Hello everyone! Im 40 yrs old and in April I had a horrific shock that woke me up, since then I have lost 47 lbs! Yeah me! But I cant take all the credit it was alot of stress and nerves but now things are calming down and I cant seem to lose anymore, depression is setting in and I need help. I turned 40 in April also I was fat at 40 I would love to be fabulous at 41. I have 60 more llbs to lose!:

Welcome to 3FC! You've come to the right place for support and understanding.

What plan are you on? Calorie counting? Low Carb? Weight watchers? Whatever your plan there's an area here where you can talk to folks facing the same challenges. There's also a section for folks with extra challenges like depression. Explore around a bit and you'll find places that work the best for you.

I'm 52, started in February, and just this morning passed the half-way mark! If I can do it you can too!

Congratulations & welcome. I wish you the best of luck for the rest of your journey!!!!

Sensible eating and exercise are the way to go. Long term you're going to need to find a way you can eat and move that will be doable forever.

I'm glad life is a bit calmer now, that's definitely not a pleasant way to lose. Also, if you were under eating these past few months due to stress you may have lowered you metabolism but losing muscle. It can be overcome through working out and eating right though, so hang in there. You can do this!

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

Don't underestimate yourself. The "natural" tendency of calorie-restricted (dieting) and overweight people (and not just people, overweight lab animals too) is to eat during times of stress.

Are you sure that you don't deserve even MORE credit for losing weight during times of stress?

Regardless, it sounds like you're falling into black and white or extreme thinking and that can hurt you. Every pound matters, not just the last one. Instead of focusing on being "fabulous" some day, think of how fabulous you are NOW.

Don't lose weight to be something or someone different, lose weight to become a better you - one pound at a time.

Weight loss is important - but it's what "everyone" (and I mean all those everyones who fail) focuses on. We tend to ignore maintenance. From the very beginning, it's more important to keep off the pounds that are lost than to lose even just one more pound.

I'm NOT saying don't keep losing, I'm saying keep in perspective what an AMAZING acheivement keeping off the 47 pounds is (and when you make 48 pounds, what an incredible acheivement that is).

When you're on a ladder, they tell you don't look down to where you've come from, but to the top to where you're going. That's crappy advice for weight loss. Focus on the acheivements and what you need to do to keep them, and then use the remaining energy to try to climb just a little higher.

I'd also suggest you be careful about "deadlines" for weight loss. If you fall short, even my a few pounds, it can feel like failure rather than success.

Plan for feelings of failure - what is your strategy, your action plan? When you feel "what's the use," (and it's almost inevitable that you'll think that at some point - if not fequently) what are you going to do?

Plan for it, so that it can become instinctive - that when you get the first inkling of a negative thought, you have a positive thought to take it's place (and try to consciously spend four to five times as much time into the positive thoughts than the negative).

Prepare for all the negative thoughts

I can't do this.
What's the point?
It's just too hard.
This just isn't worth it.
I'm useless, and idiot......


I don't have to spell out all the thoughts - because you know them better than I do. Be your own best friend, parent, advocate... Prepare for the negative statements and talk yoursle out of those negative patterns. What would you tell your best friend if they felt that way? Be your own best friend.

Weight loss requires a lot of self-talk. You begin to feel like two people - but do NOT let yourself think of those two people as the "good one" and "the bad one," or the "smart one" and the "stupid" one. One just needs help, and the other can provide it. Make it teacher/student - not cop/criminal.

You ARE fabulous now, and a worthy human being even if you don't lose another pound (you were just as fabulous before you started losing). Use diet, exercise and weight loss as a way to pamper your wonderful, amazing self - not as a way to punish the "bad" you or to justify your worth - it needs no justification.

You can do this, if you don't fall into all the traps that have become "traditional." People don't fail at weight loss because there's something wrong with them - they fail because the pattern we've all been taught is ineffective. The act of frustration/surrender
has become a traditional component.

Forget most of what you've been taught about weight loss - "not giving up" may be the only "secret." It's not really a secret, but it's really hard to hang on to the feeling of and committment to success, because it's so typical to eventually let go. The urge can be very powerful. Knowing it's a "normal" feeling may be half the battle.

Welcome and good luck!

Dhani

Welcome to 3FC, we are glad you are here!

Hello and welcome to 3FC! It's great meeting you! I wish you the best of luck with your weight loss.