I've been doing really well and I know I shouldnt be saying this because its just going to get stuck in my head but this is why im posting it, for support and feedback..not attention.
Anyhow..I'm afraid that I will never like my body. Even now after losing 20 pounds I know I can see a change but I'm still not happy. I have thick skin so I see it and get annoyed and critique myself. Bleh I dont know. I never liked my body even when I was like 12 at 115-120 pounds. I know a lot of you have probably felt this way or still do. I just need talking to.

i think about this at times also. but then i try and remember that there are so many upsides to getting to goal.
i will be able to wear more flattering clothes. so what if my skin is a tad loose or my boobs are less perkier than they used to be? i'll be able to have a much wider selection of stores and clothes to choose from-surely i should be able to find something that looks great on me.
i will be healthier too and that's awesome.
i don't remember loving my body when i was thin either, but now that i look back i see it was fantastic then. i was really young when i was thin, like you, around 12-13, i wasn't that in tune with it yet. do you know what i mean? i thought that sexy was the women in magazines i saw. now i know what sexy really is and that's what i want back. basically what i am saying is that back then i wasn't old enough to feel 'sexy' and confident and i thought sexy and confident looked like the girls on the seventeen magazine cover, but now i know what real beauty is. yes, i may have stretch marks, but i also gave birth to a gorgeous little boy that alone makes me feel beautiful and love my body.

aw yeah its always good when you have someone to make you feel beautiful. I dont have anyone like that and dont have many supporters unfortunately which is why I'm here. I know that when I'm 135 pounds I will be able to wear more flattering clothing and like it. Who knows, im only 19 and maybe it wont be as bad as I think. As of right now though..I'm just hoping my skin will tighten that the rolls with deminish, as gross as that sounds but eh we all got em.

i'm like this, too. when people tell me i look better... a little voice in my head retorts "yeah, compared to what i looked like before... but i'm still fat!!!" and even after losing 35+ lbs, it feels like i have a looooong way to go... this is why the numbers on the scale mean too much to me and gets me going... because what i see in the mirror and other people's comments about my body don't mean anything to me.

Yeah me too. The number on that scale means so much. If I have a gain, I feel horrible but if I have a loss, big or small I feel good. I mean some days I wake up I look at myself half nake in the mirror and I like it, other days I look and I'm revolted. Blah!

it won't be as bad as you think and i bet when you get to your goal your skin will be tight. i think even mine will be pretty darn close and i had a baby. your rolls will diminish too. i have 2 friends who i've met within the last couple years, seen them in bathing suits and was shocked to learn that both of them had lost close to 50-70 lbs and i would have never known they used to be heavier by looking at their skin.

I actually have a friend who lost over 30 pounds. I didnt know her when she was heavy but I've seen her in a bathing suit and her body looks great. So we shall see. I'm hoping for good things.