I really need some help here. Most of this will be a rant, but bear with me.

I want this. Weight loss? Health, indurance, more mobility, sweet clothes to wear, to run, jump, etc. I want it bad. I have never been a normal size and this is,somehow my first weight loss adventure and I started it in August. I restricted my calories (And carbs, sodium, etc) to about 1400 calories and worked out about 3 times a week. I was doing well until about December or so, when I started falling off track. Well, I'm still off track. And it's a combination of some days being terrible with nutrition with others spot on, stress and emotional eating (going through hard times as I cant seem to wrangle any commissions) and living with 4 people means I don't have enough room for food that isn't processed or in boxes though I'd like to avoid the crap at all costs.

This has left me trying to find many solutions: promising to work out every day and finding I do not have the energy, another endless cycle of doing well and then finding myself tripped up by financial woes or other drama which leads me to a "F*ck it, I'm gonna eat what I want" attitude some nights when I really fall into a morose mindset. With nothing to do I find myself laying on my bed and netsurfing. Sometimes, ironically...watching things about weight loss.

I know its bad when I watch things on eating disorders and consider co-opting some of their deplorable habits to help my fat loss. I'm really starting to feel crazy and trapped. 0: I do not have insurance to find a way to work medically with my weight or emotional eating before it's suggested.

A scale that says 295 one day and then 286 the next (and this is confirmed between the -two- scales I own) really is not helping. I WANT OUT OF THE 280's. I've tried starting the "Spark streak" several times lately to only achieve a day and then make a mistake, in many cases which cannot be avoided. Not with so little room and selection for food!

Is anyone else in a similar situation? How did you get out of it? Any suggestions at all? I think most of all I want some sort of support with a friend or accountability, yet I cannot seem to get that. My roomates are still of the "Eat whatever, work out a little...maybe lose weight" mindset and are not only irritated with how much room my "healthy crap" takes up, but getting them to work out is like pulling teeth. Just saying doing it on my own aint helping.

just wanted to give you a hug. i know how hard it is, being stuck in a plateau, self sabotage cycle. listening to IOWL inside out weightloss, it's a free pod cast no ipod required. it helped me work on intuitive eating, and envisioning what my goals were. we need forward motivation. her voice is very calming. soothing. i'm sure there's some great chickies that can relate, and help you be accountable. chin up! you can do this!

Oooh, where can I find this podcast? And ! Thank you...

Ok, calm down and take it one thing at a time.

You sound like it's taking you a while to bounce back after holiday/new year time. It can throw one for a loop. Don't stress out about it.

Make a fitness plan, and stick with it. Earn a PALA for instance. That's a 6-8 week thing. I was having a hard time til I just decided "Screw it! I'll go for a PALA, any which way I can make it! I'll worry about a better workout plan later, right now it's just the plan of "do anything! Earn that PALA!"

When you are ready to get a little more structured, how about Kim Lyon? I just pulled this back out. I like that she's cheerful, the workouts are short, and I burn a reliable 250ish cal in 30 min. So even at my doggone tiredest... I can think "Oh, c'mon. Kim's easy and goes by fast!" so I manage it.

Next, do you have room for a dorm fridge? Then that could help with some of your food storage problems in the shared fridge. The other thing is to think about some of the things you can get canned or dry that can just stay out ok.

Ditch the scales if they make you crazy. Go with a tape measure. Frankly, at higher weights, those scale things get bananas. So better for your mental health to track in inches for now.

I normally hang in the PCOS section and cruise the 100+ and 30's groups here but I also try to answer new posts that catch my eye... that's my accountability. To participate here daily somewhere, and give encouragement to others.

Much like the strategy of "Earn a PALA! Do anything to get it but GET IT!" So for me the "Be accountable online at 3 fat chicks -- any board, just post something daily to somebody!" works.

GL!
A.

I haven't been around as long as most, so ah...what is a PALA if I might ask?