I totally understand your frustration! If you have a Lane Bryant in your area, you might wanna check them out.....I found that their "Blue" line has jeans that are smaller at the waist and bigger around the hips, butt and thighs, not to mention stomach!
Another idea is to buy the ones that fit you great everywhere and have them taken in by a tailor at the waist.
I hope you figure something out!
