time apart from your man as a kind of challenge to see how far you can get back on track by the time he comes back. Use this time to take care of yourself first and foremost. You can do this. Food isn't the answer when you're stressed and upset for the most part.
I hate to say this because I'm a fairly lazy person but I always feel tremendously better after I exercise. You know, you release endorphins and all that plus the added bonus of knowing you did good today for taking care of your health. I live in a cold climate so walking outside isn't always an answer. Couple that with massive paranoia about getting mugged or something leads me to do my workouts at home. The Walk Away the Pounds series isn't bad. I picked up a 4 pack+ stretchy band for $10 at a local store. I also have 4 Yoga Booty Ballet dvds to add some variety. I know there's some workout vids that you can download for a small fee but I forget the site, perhaps google could help there. There's even some on Youtube! I mention this because personally I'd rather stay dry and in climate control than out in rain and pollen and bitter cold just to get my workout done. You can still get the exercise in so don't let that rain stop you!
Cheer up, I'm sure you and your guy will work out whatever is going on. In the meantime, just relax. Stress is not going to help with the weight loss or with your man and I promise it will all work itself out if you give it time. The first few months of a weight loss journey are hard. You are making tremendous life changes and it takes some getting used to. The fact that you're here and wanting to get back on track is a great start. Don't give up.
-J

Hi all,

Thank you ladies for your support. I now understand the huge silence. I've just received a Dear Meggie Girl email from sunny Afghanistan. I'm on the verge of tears and am not thinking very clearly. I didn't really expect that to happen. All I can say is that while he is experiencing such pressures there, he can't deal with anything else. I assume that that is the end of it. Such is life. I will survive!

I came here rather than reach for the Tim Tams. That's progress.

Thank you once again.

I'm so sorry Meggie. Break-ups are never easy, and this one seems even more complex with him being deployed. I do want to say, good for you for continuing to post instead of eating. Hang in there, we're here for you.

This pretty much sums up everything I was going to say. I'm truly sorry. It's just a lousy thing to happen and with him deployed you can't even really sit down and try to get closure. I will say its his loss though. You seem like an awesome person.

Oh Girl. What a tough thing to go through. Keep your head up.