I thought I moved past this but I guess I didn't

  • I’m not eating much again. I was doing so well with eating enough calories, working out and staying on plan. When I first started my weight loss journey on January 3rd I did this for 2 weeks and I eventually realized how horrible it was not to eat enough and how terrible I felt. I joined a gym, upped my calories and felt INCREDIBLE! But this past week (especially the weekend) my routine has been compromised and I was out of whack. I only went to the gym Wednesday and Friday. I ate a salad on Friday night and went to bed. On Saturday I had coffee for breakfast and ate another salad around 3. Then around 5 I ate a bag of the 100 calorie popcorn. I was punishing myself for not going to the gym that day. Then a guy I used to date (but stayed in regular contact with since I ended things) came over Saturday night. We drank coffee (which is filling to me), watched movies and we both fell asleep on the couch. Sunday morning came, more coffee, more movie watching and zippo motivation to go to the gym. He kept saying he should go so I could go to the gym but I lied and said that I needed a “rest day”; even though I had plenty in the previous days. He knows I am dieting so he went off and got something to eat. He came back and I told him I had a bowl of cereal. Another lie. I even went so far as to put a bowl and spoon in my sink and fill it up with water to make it seem as if I ate. I used to binge and lie. Now I am not eating and lying. I mean, seriously?!? I did manage to eat a bowl of wonton soup last night and two small pieces of his sweet and sour pork.

    I’m sitting here now and it’s lunch time. I know I am hungry but I crave nothing. The thought of putting something, anything, in my mouth is making my stomach turn. I am going to grab a piece of fruit and hopefully that will help soothe my tummy so I can eat something real.

    I am putting too much pressure on myself to make it to my “happy goal” by the end of May. As long as I lose 1.2 - 1.5 pounds a week, I’ll be golden. And I KNOW I can do this by eating enough calories and working out.

    Gah! What's my <<bleeping>> problem???????
  • I'm sorry you are going through this, Shan. What about eating food makes your stomach turn? Why are you punishing yourself? If you know that you can lose weight by eating calories and working out, then what is going on inside? It sounds like this is very emotionally tied...
  • I agree with Emme. Im am NOT an expert in this, but I do think you need to try to eat something! Sometimes when im not feeling too hungry i'll nibble on fruit or something light just because i know I need to eat. Also, maybe you can try protein shakes.
  • The only way I can rationalize this is that I gots me some control issues! I'm a bit OCD. I'm not over the top where I wash my hands every 10 minutes or I check the door 5 times before I know it's locked. But I do have idiosyncrasies such as keeping things tidy and orderly (house, car, desk..) and needing to have a daily routine. I can't concentrate on much if something is dirty or amiss in my environment. I always thought I did that because other parts of my life such as overeating were out of control. Then when I decided to take "control" over my overeating I went overboard and controlled what I didn't eat. Which was practically everything. I gave that up when it wasn't making me feel so great. So that's when I upped my calories and joined a gym. With my routine disrupted this past week (work related) that impacted my workout routine. That threw me into a tizzy and I started eating less and less.

    I went downstairs to the cafeteria and got a bottled water, an apple and a side of steamed broccoli. Now all I gotta do is eat it!
  • Can you look at it as FUEL for your body rather than anything "extra" that you think you don't really need? Maybe turn the OCD issues toward learning all you can about how our bodies turn food into the fuel that we need, not just to do various exercises, but to THINK, to perform logic, to have a clear mind and healthy organs and vibrant skin, etc. Incorporate small amounts of healthy, delicious food - no one really "craves" broccoli - ("I know I am hungry but I crave nothing" ... ) maybe look to different food choices when you're in this mode and seek the assistance of a therapist who can guide you to making better choices on providing your body the sustenance, nutrients and vitamins you need. A multivitamin doesn't do ALL that - it's a supplement - meant to add to the healthy food you already eat.

    Our bodies don't react to one meal, one missed workout - it's all a summation of things over time. GOOD LUCK with this.
  • i understand how you feel..these past few days ive barely eaten anything and havent had a desire or an appetite to eat..in fanatic im not all too sure as to why im not hungry..but im guessing my body is hungry but not registering it as hunger pangs.