Hi everyone! I've been here before, asking for advice and it seems I need some again. I just turned 21 yesterday and I should be happy during this time in my life, but I can pretty much say I hate myself. I'm one of those people that says I'll start my diet tomorrow, I'll go the gym tomorrow...tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. My question is, how did you guys know that when you decided to get up and lose the weight, it was different than all the other times before?

I'm just so frustrated with my weight. Though my mom tells me I'm not because then I would do something about it. I keep getting bigger and my clothes don't fit like they used to. I just don't believe that I could ever be thin and healthy. I can't imagine myself a size 6 or 8. To make matters worse, I have bad stretch marks on my stomach and arms. That makes me less motivated because I figure I won't even be able to show my body any way because of my skin.

I know that I probably sound like I'm making excuses, I think I'm just lazy and I don't want to do the work. I just really don't know what to do to change my mind once and for all to get healthy. So I guess if anybody has any encouraging words to share or advice that would be great. Maybe it'll stick with me this time around and get me going. Thank you!

What made me finally do it was a combination of things:
1. I couldn`t stand how I looked in pictures
2. My MD gave me my cholesterol number which was steadily creeping higher and higher from all the junk I was eating.

The photos told me I was getting too heavy and the MD confirmed it.

Plus the weight was making me feel really tired but I seemed to be getting more and more comfortable as I got heavier and honestly that really scared me because there seemed to be a disconnect from how me/myself/I viewed myself and how I appeared to others and what the MD`s numbers were saying.

About the stretch marks, you won`t be baring your stomach every day. Most of the time it will remain covered up under clothes.

Good luck with getting slimmer...just do it....for you.

Oh and ps....I decided it was time to focus on me a bit and to love myself.

We decided to try for a baby, and I realized that 1) my odds of a healthy conception/pregnancy/delivery would go way, way up if I lost weight and 2) I could be a much better mom if I could keep up with a child. So we put off the baby for a year (NOT EASY) and I focused on losing weight.

As far as the stretch marks go: when you are a size six, they will be a minor annoyance. Really. I promise.

I'm not going to even bother answering the original question. But I will say - DO THIS NOW!!! While you're young. Oh how I wish I would have. I started my *final* weight loss journey while I was double your age. It was the very best decision that I've ever made.

I can tell you this, adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden. None whatsoever. The burden, the hardship is REMAINING fat. Eating well and exercising is no prison sentence but a key to FREEDOM. It will open up more doors for you than you can possibly imagine, ones that you didn't even know were closed.

It probably seems restrictive to you, to adhere to a healthy lifestyle (it did to me) - but it's not. It's not!!! JUST THE OPPOSITE. The restrictiveness lies in being overweight. THAT is a restrictive life.

Stop settling for second best when first best is within your reach. You are robbing yourself of improved vitality, energy, stamina, productiveness, self esteem, self worth, self respect, self confidence, optimal health, choices.

You've got the ability to do this. You ARE capable of it. You DO have it in you. We all do. Why not you? Why not? WHY THE HECK NOT???

The hardest part is starting. Soooo, you've just got to suck it up and do it. You've got to suck it up and not give in. You've got to work past the initial, temporary discomfort of breaking your old bad eating habits and establishing the new ones. You can't give in. You just have to work through it. It's hard initially (but no where NEAR as hard as being fat), but once you get into it, I am CERTAIN you will find it's pretty darn - easy. Yes, easy. Once you get your foods down pat, once you get into the good eating routine and here's the thing - once those rewards start surfacing - it becomes ENJOYABLE and FUN. Yes - fun. But, you've got to GET to that point. You MUST hang on till the rewards outweigh what seems to be the sacrifices. And you'll get there. You WILL get there - and LOTS sooner than you think. Those rewards start surfacing waaaay before you hit your goal weight.

Raise your standards. Require more from yourself. Challenge yourself. Push yourself and push yourself. Beyond what you even think that you are capable of, so that you discover what you truly ARE capable of. Amaze yourself. Master a new skill. Conquer something new. Reach. Grow. Prosper. Discover who you were meant to be.

I decided to make a serious attempt to lose weight when I was a similar age to you, and to be honest, my age was quite a big factor in making me really stick to it. The majority of my weight loss was done when I was 21 years old, in 2007. I've not really thought much about my weight since then and just maintained what I got down to, but now I'm ready to start losing the last bit of weight.

This might sound quite vain, but I really didn't want to grow older and never have enjoyed my youth as a young, attractive and slim person. I'm 24 now, and whilst I'm not quite at my goal, I'm so much happier with my shape and size now, and I feel like I can actually enjoy a lot of things that other women my age enjoy, like being able to show off my body a bit (e.g., when it's really sunny outside, I can wear cute short skirts, or strappy vest tops, etc).

So for me, it was a question of whether I would prefer to lose weight in my twenties, or whether I would prefer to spend my twenties fat and miss out on being both really youthful and slim, and lose weight later in life, when it might be more challenging (both physically, but also in terms of other demands that I may have on my life when I'm older).

Of equal importance was that I felt like my weight was becoming a serious health issue, which I found utterly depressing, given that I am a young woman and shouldn't have problems like that. I am on the combined contraceptive pill, and when I go to get repeat prescriptions every six months, I get my blood pressure checked. When I was really heavy, my blood pressure was elevated, and that felt absolutely horrible, having a nurse say things like "did you run to the doctor's surgery?" when in fact, my BP was high because I was really fat, and normal walking made me quite tired. So lowering my blood pressure into a normal, healthy range was also a serious catalyst for being serious about losing weight.

With regards to your appearance when you lose weight, I'd be incredibly surprised if you notice things like stretch marks and whatnot. I had some on my stomach and upper arms, but they've faded massively (and are colourless now). You'd only notice them if you were looking for them, right up close! It doesn't bother me at all, I'm too busy enjoying being thinner!

The only thing I look back on with some regret is that I didn't start losing weight and enjoying my body sooner.

Don't start tomorrow. Start today. Start right this minute! I don't care if you had PopTarts for breakfast. Have a healthy lunch. Go for a walk.

Start right now!

What made this time different for me, what allowed me to break through my old barriers and get to my lowest adult weight, was that I got excited. I challenged myself to transform my body.

I will admit, The Biggest Loser was a huge inspiration to me. When Michael ran 5 miles in April? He weighed 387 pounds! So why I am stopping at 3?

I know it sounds cliche, but I also got excited about changing my lifestyle. Not going on a diet that I would go off as soon as I got to goal, but changing the way I live and eat. Exercise is not something I try to fit in -- it is the rock around which I schedule my day. I take time to make delicious food so I don't get bored of the same old lettuce with the same old "light" dressing.

i think an important part of "lifestyle change" instead of "diet" is that a slip-up didn't mean I'd "blown it" and I needed to "give up." So I went over my calories for the day? Big deal. Tomorrow, right back on plan (or better yet, plan minus 100 to make up for the day before). So I ate a donut? Big deal. I hadn't blown it for the day, I just needed to skip the rice at dinner and double down on the broccoli.

You say you don't want to do the work? Well... it's going to be work. But it's great work. It is work that has the power to make you feel good, feel great, every day. One of my motivational mantras is," I want to feel good every time I get dressed. I have to do it every day." Like I've said about childbirth, there's no over, under or around it -- there is only through it. But (as the beautiful boy on my lap can attest) it is worth it!

Think about it this way -- your body has so much potential. It can do great things. It can climb mountains or swim across lakes. It can do yoga poses we haven't yet imagined. It can bike up and down hills for hours. Release that potential. You will not regret it.

As for stretch marks? You can be fat with stretch marks or thin with stretch marks. Which sounds better?

Every single one of the comments above me ahs covered what I wanted to say.

What's different this time to any other time I've tried to lose weight (and theres been a fair few!)? I was unhappy. I hated coming home from uni 9 poudns heavier than when I left. I hated having to see my old classmates and be fatter than when they last saw me. I hated having to buy clothes in the largest size I've ever worn in my life. I hated feeling tired and sluggish. I hated that my sister in half my size. Basically: I hated being the fat one.

WHY is it working this time more than any other? Several factors. First of all, I realised I couldn't just DIET and be thin. I had to make a lifestyle change. Something I can keep going for the rest of my life. Secondly, I started exercising. I made it into a habit. I got up an hour early (past tense-I haven't been able to do that in the past few months because of my work schedule) and exercised for an our. Didn't matter what. Sometimes I felt like running, sometimes I danced, sometimes I did pilates...but SOMETHING.

Thirdly, I discovered 3FC. I talk to people who have the same problems as me. I talk to people hwo have the same Goals as me. I can read success stories of real women with real bodies who have done SO much more than I need to do, and I think: well why can't I do it too? So I am.

Oh, and the stretch-marks. Stretch marks appear when you lose/gain weight too quickly. Stretchmarks can also appear due to bad nutrition, lack of exercise, bad blood circulation...a whole host of reasons. I asked my doctor one day about them. She said there are two stages with stretchmarks: if they're white already, you're stuck with them (but they're nearly invisible then anyway so who cares). BUT. If they are still purple/red, it is REVERSIBLE. The younger you are when you try to lose weight, the easier it is to get rid of them. If you lose weight SLOWLY, start exercising, eat properly...it's possible they will go. I know the ones I had on my inner thighs have

Good luck!

My mom came to my apartment one day with a flier for a prescription medication for weight loss. She told me she and my dad where worried about my health. I remember thinking - why don't I at least TRY to lose a bit of weight before resorting to medication? (that first year in my apt. I don't think I ate ANY veggies at all)

The first thing I did was switch from white bread to wheat bread. When I got used to that, I switched one of my snacks each day for a piece of fruit. That was in 2001/2002. I lost 20 lbs that I have never ever gained back. I find doing one small step at a time is helpful for me. If I try to do everything all at once, it is too overwhelming.

Now, I eat so many veggies that my nails are growing better than they did on prenatal vitamins and I poop like a champ!

Rockin Robin is 110% right. Adhearing to a healthy eating plan is not restrictive. Having heart burn everyday (like I did) and not being able to do anything physical is restrictive.

I was 21 when I first started losing weight. I had stretchmarks - but they have faded and you can't hardly see them (I will be 32 this month - omg). The only ones that you can REALLY see are the ones my son blessed me with. But I am proud of those! I bet about 98% of the women on this forum have stretch marks. It is weird... but I kinda like that my body reflects things I have been through in life.

Ever hear this saying:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOOHOO - What a Ride!"


Start loving your body - give it the fuel it needs and the exercise it deserves!

I'm very much like that - I had a big weight loss from 260+ to 160 around 6 years ago. A few times I've crept up back up to around 200-210 and

I start feeling unhealthy and don't like how I look or things fit. I don't mind being zoftig so much as being unhealthy and being disproportionate - I have this thing about my backend being larger than my chest.

I so wish I could convince myself that eating healthy is easy like some have mentioned. Exercise is easy for me once I'm in a groove, but with a full time job and being a single mom it seems sometimes weight loss and healthy living become a consuming and cumbersome hobby that I just can't seem to make stick as a lifestyle. I always feel I'm forcing it, it is never something I want to do or feels good.

I can relate alot to what others have said.

I am a single mom that works full time and I have only recently learned that the only way to be a better mom is to take care of myself.

I have gained and lost the same 30 or 40 lbs for 20+ years. This time feels different to me because I am not looking at this as a diet. It's just the new way I have to eat. I can't eat what I want, when I want it. I have accepted the fact that I will need to be conscious of what I eat forever. But with that, I am trying to change my relationship with food. A quote that I keep close to me is "food is fuel, not a friend."

I am trying to work it so it works for me. So far so good. I wish all of you luck as well!

For me, my weight loss began when I started swimming. I've been overweight my whole life. Haven't been below 220 since I was in my teens and topped the scales at 274 about a year ago (at age 34) when I was considering weight loss surgery. I wanted to go through with it, but the expense stopped me in my tracks and I gave up. When I started exercising last month in the pool I was 263. Add in a little healthy competition with my brother to see how many laps we could do. (For the record, only a month ago I didn't think I could do three in a row!) Now, I'm up to a mile a day in the pool which takes me about an hour. A 1500-1800 cal a day diet has helped me get from 263 to 239 in about 30 days. I'm shocked and thrilled.

I love to swim, an hour in the pool burns a TON of calories if you do it right, and the best part... no sweating...or at least I don't know I'm sweating. lol When I first started I wasn't watching my calories at all, was eating a lot, and I still lost, which inspired me to start watching what I eat to see how much I could lose. Having so much fall off me so fast inspired me to be particular about what I eat. Don't get me wrong... I'm not a food ****... I had a ice cream cone last night. But, I do think twice now about what I eat and make a point to make healthier choices and stopped emotional eating since exercise is natures prozac. Another big helper was logging my calories in an ipod app to keep me really aware of what I'm taking in, but it can also be easily done on many online sites.

It definitely sucked the first week. I was sore and tired every day just trying to get to 15 laps, but now I'm stronger than ever, excited about how good I feel and look, and feel the kick start of exercising 5-6 days a week for atleast 45 minutes has really made a HUGE difference.

Good luck!

I didn't know. I know now because I've lost 52 pounds in 52 weeks and that's never happened before. I think you have to jump in not knowing, follow all the advice that's been given here, keep posting, read some books from the library (I recommend The End of Overeating By David Kessler and the books by Judith Beck), and anything that keeps you focused and energized and learning new things. You'll succeed if you don't quit.

For me it was a lot of things. My clothes didn't fit. I injured my back very badly, my joints hurt and my feet hurt. I found out I was pre-diabetic and also hypothyroid. I had acid reflux and my insurer wouldn't cover the drugs so I was paying $200 a month for Prevacid. I had trouble finding private health insurance when I changed jobs, because I was over the weight limit for most of them. Blue Cross has a max weight of 187 for my height, I was 225. When I did find an insurer, I got hit with pre-existing clauses and extra costs just because of my weight. I felt like crap. I looked like crap. I was tired all the time. I finally realized that a lot of it was because I was overweight, and since I was already having to make lifestyle changes in order to treat my thyroid I decided to do it all the way and start treating my obesity also.

I can so relate to all the previous posts. What finally got me to want to do it ... I thought why the heck NOT?! I've got grandkids I want to be around for. I hated the way I looked ... sometimes when I say myself in photos, I couldn't believe it was me and about 4 months ago, I started feeling "comfortable" in this excess weight. Thinking well, this is who I am and I might as well get used to it ... WRONG!

For the HMW Decision Free diet, I needed a lot of bloodwork done. I knew I have a sluggish thyroid, my cholestrol is good, I always said I was chubby, but healthy ... but a new thing popped up w/ the latest labs -- borderline diabetic. Now that's a HUGE incentive for me to just do it!

Thanks for all the support. I love this forum and so glad I found it. By the way, joygardener, I hail from St Louis, MO. GO CARDS!

I'm just gonna do it.

Honestly, I don't know. I was truly miserable and kept putting on a lot of weight in a very short period of time (I'm a yo-yo with my weight). I felt like if I don't stop, someone will seriously have to pull me out of the house using a forklift. I'm a food addict.

Write down what you eat. Start keeping a food journal. Write it down before you eat it. Find a program you can live with. How about making one change at a time? Start with breakfast....then you're off to a great start! Sometimes, you have to go through the motions of what you don't want to do before things start to sink in. It will be hard at first. Just tell yourself you will have one good day. Just one good day. When a certain food will be calling your name and you will tell yourself that you will start tomorrow....shut them up! Tell them that you will have one good day TODAY. Once you have one good day, you can have another and another.

Think about it....in 1 years time, you can be where you want to be or stay where you are (or worse). Might as well have a lot of good years to come where you feel GOOD about yourself. Don't deprive yourself of the life you deserve. I agree with everything that was said here. Just put one foot in front of the other....stay here and you'll get TONS of info and support.

Hope to hear good things from you! You can do this! Go for it!!!