Hi everyone, I've been lurking for a while and all of you ladies seem great so I'm reaching out for some suggestions or support. I've been dieting pretty much for the last 15 years trying to please a husband that really doesn't like "fat" women but married one Well I'd loose,gain,loose,gain the vicious cycle seemed to go forever. This past January I decided that I would lose weight for me and unlike every other year I would not give up after a few weeks. Slowly but surely the weight began to come off. Well 64lbs. later the scale hasn't moved in over a month. Trying to eat less, eat better, exercise more but about ready to throw in the towel. I do not want to demonize my husband he has acknowledged his issues and has made big changes in his behavior but he owns his own business and is out of the house pretty much all day. I'm a stay at home mom, I have no family besides my husband and my kids, nobody to vent to as although he is trying my husband always has the same answer,just don't eat, duh! I'm hypothyroid my meds are up to 200 mcgs. daily so I am well aware of the fact that it is harder for me to lose weight than other people, but everything seemed to be going so well that I thought it was all worked out. Just had blood work done thinking my thyroid might be getting worse but doc says everything is fine and he doesn't want to increase meeds. I'm sorry for the long post, any advice is appreciated.

The scale hasn't moved in over a month, that means you're successfully maintaining a weight loss of 64 lbs. Why are you seeing failure instead of the success?

Giving up doesn't mean no more weight loss, it means weight gain.

If you don't care, and are ok with regaining the 64 lbs (and probably a few more on top of it), then feel free to give up, but if you want to maintain your 64 lb loss, you have to keep at it.

I do know how easy it is to give up - I did it many times over, over the last four decades. Never once did I give up that I didn't gain back all the weight and 10 to 30 more to spare.

"This time" I have a lot of health issues that make weight loss a terrible struggle. So much a struggle that it's taken six years to lose just under 90 lbs. And the last three years to lose 70 pounds of it.

Every time I feel like even one more pound is impossible, I remind myself that weight maintenance IS possible, and I don't want to regain my lost weight. Maintaining weight requires essentially the same effort as losing, so while I'm at the maintaining, I might as well work on "just one more" pound as well.

You have to find your own motivation for weigh loss. If you don't have any, you won't. If it doesn't matter to you, you won't do it.

That's your choice, but know what it is you're choosing. Giving up means choosing to regain, is that really the choice you want to be making? If not, you have to choose what you do want, and aim yourself in that direction. You've got to remember that losing slowly isn't failure. Even no more losses, isn't failure. If you never lose another ounce, you've succeeded at 64 lbs of weight loss. That's an astonishing achievement and worth preserving, even if you never reach your goal weight.

What kaplods said!!!

I was losing like gangbusters there for a while and the last couple months not so much. It is demoralizing, no question about it. You feel like you've got it figured out, got a handle on cravings and binges and healthy choices and then what was working suddenly isn't. What's a girl to do?!

When I started being serious about this new way of living last February I decided I was doing it for life. My life. Losing weight is good but it was my higher cholesterol and my older brother's diagnosis as pre-diabetic that were my wake-up calls. My new food choices were to improve those things in my life and the weight loss was just a wonderful side benefit. Whether I continue to lose weight or not I know I can NOT go back to eating like I was.

I'm just doing this for myself but you, you have kids to live for. I personally can't think of a better reason to keep making healthy choices.

The same reasons I gave up almost every time I try; and what happened when I gave up? I put on more weight than I'd had before. :/

What I say is, try doing something differently. The body will eventually get used to anything you put it through, and in this case I mean exercise. Maybe you've gotten used to something and a change in routine or a new challenge will kick off the fat burning again?

Give up.

I gave up calorie counting and joined weight watchers.

Give up your exercise routine (or lack thereof) and try something new.

Give up 1/4 cup of rice and pasta portions every day.

Give up your 5 pound hand weights and get some 15 pounders.

Give up your old clothes and get some new cute workout clothes.

Give up having no one to talk to and join a group, walking club, or hiking club.

Give up hoping that your husband will give you the answer you want.

You guys made great points. Self esteem has really taken a beating over the years so I don't always acknowledge my successes. I'll try changing up my exercise routine and be more consistent with my food journal. It had just really gotten to me last night and I was feeling so defeated. In the same way computers have spell check I think mine needs hormonal self pity check.

A woman who has lost 64 pounds despite pressure, negativity, and lack of understanding at home deserves to have excellent self-esteem.

It's good that you haven't demonized your husband; he's done a fine job of it himself. What do men who criticize their wives' weight expect? "Oh honey, I'm so sorry that the aging process and having borne your children has added a few inches to my hips; I'll get right on those sweeping lifestyle changes that will bring me back into the weight range that you find attractive because nothing matters more to me than how closely I can conform my body to your sexual ideal!"

Seriously, though--please remember to be proud of your success so far, because it's quite impressive. Month-long stalls can definitely be discouraging to anyone. I hope that your next month is easier.

I didn't read all the other replies, but I have found that eating more food, not less, kicks me into higher gear...if I am choosing more dark leafy green and other veggies and maybe a little extra essential oils. For some reason my body does need more of these in order to operate smoothly. Kind of like oiling the car, I guess.

I have so much to say on the rest (the husband, self image, etc.) but as a classic yo yo dieter about to embark on a new attempt, I'm really more in a sit back and read and learn stage than a talk stage.

Best of luck to you!

Losing 64lbs is a major accomplishment! Just because the scale hasn't went down any further does not mean that you are wasting your time...I think that is awesome, you are not gaining! Even though your self-esteem may be a bit low right now...you have to think about things from another person's prospective. Losing 64lbs and not gaining it back takes a GREAT deal of strength and discipline. You are obviously strong and when you realize that your self-esteem will rise! Good luck

You've done great. And maintaining over the holidays is a lot more than a lot of us managed. You should be proud of yourself. And accept the fact that your body is going to need a month here and there to adjust to the changes it's made.

You should be so proud of yourself! It takes a great amount of courage to say enough is enough and start the weight loss journey and you lost SO MUCH weight! You are doing so good! You should take a minute and feel proud and not beat yourself up.

Also, I find that my body needs a time to adjust for every 10-15 lb I loose and I let it have it's momentum by not restricting so much and just trying to maintain rather than loose for a couple of weeks, otherwise I always get sick and come down with a cold or get into a long plateau. The fact that you have not lost for a while to me means your body needs a bit of a break and for you not to despair and give up. You ARE on your way and with this determination you will get there!

PS - I also stay home and my husband works a lot and I have no immediate family except my kids and him, so I can understand the loneliness it brings. I love them to death but sometimes I wish for the warmth a big family brings to others. I think it's a lso harder to diet in this situation but try to concentrate that you are doing this first for yourself and then your kids.

Being hypothyroid does not mean you have to be overweight. I am on 300 mcg Synthroid daily and I lose well. If your medication is at the right level, you can lose like anyone else. Maybe you need to get checked? Our bodies do from time to time stop losing so they can tone up and get everything used to the lower weight and then the weight comes off again. I know that can be very discouraging, but it will change. You have done a great job so far and with perserverance you will reach your goal.

Thanks again everyone, you have no idea how much your kind words have helped.

I think many of us on here would LOVE to say they have lost 64 pounds thus far. You should be proud of yourself and yes, make a little change. You did it before, you can do it again. Maybe you need to add one more cardio a week or something like that. I think you are doing great!!!!

It really is so impressive you lost 64 lbs so don't downplay that accomplishment!

With that said the same thing happened to me. I lost my first 12 pounds in 3 months then got stuck! I started thinking I wouldn't be able to loose anymore and it was disheartening. But I changed from running and doing my own weights to the P90X program and I watched to make sure I was eating balanced meals through the day rather than just counting calories and I lost 9 more pounds in the next 3 months. So like some of the others said change it up because your body is probably used to what you have been doing and that's why you don't see the change anymore. Hang in there and even if you are just maintaining that is still great because you aren't gaining