Wow it is quiet in the monthly chats here.... October thread anyone?

I've been really up and down... I'm trying not to be down. I have a new friend I can talk to about my Dad's illness so I'm hoping that will help there. Her Dad has the same thing so I think we'll be good for each other.

I think I've finally decided what I want to do with the rest of my life so that is a major up for me but makes me very nervous at the same time. How pathetic is this... I'm 34 and just deciding what I want to be when I grow up! After high school I went straight to work meaning to only take 1 year off... yeah, that trap. You know how it goes... Now I'm going to be an adult amoung a bunch of kids... I can only hope there's some older people there also. I unfortunately won't be able to start my upgrading courses until next August... hope I have the money and don't chicken out before then!

How is everyone else?

You say how pathetic is this, I say....Congratulations! on deciding what you want and making plans to go for it. I'll bet there are a bunch of 34 year olds out there who are faking their way through jobs they hate and don't have half the guts you do to actually go for something...you can do what you decide to do!

Don't feel bad...I am 36 and feel the same way. I got married during my "year off" and then...pregnant so...never really went. I went to a votech type school to get a decent job, but have always wanted to be a nurse. Three kids later it only seems harder. I say congrats and don't give up. You can do this!

Hey ladies...

I didn't want to start up my own woe is me thread so I thought I'd just post in the chat to say hello and such... I usually post in calorie counters and 20-somethings but I kind of felt like I needed to post here a bit just because I can no longer ignore that the depression I've dealt with on and off for 6 or so years is most definitely "on" at the moment.
It's causing me to be so incredibly tired and I find it hard to get my exercise in because I feel so lethargic and like I can't be bothered exercising. Sometimes even when I manage to start doing it, it just feels so much harder than it should.
I count calories so that side of things is good because it feels like it is one of the few things in my life at the moment I can control.
I feel stuck in my job at the moment. Even though it's only 3.5 days per week, I feel like it's sucking my creativity and energy out of me for the other days I don't work when I should be in my studio painting. I haven't been in my studio in 4 months and I miss it but I'm sort of scared to get back in there. I just wish I had a week with no work where I could sort myself out. But even if I had that I'm worried I'd just sleep.

Sorry to unload.

LoL - Thanks guys I'm nervous about going back to school. I know I'm going to feel like an old lady there. I got a bit of a boost a few days ago when my step daughter brought home a booklet from that school (they had a career day) and we were looking through programs when I pointed to the one I wanted and said "That's what I want to do..." she perked up and told me she thought it was great I was thinking of going back. It was nice.

Rainbow - Don't worry about unloading... that's what the thread is here for. When I don't feel like working out I tell myself I'm just going to work out for 10 minutes. At 10 minutes I'm starting to go hard and I want to keep going... if I'm really pissy I will stop at 10 minutes.. but that doesn't happen very often. Why are you scared about going back to the studio? It sounds like you have talent so go for it! I know... my job is sucking the life out of me too.. I absolutely loath it. That's why I'm planning on changing Maybe you need to shake things up.

Hey. I'm new. I've had a really good month, went to my psychiatrist expecting a great visit and found out my therapist (who has been wonderful for me) is leaving in November. Sigh. . . .

Hey Aunty Jam, thanks for starting the Oct. chat..and I say WOW and YOU GO, for going back to school!! that takes alot of courage, that is terrific! I'm really glad you found someone to commiserate with about your Dad's illness, that should help at least some I hope.

Hi to the new ones too I know you will find total acceptance here and it is a safe place for us to dump our woes

Karatemom, that is sucky that your trusted therapist will be leaving!

well I am pretty blah lately, not at my lowest but I am finding it impossible to feel happy, the most I can do is recite to myself 'what am I thankful for' to keep myself going. DH is slowly slowly healing after the m'cycle crash, I am the one who is wading through all the insurance and health care letters and forms and crap-ola. I still have no idea how much they will give me for my 4 year old, $12,000-when-new m'cycle. And no, I'm still not excited about getting something new, I'm still mourning my smashed and dead bike.

I make sure to take my med every night 'cause I can't afford to skip even one dose I think...I've been forcing myself to work out, and I have to dig out my Happy Light and blast myself with that too.

to everyone

Vermont, I do the same thing! I come up with a list of things I'm grateful for: I have all my limbs, etc. I hate being in that mode. Maybe you could make a little memorial to your bike? Did you get to keep a little piece off of it? Maybe have that part and picture and biker t-shirt framed behind it or something like that on the mantle. Make a little special place for it so you can see it and honor it. Just an idea.

I'm very busy this week. I work both jobs today and thursday and have an after work activity to attend wednesday night. I'll try to stop by if I can keep my eyes open.

Hello ladies,

I am new to 3FC. I trying to restart my life. I have decided to join weight watchers and I have my first meeting on Saturday. I also went to the doctor 5 weeks ago and was put on Zoloft and Xanex. The Zoloft seems to keep me centered but I have been eating everything in sight and had some headaches. My doctor had orginally said to stay on it for 6-8 weeks before switching but I am not sure about switching.

I realize that I have been depressed for most of my life. I have never really been happpy. I have had moments of bliss, however nothing lasting. My youngest son is 2 and after his birth I was extremly depressed to the point that I would not even go outside. I just hled my baby and cried. Somehow by the grace of God I made it though and since I was nursing I decided not to even think of taking any kind of meds. Last April, I began exercising and lost quite a bit of weight. I did feel better but something was still off. I tried herbal therapy and just trying to talk myself out of my moods. It did not work. So I seeked help and have been on the meds for 5 weeks now. I do feel better, not magically happy as I had hoped, but better. I do not think I am as hateful as I was and I do not seem to yell as much. I still have some temper and anxiety issues. The anxiety should be helped with the xanex and it does but it makes me sleepy.

The worst of my symptoms started since my stepsons began living with us, it really is to much for me. There grandmother had to be but on prozac when they were living full time with her and my husbands x-wife told me before we got married that my stepson was the reason she divorced him. I really am at a loss at what to do about my homelife. The thought of another divorce certainly depresses me more but I am not sure I can take the next 5 years with my step-kids(assuming they leave for college at 18).

Thank you for listening
amym

Hi Amy....

I have had major depression my whole life but wasn't diagnosed until after my kids were born. Those were some dark days so I can really relate.
Stick with the meds for a few weeks.....they will really help.

Hi Amy, and pamelasusan...Amy, I hope the meds help, and I hope for some divine intervention with the stepson! and hi pamelasusan

hopey, you are an I hope the people around you appreciate your depth of niceness!! anyone else by this time is wanting to tell me "GET OVER IT ALREADY, it was just a bike!!" but you suggest a memorial truthfully, I have hundreds of pics that DH has taken of me on her; and unfortunately the pieces I saved are pretty gruesome (no blood, just twisted and sheared metal - my license plate and holder; and one of my oh-so-kewl Kuryakin Zombie footpegs; they are freakishly heavy-duty but it is broken in half.

Anyway, thank you for your continued support

It is so hard for me to graciously keep doing the driving back and forth to get DH to work; it is 128 miles a day...plus today I had to drive to the next big town to register a used car, so add 50 miles to that...felt like I was in the freakin car all day. BUT all along I was saying "I'm so glad I have a car that is running" (and grateful to have limbs to operate the car ) and I am trying to get some big cleaning/decluttering projects done, but it is so hard to schedule it in between everything.

someone told me 'soon this will all just be a memory and you'll be saying I'm so glad it's over' - can't wait for that time!!

I had a horrible temper tantrum today...just stupid things kept happening to keep me from trying to clean a part of the bathroom...I lost my cool, and I kicked the bathroom garbage can into the corner, knocked a poor plant down, toppled some other things, let loose with some ripe four letter words...unfortunately younger son was downstairs and probably thinks I'm insane. And the dog was cowering from me, that sucks!!

Aw thanks Vermont... I really have to get out of my current position, I'm really not happy here or with where my life is right now. I always meant to go back... just didn't know what I wanted to do. Even now there's 3 ways I could go and I'm debating which one I want. They all have their good and bad points. I have a while to decide as long as I start with the upgrading year I'll be committed. OHhhhhh.. guess what. My happy daylight is broken! I actually got up to run in the morning yesterday and the stupid thing wouldn't stay on!!! I second the idea from Hope btw... it sounds like it was a nasty crash.

Hope - Don't forget to take care of yourself, you need your rest.

Amym - I don't have kids but I do have a stepdaughter who lives with us... feel free to tell us more.

I have some good news.... Hubby finally got a job! Today is his first day, cross your fingers for him.

Hello to everyone.

I thought I would tell you all a little about myself as by reading your post I feel as though I know you all some. I am 35 years old, with 6 children. 3 stepsons and 3 biological sons. I am married for the 2nd time for the past 4 years. My youngest is 2 and he is who I look to for most of my happiness, he has the best laugh in the world and for the most part is a happy child, despite the face that I cried constantly his first 6 weeks of life. I work full time as a social worker with abused and neglected children. So needless to say my work life adds to my depression. I do get a lot of satisfaction from the good we do but still somethings are hard to deal with.

For the most part this week has been great. I for the first time in awhile can not remember the last time I cried. I have gotten teary a couple of times but for me not crying is a big deal. I keep the majority of my issues in my head which is part of why I am so anxious all the time. I know I need to talk to my DH more, I am just afraid to lay everyting out there.

As for my stepsons, I am trying to be more patient. The oldest is spending more time with his mother, but their progress reports just came home and he did not do so well and I know his father will not let him go to his moms this weekend. Being a stepmother is the hardest job. You are not their mom, you are not their friend you are just there. I tried to be more a part of their lives when we first got married but now it is hopeless. I try to enforce rules and their mother doesn't. If I tell DH they dont do what I ask he just blows it off, he feels guilty about the time he did not get to spend with them when they were with their mom that he just wants them there no matter how they act. He does not even get that the person they spend the most time with is me and I cant get them to listen to anything. All they do is argue with me.

I have not told anyone I am not medication, I want to see if it works first. I think that is probably wrong but I dont want to be open with my issues just yet. Well I suppose I should amend that as I have told everyone who happens to read this.

amy

amy, thank you for letting us get to know you a bit I have alot of sympathy for you about the stepmom thing; I don't have that situation myself but it sounds very frustrating and maybe sad and probably infuriating at times. Your description of your 2 yr old is wonderful I know I am 'on the edge' of bad times when I cry at anything remotely frustrating. I hope that things get better for you soon

Aunty Jam - HOORAY and congrats on your hubster's job!! how did it go?

Hi to my other friends

okay, here is a pic of me and my bike at our group's Toy Run in August. I had so many kewl things on that bike, maybe they're not too noticable to the non-motorcyclist; but I will point out my oh-so-kewl radiator cover; it is that shiny lattice-looking rectangular piece right behind my front tire; it had a pattern of flames and a skull with crossed wrenches on it

Vermont- that is a kick-booty cover! Awesome, beautiful bike! I can see why she was special.

No time, gotta go to work.