I have to admit, I am scared of my behavior lately . I have had a fear of going back to old eating habits and that is exactly what I have been doing. I decided to take a little break from dieting for a couple week around the holiday season and just eat at a maintenance level. I started out really well by just eyeballing my food and being mindful until it came time to do my Christmas baking. I made small batches this year and I even froze everything so I would not be as tempted. Well that didn't work and I raided the freezer every night for goodies. All the while I was telling myself little excuses to make me feel better about eating the junk. Its all a mind game with me . Christmas day was a planned free day. I did eat a lot of sugar and I felt sick so I figured I learned a lesson. The plan was to start exercising and calorie counting on boxing day. I have been making excuses for myself ever since and I am still not back on track yet. Granted, I was really sick with a flu and I couldn't eat much for two days.
Last night, our children had a sleepover and we ended up going to McDonalds, followed by donuts and a bunch of chips during a movie. It was the kid's first sleep over so it was a special occasion. We don't ever eat like that. I actually planned to not eat any of it, I was going to eat something for my dinner before we went out. It was going well until my husband was informed that he didn't get the job we thought he would get. He has been looking for work for so long and we really needed it. It was really upsetting and I ate my sadness away. It was pathetic! I should know better by now after a year of doing what it takes to lose weight. I was SO sick last night from the junk and I still don't feel well today. I vow that I am back on track, I just can't throw it all away after coming this far. I know I have at least three or four extra pounds to lose now. Its not so bad but I am just disappointed in myself and a little scared that I might blow it when I finally do hit maintenance. I feel fatter and really ashamed.

Anyway, thanks for listening

You are here...that's a GREAT sign, and an even BETTER sign that you WILL succeed in maintenence. Success is not about falling...but it's about getting back up.

So glad you are back...and most importantly, back on track!

LOL, I was just posting a quote on my signature that is similar to this

Thank you for your support

I understand how scary this is, but YOU CAN DO IT. Your here, and posting, great first steps!

Well done for posting this and having the strength to get up ans start again. I had to do the same after a major binge-eating relapse over Christmas. It is really hard if your meals have been naughty recently because my body seems to remember that and want it even more. But you can do it and remember if you resist today, tomorrow will be better. If you don't resist today, then tomorrow you will be sucked in by the food even more. Harsh but true.

I justified having a little bit of honey last night and today I already had some honey twice, it sucks me in. So that is the end of honey for me for today. Tomorrow starting again I hope I am going to make the right decisions. I am relaxed about tonight, going to eat well before I go out, I know I am going to have sweet drinks, I allow myself to do that as forbidding unrealistically will not work. It is ok to have sweet drinks today, possibly take away or some junk food but I really pray I don't touch that sugar and those chocolates today because they suck me in unbelievably.

All the best of luck! You can do it girl! You are not alone! Come and join the club! We fall down, get up and start again!

Good for you for all the weight that you have lost. That's amazing It is tough to stay "on the wagon" of the eating that works best for you. I have fallen off of mine many times and emotionally it really stinks, but it sounds like you know what to do and how to get back on track.

You've lost an amazing amount of weight and you should definitely be proud. I think it's great that you started a post and just talked about how you're feeling. It can be therapeutic and really help us get past things when we just allow ourselves to let it out.

I joined the club of Holiday Bingers. I kept telling myself it wasn't that big a deal. That as soon as Christmas was over I'd be back on plan. Not so much. I kept making bad choices. Wednesday night I felt some cravings, stopped at the store on the way home, bought way too much junk, ate almost all of it that night and almost got sick. I hadn't been eating like that during the Holidays, but it turned into a slippery slop and I finally snapped out of it after I did that too myself the other night. I woke up the next morning and WANTED to eat healthy. I hated the way eating all the junk made me feel and I wanted to feel the opposite again. I ate right all day yesterday and I could already tell a difference in my mood, my sleep and my energy. That quote is great, just keep it in mind and you'll be ok.

I noticed that you have a link to your progress pictures in your signature. Would it help you to look at your "before" pictures to remember what you don't ever want to go back to? I know that keeps me motivated when I hit a rut where it seems like it's all pointless. Looking at old pictures and saying "Okay, now I remember why I started this in the first place, and I never want to be there again."

You've made awesome progress so far! Don't give up on that!

Don't beat yourself up too much. You've at least noticed that you're going back to your old eating habits! It would be worse if you didn't even know it and gained back a ton more weight.

A new year starts tonight and this is the chance to turn things around and focus back on your calorie tracking, on eliminating those "excuses", and for your husband finding a new job!

Get back on the wagon, all is not lost.

You know what, this journey is not about the failures, we all have those. It's about how we overcome the setbacks, the goof-ups, the binges, the failure to maintain and how we just KEEP AT IT until we succeed. Makes you a success in my book for posting what happened and being accountable!

I have to say, I had the same idea, maintain for a couple weeks during the holidays, try to eat mindfully, stay within 2 pounds of my lowest recent weigh-in on 12/13.

Um, yeah, plans well laid... and I didn't think about how stressed I tend to get, both mentally and physically during the holidays. Instead of eating mindfully, I stress ate. I binged at least once, I ate fast food, I ate sugar, I even had something I would normally NEVER order, a Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites pizza. The commercials just got to me, sigh. At points, I was up to something like 7 pounds over my last weigh-in. I didn't track my food well either, there were several days of non-accountability and NO food logging.

The good news, all is not as bad as I feared, most of that, even though I was eating far too many calories for a while, is water and has started to come off. I was active, things like snow shoveling, tree decorating, cat tree erecting, cooking, all kept me busy and moving. So I hope that you'll find the same, and that it has not all been as bad as you feared once you are back on plan.

I feel much the same as you, a bit ashamed, kind of scared of what will happen when I do eventually reach goal and have to maintain. But meanwhile, I've got fat to lose and I'm getting myself back on track.

Hang in there! New Year is coming... time to get rolling!

Thanks so much girls. I was telling my husband how I came here to post my story and how much this site means to me and my success! I don't know if I would have made it this far without the online support as I don't really have any true friends or very much family to support me. I just have my husband, children, dad and step mother. My dad tells me I am too thin and I better not lose anymore weight. I can't win LOL.

Anyway, I am proud to say I am back on track and it feels really good. Today was the first day in two weeks that I logged my food into fitday. I am going to get back into my exercise later this week when the kids are back in school. I am kind of nervous about getting back into a routine after any length of time. I really hate exercise, especially when its too cold to get out and walk.

Thanks again everyone

sweetnlow, just opening up and pouring your heart into that post means so much. It means you are ready to come back and start again, and get healthy. So you aren't ready for maintenance without careful planning. So what. You can work up to that, for now, let yourself learn from your mistakes. You have done great and will do again.

Good to hear it! I had a not great day of eating yesterday, but the good news is that there are only two cookies and one chocolate bar left in the house... and more will NOT be coming in to tempt me!

I think getting back to our normal routines as fast as we can is the key. Cheers!

I hear you on that! I felt like I needed to get all the junk out of the house to get back on track. There is still some junk left from the sleepover the kids had. Those cheesies and chips stare at me whenever I open the cupboard. I am not too bad with cookies and stuff but salty munchies were always my weakness. I will be glad when the kids have their weekend treat and eat the rest of them up I bought groceries today and I had to say NO to myself so many times. Normally, I wouldn't even pay attention to those kinds of foods. Its like taking a step backwards.

Girl...I too am hanging my head in shame BUT starting back on my weightloss journey

Over the holidays I completely let it go and was eating whatever and I didn't measure or count a thing like I normally would... I gained 3 lbs back of the 12 I lost and I'm glad it's not more! It's okay though, I plan to nip it in the bud before I am back to square one again. I also had stopped doing my usual workouts, but back on that tomorrow.

I'm glad for the mess up though cause it helps me to really realize this has to be a lifestyle change and NOT a diet that I get on and off. When I get to my goal it can't be "Yay now I can do whatever and not care!" I especially realize that exercise is UBER important, especially if I wanna eat a lot. I also realize the truth of the slippery slope, where it wasn't until I experienced it that I realize I could slide so fast and start adding back stuff that I hadn't had before EXCEPT this time I was aware and realize that that mindset when not caught is what lead me to being obese. So now I can actually think about how it will work long term and realize how much and how long it takes to gain for me and what habits I have to avoid like the plague and where I can be lenient. I'm ready to be back on it though