For starters I got on the scale today. It said 196. 196. I knew I gained SOME weight but I wasn't excepting to be anywhere near 200 like THIS again. I was so upset, and I still am. I've been having such a hard time losing weight. I'm normally one or two days a week on a 'normal' schedule but then turn back to eating because I'm stressed or mad. I don't know why this is happening...I mean I know why, but I thought I had gotten rid of all of my food-needing issues. And what's been bugging me more lately is my mom. Sometimes I'll get foods (like pretzels) and she'll tell me "Are you allowed to eat that?" And that just makes me even angrier and I eat. I've resorted to purging with my binges in order to stop gaining weight (Yeah...look how great that turned out) and I'm just SO angry. I NEVER thought I'd be 'gaining it back' like I am. I just don't know how to get back on track being so upset.

I would try to take control of one thing at a time. I would probably limit myself to 16 - 1800 calories a day. Then, I would be sure I wasn't gaining, giving me control over my weight.

And if you know you are eating within the controlled range, maybe that would lessen your guilt and you wouldn't feel the need to binge.

The feeling of seeing the 'real' scale weight (when you know you gained, but underestimated it) could be as bad/ a feeling, if not worse, as breaking up with someone!! I shiver just thinking about it. I totally remember that feeling, like it happened to me yesterday.

hang in there gal

we all have our issues and slip ups but wat's most important is you get back up and go at it again.

i feel the same way ALL the time.

i'd lost all this weight three years ago and have no idea how i gained it all back but when i get in those moments i jus tell myself it doesn't matter, it's here now and i need to stay focused on how to get it back off.

enev tho i HATE when DB says this to me i think if fits now:

let the past be the past and focus on wats going on right now.

good luck!