I've handled all my hurdles with...disappointment!

A lot of people expect magic changes to come with magic numbers. When they get to goal weight they are going to look just like a Maxim model and feel sexy and confident and everything will be perfect. But then (using myself as an example) once they get to a weight they once thought they'd be happy at, they realize they still look the same in their head. There is still fat, and now there are stretch marks and loose skin that may only be repairable with surgery. Maybe some body parts we liked just as they are have shrunken or disappeared and can only be rebuilt with a boob job or strenuous strength training in the case of lost butts.

An imperfect "after," however, is MUCH better than a super-dissatisfied "before." I don't want to freak anyone one or sound like an Eeyore, but this has been the biggest challenge in my progress.

Totally agree with Krampus (and love the new avatar BTW). Don't get me wrong, I am so massively happy with my weight loss and wouldn't go back to how I was in a million years, but it isn't like everything is perfect either.

A lot of us have worked on changing our body and the next hurdle is changing our mind (ie, our self-perception). This might actually be a bit more difficult.

It **is** complicated. It's not just math -- it's not merely a stoic, methodical subtraction of weight each week.

You're working toward a new identity.

That is massive.

But also really exciting, if you are brave enough to face all the implications of what you're doing.

First, congratulations!

Don't overthink it, just roll with it!

It won't solve all your problems, but you'll be healthier.

So true, krampus! I'm being totally realistic this time about the results I'm likely to get. I know I won't turn into a supermodel and I know that all of my problems won't magically disappear. For some reason, the first time I lost weight, that's what I expected. So I just kept losing until I got sick. Actually I think weight loss can be kind of addictive.

On this diet I feel excited, but TBH I also feel bored. Not with the food or anything, just that I've found the best plan for me, so I'm not even conscious of the process sometimes.

Before I started I went through a whole cycle of awful emotions. I put off weight loss for years due to the emotional upheaval I would feel.
The mental side is the hardest for me.

Good luck, Ciao

self-reflection and contemplation is scary, whether you've lost 30 pounds or 300. Learning about ourselves is a scary business -- I think that's why I stayed fat for 25 years -- it was way easier to blame every single thing on BEING FAT, and easier to obsess about losing weight, getting all the new info on a new diet and throwing myself into it full tilt, rather than having to look inward and actually deal with anything. I liken my "old self" to an alcoholic, or drug addict, or even a teen girl cutting herself -- any behaviour to AVOID dealing with life -- I didn't have to actually be responsible for anything, hey you don't have to work out and not eat the whole cheesecake because i'm FAT yay and everyone makes excuses for the fat girl, you can't help it! eat all you want. GAH!

oops, tangent much?? LOL What i was going for is you're NOT making it complicated, you're having FEELINGS and you're talking about them and getting them out there - not burying your head in the sand, so good for you!

PS don't fret the imperfect after, I lost a boat-load of weight and i only have a very small amount of loose skin, thanks genetics! it's luck of the draw sometimes.

Saef and Krampus - you two have given very thought provoking responses, thank you!

I hope your weigh in tomorrow is satisfying and where you want it to be. It's a big change psychologically, even if the physical differences are minimal, that absolutely affects our emotions and can take time to deal with and process through. Take your time and enjoy your new decade of weight

Weight Loss can be addictive. I was obsessed on getting myself lose weight when I was 15. My schoolmates tend to call me names. And it did get my confidence in ruins. I never attend parties especially held on beaches and stuff ( where one would wear something that exposes your body). I made few friends though (my kind of size friends) and we made a pact that we should loose some weight in the near future.
I graduated and got myself some job 5 years ago. I took myself to a routine, regular diet and daily exercises. If I go to a certain place, if I can walk it through I do it. I keep myself off from foods that would let me gain weight, I sacrificed myself from eating irregularly unlike my younger years where I eat when I am depressed and eats when happy almost always anytime of the day.
Through it all I managed to get in shape. I never noticed it till Mom said I was not like before.
Sheer will/ Determination, Discipline and proper diet I conquered my obesity days.I am so satisfied now.
I do hope I could gain some friends here too.
_______
Lola

Lola, welcome to 3FCs!

I think it takes time to lose weight and get fit because it is emotional. I, for one, use fat as a defense mechanism. I'm losing that shield so I need to find a different way to deal with problems and different situations. It takes time to figure out what works. As I lose more weight and gain more confidence I improve my self-image. But I also lose my shield and then I feel more vulnerable. If it happened overnight, I don't think I'd be prepared for it.

Oh definitely. I relate. I write and write, and think and think. Gotta unwind all the messes along the way as I lose weight. That, to me, is what the nervousness is about... hidden fears, worries, insecurities. It gets easier