Another Valentine's Day single. Damn, sometimes I hate being single. I've been single for ummm...gotta think...it's been thaaaaatttt loooonnnnggg...I'll say 9 or 10 yrs. I just turned 33. That sucks!!!! That means I've never really had a real adult romantic relationship. I think the "boyfriend" I had wasn't really a boyfriend, so I venture to say I've never had a "real" relationship. I had my son at a young age, 15 to be exact. He'll be 18 in June. I devoted my time to raising him, going to school, and working hard. Sometimes I just want someone to pick up the pieces and give me some TLC. This time of the year brings it home for you.

Hi, Caring,

I'm so sorry, and I know just how you feel. This time of year leaves me really blue nowadays. I lost my true sweetheart husband a little over 3 years ago... he died very unexpectedly.

Last year, someone was interested in me and we developed a relationship. He was out of town for V. Day and sent lovely flowers, but we just broke up about a month ago. He didn't make me aware of the issues in the relationship (not that they were solvable), so I wasn't prepared for the breakup. I miss him.

Valentine's Day is now just a reminder of how alone I am and how much I've lost. I value my own company (good thing!) and have lots of friends, but it's not the same as having someone who truly loves you. Looking forward to Tuesday. Be good to yourself!

Hugs, Rae

I'm sorry for your losses. It just something about this time of the year that makes me a little more lonely. I enjoy my own company, maybe a little too much. So much, that I need to get out more. It seems a little hard for me to develop relationships also, I'm just saying friendships in general, because I spend so much time alone.

Though my work schedule and going to Grad school part time has something to do with it also. It's like when i'm not in class or at work, I don't want to socialize. But then times like this make me wish I had some close local relationships to turn to.

Valentine's day is really depressing. I have never had a real relationship either. Never gotten a real valentine's day gift or card from anyone. I'm a socially awkward person in general so the few times it seemed like I was really hitting it off with someone it ended before it even got started. I love kids and I want to have a family someday but I can't even manage to get a date. I'm still relatively young (23) so I know I still have time to turn things around but on some level I always feel like a complete failure on Valentine's Day. To everyone else it seems like it doesn't bother me but when it rolls around each year I can't help feeling alone and a little panicy.

I've not had a real Valentine's Day celebration in... eight years, I think. It's not like I wasn't in a relationship in those eight years; the weird thing is that I was/am. The first three years were with a bozo who loved his work more than he loved me. The last five are with someone who works in another country and who thinks V-Day is just another day. I actually feel blue whenever V-Day approaches even though no one could tell with the way I act during this time of year. I try to get over it by considering myself as my own Valentine, but sometimes it just doesn't cut it.

I talked to my sis about it, and she's married. She said they don't even celebrate Valentines. I know when they were dating and newly married it seemed to be a big occassion for them. But she told me even if you're with someone doesn't mean that Valentine's will be great.

Although, when I get with "the one" for me, I want to make it a nice occassion everytime it comes around. Not just that day, but everyday. I hope to find someone to shower them with my love. I'm hopeful.

I dont celebrate V Day as its just another commercial scam. You can tell the one you love that you love them any time, why pay over the odds for a tacky card and chocs on feb 14th.

Caring4myself - I think is wonderful you committed your life to bringing up your son I have 2 girls and children bring you much more happiness then any man can - Believe me

We are in the age of independent women and I think that should be celebrated rather the all hale to our men. My husband will Diffidently NOT be getting anything thing from me tomorrow!

Sorry to sound cold but my situation is a little different to most, I have the high flying job and husband stayed at home and looked after the kids but its a sore subject as both kids are in full time school and he still hasnt gone back to work and I feel like i would be better of on my own.

Anyway chicks dont let tomorrow get you down, think of all the good things you have instead and good luck on the weightloss

Hugs for those that need them xxx

You are definitely right. Showing someone love is more than buying them chocolates and flowers one day out of the year. Thanks for bringing me back to reality. Sometimes, with all the hoopla, I forget why I'm single in the first place....because I think highly of myself and am not in for putting up with bull.

Marie is definitely right about love being a completely different ball game than over-the-top cutesy cards and chocolates on Valentine's Day. And, honestly, even if you do long for flowers and candle-lit dinners from a real or imagined lover, such things are so much more romantic when it's not Valentine's Day. I've spent a few February 14ths in relationships, and those Valentine's Days were always way more stressful than the ones I've spent single. It seems in most cases that Valentine's Day creates lots of conflicting - and often unexpressed - expectations within couples, and then nobody's quite sure of what to do and everybody ends up feeling uneasy or disappointed. And if you do get the whole chocolates-card-flowers-romantic-dinner enchilada, then it seems to mean less on Valentine's Day because it's just a societal expectation, not something that your date actually wanted to do to make you happy.

Maybe I just overanalyze the holiday too much. But, really, Valentine's Day is sooooo much less stressful when I'm single. Enjoy the straight-forwardness of being single tomorrow!

My hubby of over 25 years is not the most romantic, spur of the moments flowers for no reason but he loves me means more to me.

I say take the Day to go on a "date" with your son, show him how to treat his future girl on Valentine's Day.

Iv always believed that you make your own happiness in life and having respect for yourself. you sound like you got it worked out honey

Im fussy about flowers and as I am on a diet I dont want choc's so I am not bothered with tomorrow and with the money I would of spent on valantines pressies I will take my kids out next weekend, they are the ones I truly love.

Stay stong and independent girls xx

At least businesses are open and you can find things to do. Being alone on Thanksgiving is worse. EVERYTHING is closed.

Don't ever think that the years are going by and you might never have a meaningful relationship.
I had a friend who was 90 years old. She was cute and a lot of fun.


She watched her weight, exercized, bleached her hair to cover the gray, and wore the latest styles.

The guys were all after her for a date. And I mean much younger guys in their 80's!
You have years to find your own true love!

That's great. I've been single since like age 22/23. Though it's great being independent and all. LOL. I hope I find someone before i'm 90. Though I hope to live at least that long. I had my son young, he's going to be 18 soon. I want to have the opportunity to have a real relationship, and would like to experience marriage, pregnancy and childbirth being in a truly loving and committed relationship. I hope that's not too much to ask. Time is ticking. I hope I can experience that.

Caring4myself: First off - big respect for putting your son first while raising him! Second - I feel the same way about independance. I love my alone time, I think I'm pretty damn good company so it doesn't bother me one bit. But I am feeling the consequence of that. I'm 28 and single, and have mixed feelings about that. I also feel I have a difficult time establishing relationships. The more I get to know myself the easier it is to see that I make it incredibly difficult for anyone (esp. men) to really get to know me! Ugh. I just don't inately know how to let someone in. On the other hand, I real do not know that many happily married couples so I might not be missing out on much eh?

I don't feel any connection to the red boxes of chocolates and teddy bears kind of valentines day. Its stupid and it is a bit of a trap. Christmas was just 7 weeks ago - do I really need to buy ANOTHER present?

Nienna is right on!
I think I will bring flowers to my best friend though, she is having a really tough time these days and her husband is a bit of a d**k.