I work in an office of four. Literally four. And they're planning to order pizza for a "Christmas Party" here today. I'm not wanting to partake in the pizza, especially since I've got perfectly good leftovers at home I need and want to eat. And besides - the only pizza available in my town isn't worth the wasted calories.

So they just asked me for the first time if I wanted pizza - they just assumed I wanted some before now. I told them no, I'd be going home to eat.

And now they're upset....I'm trashing the holiday atmosphere. So I'm about to head home for lunch and then sit in my office while they're all in the back eating pizza and cookies and having a good time, since they'll give me a hard time for not participating. They always do.

In a bigger office it wouldn't be so hard or awkward. But when 1/4 of the office isn't participating, it's weird. Blah.

That is blah, I agree. Would you want to take your leftovers into the back room and eat with them? See, I'm a big old stick in the mud ALL the time. I never join in on the eating and when I do, I always take it back to my office. But you? If you'd like to socialize, you sure could. You can show them how to be in the "Christmas spirit" without the splurges. How does pizza say "Christmas" anyway?

You are perpetuating it by sitting in your office eating. Join them. Be festive. Share some fruit or something.

Its sort of the same here. Most of my office is on vacation today so those that are here all guys that decided that bagels were best for breakfast. Cheese and jalapeno covered bagels.

If they wanted you to participate why didn't they have pizza and salad or something?

I agree I'd just take my food and join them and say just cuz you didn't want pizza didn't mean you didn't want to participate. But I totally understand how you feel.

I strongly suggest you join them, even if you don't eat, or eat your own lunch. The party doesn't need to be only about the food - if you don't go, you're letting it be only about the food and you are letting your way of eating be a bigger deal than it really should be. You're not a pariah - you just don't want to eat pizza for lunch.

I went to my department Christmas party and kept everyone company while they ate lasagna, Caesar salad, and pastries. I didn't eat a bite. But I was there, being social and being part of the festivities. A few people asked why I wasn't eating. I just said "oh, I'll get some lunch later" and changed the subject. It was fine, and I got to be a part of the party.

Would eating just a slice of pizza be out of the question for you? Either because, like you said, the pizza is not good, or because you think you wouldn't be able to eat pizza in moderation? I ask because I feel terribly deprived if I don't eat what everybody else is eating. It's a childish feeling, but I can't help it. I wanna be a part of whatever's going on. So I either eat just a little or I splurge and regret it later. Of course, I prefer to do the former, but I don't always have the willpower for that.

Clarabr...right now I've been going to overboard with eating I'm really trying to reign it in. I just feel like giving in to pizza right now would be a bad, bad thing for me. Other times I'll go on ahead and splurge, but today it just didn't feel right.

I went ahead and went home to grab lunch (and it was delish). I'll probably head to the back and talk to 'em some....

Oh, wait...they just walked in with pizza and already started mouthing about it. Maybe not.

Wait until they're done and show up with a glass of water or something?

I see what you mean, and I remembered your post about your small gain, so I understand why you don't want pizza today .

Oh, on the subject of that gain...down one to 143 today....so some relief there....

Good! You'll see it's just water!

I dont think I'd go home to eat....I'd probably bring my own food in or order a salad from the pizza shop. But thats just me, If I were your co-worker you would be making me feel badly for eating a slice of pizza and could leave the impression that they are not worth eating with. I see both sides

People feel rejected when you reject their food. This seems to be a basic human instinct, and it's hard to turn off. When people feel rejected, they get defensive--it's a cover for the awkwardness they are feeling. So it's a good idea to flatter them a little bit, let them know you aren't rejecting them. When they say "Hey, do you want to get in on this pizza.", don't say "no, thanks", say "I can't eat pizza today*, but would you guys be terribly offended if I just brought my lunch back there and ate with you? I'd love to catch up before the holidays" or "I gotta go home at lunch*, but when I get back if there's time, I'd love to join you guys". Basically make sure you make it clear that you think they are cool.

*note that you don't have to say why. Not over explaining is key here.

MindiV, I quit drinking when I worked at a company that had a free "happy hour" every Friday afternoon. At first I had to just not go, but I couldn't do that forever. Over time it wasn't so hard for me to go and drink a soft drink or sparkling water, and I found no one really cared very much.

Of course, you're in a small office, so it's hard. First of all, how come when they were hatching this plan, you didn't speak up and say, "I don't want pizza, but is there some other stuff I could get, like salad or chicken?" You don't have to wait until they ask you to make your needs known.

I hope it all went OK. Your co-workers might feel bad about it because they surely didn't mean to exclude you--they just weren't thinking that way. And you feel bad because it was so awkward. Let us know how it went...

Jay

I stayed up front and answered phones and took care of customers while they had lunch....I'll handle it better next time, though!