I just did my first purge after a binge.
I'm so upset and disapointed with myself because I swore I would never-EVER do that, no matter how crappy I felt. And now not only do I feel bad about about the binge eating I just did, but I feel ten times worse about the purge. And considering its my first, I'm worried I might do it again.

I am seriously crying right now because of what I did. And it wasn't even 10mins ago....

I'm really scared and need someone to talk to. If anyone can give me some advice or support, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks.

You've taken a very important (and brave) 1st step in acknowledging what you've done. Now you need to make the decision to never do that again, and forgive yourself. You are in control of what goes into your mouth. The best way to handle when you over-do it is to acknowledge it, then move on and get back on track, not punish yourself or purge. You are not "bad" or "weak", just human. My heart goes out to you. Sending hugs your way

Thank you.
I feel a little better. I guess it is true that when you talk to someone, it helps.
I hope to never do it again. A friend said that she'll help me do a light and healthy detox to get me back on track and to feel better- both in body and mind.

i've been where you've been! take a step back, look at what you've done..and realize it was a one time thing. You are a strong person and just had a moment of weakness, and thats okay! you would be suprised how many women (and men) do this, and can't admit it. Like my friend above me said, you made the first step by saying something, probably the biggest step at all. I did it ONE TIME a long time ago, when i was thin. I ate too much and felt like crud so i chugged a red bull and purged so horribly my eyes were red from the blood vessels breaking. I looked at myself and said never again. and i haven't. remember how you feel now, the aftermath, if you ever feel like you want to do this again. Remember how horrible you felt. because 1st, 2nd, 56th time it is still the same feeling. Just continue on, I know you are strong!!

maybe even copy and paste your post and write your feelings somewhere that you can go back to them if you feel that urge again... it has helped me to write about previous binges (i've never purged but have over exercised post binge)... here is one i go back to often:

Blue Poo
I looked in the toilet and saw something strange. My poo was blue. The water in the toilet was blue. My toilet paper I wiped with was blue. Go figure. What happened? Well I binged on icing I had made for Lawson’s birthday cake. I ate a sandwich bag full of it. Then I ate the bag of black icing too. Add in the black icing and the blue icing and you get funky poo. When I saw that colour in the toilet, I realized I don’t want to put my body through this again. I decided that the binging has to stop. Again I decided this. I fall off the preverbial wagon often. I am hoping to make it one more day than last time.

***HUGS*** good for you for being brave enough to come on here and type out what you did. Realize that you LOVE yourself and you deserve BETTER than this. Treat yourself with love and respect. Forgive yourself, we all make mistakes, and vow never do this again.

HUGE HUGS to you KattoS. You are not a bad person and you are not going to make a habit of this. This f*cking country doesn't help matters. I deeply and truly feel your pain.

KattoS, I feel your pain and hope that you remember how cruddy you felt after you binged and purged. I have done that before and felt terrible about it for a long time. Just take control now and get back on the good nutrition wagon. None of us are perfect, but what's important is that we continue to try until we reach our goals. Best wishes.

Thanks you guys.

Honestly, I did think about it again, but I didn't do it. I remembered how yucky, I felt after and how I still feel a little down for what I did.

I'm getting back on track with exercising and eating better-smaller portions. I haven't gotten back into routine yet, but I'm getting there.

And I hope by the end of this week I will be down another 2-3lbs before I head home for break. And I'm doing it the healthy way.

KattoS, big big hugs to you for being so brave to share this and reach out for help! I strongly believe that you can do it! I usually just binge-eat and then hate myself, the last few times tho I hated myself so much that I wanted to make myself sick. You don't have to do it any more, you have done it once, you know what it is like, you don't need to be in this pain ever again. Just for one day, one step at a time. For me I cannot say that I will never binge again or that I will never make myself sick, I tried in the past and I just failed. But today, I haven't done neither and I think tomorrow will be fine. I know that if I do feel like binging I do have a choice not to do it, I can talk to people, do something different. All the best of luck and well done for reaching out for help!

Thinking of you. I have never purged, but I have binged many times and wanted to. I understand your frustration. I just I could not only have that initial motivation to lose weight, but also the motivation to keep it going. I have a lot to lose and I am tired of gaining and losing over and over again. My thoughts are with you.