Hi, I couldn't find anything about this, If i am wrong please correct me XD. I was jsut wondering if anyoen else had this fear or somehting similar: I am afraid that I will not be able to lose weight, at all. Like even if I exersice and eat right. BEcuase I seem to justbe getting thicker and thicker, and then i give up and get bigger and bigger... and I just start feeling like i will never be able to lose weight.

Just wondering...sorry.

Don't be sorry about you feel. One can never control the way they feel. Now that I'm done fussing at you, lol... let me tell you that you are not alone. I, too, felt that way for a very long time.. in fact, there are days when I don't see the scale move and I'm like "Are you #$&*@ serious?! I'm destined to never lose weight!" and I usually throw a tantrum or cry like a little school girl..
My point is.. this is normal. It's just a matter getting into the positive mindset. There is NO SUCH THING of "well maybe I'm just meant to be this way.."
Weight loss comes easier to some.. it also comes harder to some..
If you feel like you are trying and it's not working.. tweak it out a bit.. but you are meant to be healthy.. everyone is meant to be healthy
Hope this helps and give me a holler *said with a southern twang* if you need anything

Haha I know that feeling!

I have to say I've been there too Blinded Grace. When I first started off on my journey I thought my goal was too far away and just too big for me to handle. I got frustrated when I missed a workout or ate even the tiniest amount of "fattening foods". I had to except its never going to be perfect ALL the time. This journey is more about fighting though self abuse you put on yourself and the physical challenges that come along with the job. Even today, 145-148ish lbs lost I STILL feel like I'm getting nowhere and I'll never reach my ultimate goal...but then, thats just one bad day of many that had and will happen - its normal. Just remember that if you stick with your food and exercise routine, even if you goof at times, its a step forward. Take baby steps - One of my Fav quotes thats helped me A LOT is "I can't lose 100lbs, but I can lose 10lbs 10 times"

Very cool. I like this one. May I borrow it for my next blog post?

Go right ahead!

Definitely! I still feel that way even now that I'm 60+ lbs down (not a huge amount, but still). I'm still waiting for the day that the scale just stops moving, or worse, it starts moving up even though I eat right and exercise.

I also have this thing where I half believe that even when the scale does move down, it's not real. It's water weight or the scale's busted (and so are the others I try). And that my shrinking measurements are flukes of my bad measuring abilities. All of that stems from me subconsiously not really believing I can lose weight. I tried voicing that once and basically got told I was a head case (lovingly, of course - lol).

You're so not alone in this. But you CAN do it, and everyone on this site will help support you just like they do each other. Even if you don't believe it now, keep pushing on and you'll see a difference.

I understand that fear, followed by the sense of panic and despair.

I find the best thing is to do some research, to try by trial and error to find a Diet/Way of Eating that shows a sign of working. Approach it like a project, not a wibbly emotional thing.
Essential:
Plan, plan, plan. It is perfectly possible to think we're eating 'healthily' or 'low enough to lose', when in actual fact it's no such thing.
Log, log, log. Again, it is perfectly easy to mistake the amount we eat. Plus, if you record everything you eat against what you lose, you will begin to see patterns.

For me, the only way to conquer this real fear is to come at the whole weightloss thing with great planning and efficiency - something that's fairly alien to me!

Think of it this way:

You exercise. You eat right. You don't lose any weight.

Who cares? You're still improving your health and fitness. You're still doing a great thing, even if the scale doesn't move (and it will). What about all those thin people who don't need to lose weight, but who set healthy eating and fitness as their goals? What motivates them? Healthiness for the sake of being healthy! Taking care of your body for the sake of taking care of it. It's still a totally worthy goal.

Hey, your fear is my reality!

I eat low calories, exercise every day, and I think I lose about a pound a month, if that much. I've gone months without losing a pound, but eating low calories and exercising.

How does that happen? PCOS happens, that's how!

So, yes, there are medical reasons why your weight loss can be glacial. But like Expunge said, it's not just about how much the scale reads, but rather how healthy you're getting, how much more you can move (or run or climb or ride or whatever), how low your cholesterol gets, how much your allergies or your foot pain or your back pain improves.

I think it's so important to remember that weight loss is just one part of the overall picture.

I feel the way you feel also. I got so down and depressed because i had gastric bypass in 2004. and between a baby and just not watching what i ate i gained some of the weight back. at that point i felt like i was never ever going to be at a better weight and that i was meant to be fat. it makes me even more upset like said in other posts you look the scale and no movement is fusterating. but about a week ago i decided that i can do this and i can lose weight!!! i may not be perfect and all toned but i can lose weight feel better, and once my daughter starts walking be able to keep up with her!

Fears... anxiety... Not only that I won't lose even if I do everything perfectly, but also the fear that I don't have the "will power" (or what ever you want to call it) to even try in the first place. Fear has definitely been holding me back. I can sit in the evening and eat cheese/crackers and drink wine for dinner. I can put down a whole brick of cheese, a whole box of triscuits and a whole bottle of wine. While that is totally disgusting... it is sort of a scary feeling to think of never doing that again... never having that sort of "security blanket" for an evening when hubby isn't home and I am watching chick flicks.

I have been working on cleaning my "craft room" in my basement and I came accross my binding machine. I have a TON of colored and textured paper and card stock... so I started making journals. I have made a whole bunch (and plan to hand some out to friends this weekend at a girls night we are having) and I am using them to write in. Write my fears down. Write about goals I have. Write about whether I am really hungry or not. Write about things I can do other than eat...

Maybe a journal would help you? You could write it all down - get it all out... maybe your fears will seem smaller written down?

I can't get over how when I am obese I cannot lose weight. I mean I try and try and fail and fail. I seriously thought that becoming middle age spelled certain doom and I would never lose weight again. I even accepted that for many years, trying to come to terms with it.

Then one day I decided to just do it. I did it. What that change over was, I will really never know. One day I truly believed I could not lose weight ever again, and then I was. The only thing I can think of was understanding that I had to be hungry to an extent and I had to do it, day after day without giving up, even when the scale would not move. Perseverance is the true key, but still, I can't seem to latch on to why I felt I could not do it.

I have been thin before, and I have to say the convex is true also. I firmly believed I would never gain the weight back. I mean, who in their right mind would gain back 120 pounds without stopping it in the process? Me. All 120 pounds plus 40 more. I thought the pain and misery of being obese would have avoided at all costs, wow, when I think of all the journals I filled with my unhappiness at being so heavy....but being thin did not prevent me from finding it all over again.

I am still not sure of all the dynamics, and I have been through this process so many times thinking I found the answer, so sure of myself that I knew it all. I don't. Not in 30 years of dealing with it do I know why my mind sets itself into the patterns that it does that are so self defeating.

But...and there is always a but....lol. I am gaining confidence this time around, I am exploring every angle and seeking support. I want to do this with an open mind, not with pessimism and fear.

Wow, martinimouse! Well written!

I know now that I can lose weight... however sticking it out to my goal weight.... not so sure.

My biggest fear is gaining back. I have gotten rid of $1000s of dollars of BIG clothes. My husband will kill me if I gain weight back!

What helped it all click into place for me is reading success stories. Go on the Body for Life website and look at the success pictures, look at the goal stories on this website, do a search for weight loss success on the internet. If the success stories don't convince you, I don't know what will.

That's what started my obession for my first and 3rd challenges. I'm on my 3rd now. I lost my mojo on the second challenge but I'm back for my 3rd. I follow the Body for Life plan and I love it because I eat every 2 hours and workout for 4 hours a week and it soooo works and I sooooo love it!!

Anyhow enough rambling (I promise I don't work for them ) That's how it finally clicked for me that I CAN do it. Maybe that may help you?

Good luck!!!