Ticking time bomb

  • I havent binged in 4 weeks now. Not since I started my new diet and Im so motivated and been so good. Except for the past 3 days... you know that feeling you get when you KNOW a binge is coming and you try to resist it and everyday something inside you is getting tighter and tighter and you know its going to snap and then there is no control and no limits and 3 hours later, you are lying on the sofa full of remorese? Well thats me now! Today i suddenly had this vision of me shoving cupcakes in my mouth and it was so real, I could TASTE the freakin' cupcakes!

    I dont want to binge! I have this mantra that I tell myself that the only person who is oging to put food in my mouth is me and it used to work. my "thin" future self vision used to work but now they dont. I am so obsessed by food that I keep coming up with reasons why I should cheat. eg. ive been on protein too long I should carb up so my body doenst get used to the diet, I can binge but then go on pure protein day and it wont matter etc.

    The only thing thats working right now is that I weigh myself everyday and the scale goes down everyday. I am terrified that if one of these days the scale hasnt mve or gone up, that will be the trigger for my binge. I feel so scared and out of control and so incredibly tense and unhappy and I dont know what to do or how to stop it. I dont know who to talk to who understands and I thank god everyday that I found this forum because otherwise, my life would completely suck!!
  • hang in there.

    it sounds like you've been doing such a great job. giving in to the binge will not make you feel better. maybe try to add extra veggies, to try to get more fullness (or some whole grains if you're able to eat those without triggering a binge), and drink lots of water.

    maybe try to do some things that might relax you, deep breathing, a hot bubble bath, get a pedicure or massage, or hard core exercise. something to release the building tension that's turning into panic. i know it's hard, i go through it often too.

    but remind yourself how well you're doing, and try to lead your mind away from the binge thought patterns. maybe go window shopping, see a movie, something you enjoy to help get you though this. you can do this! good luck!
  • Lol, I'm going through that right now, so I can imagine exactly what you're going through =), Earlier today I pictured myself eating a brownie, and a donut, and who know what else my crazy mind made up in an effort to get me to ditch the diet i'm on now.

    However I closed my eyes and kept thinking of those 4 specific tops I'm trying sooooooo hard to get into, and the fact that I'll go absolutely insane if I go up even 1 pound when I weigh myself, because I'm doing the same exact thing you're doing right now.

    I'm weighing myself everyday, and I'm watching the scale numbers go down, but sooo slowly. It does drive one insane. But I keep telling myself that at least its going down and not up or stuck, which means I must be doing something right.

    And also, I keep picturing those tops, and how badly I want to wear them soon, and how badly I keep picturing myself in specific outfits if I lose the weight. So far its been working pretty well, I'm on day 8 now going onto 9, and lost 4 pounds so far. Sheer willpower is what's keeping me going.

    So don't lose hope, and don't give in, I know how hard it is. I've been down that road sooo many times. Yet this time I refuse refuse to give up, so don't you do the same, you'll regret it later, so don't give up you hear me? =)

    You're definitely not alone, and if you want to chat or talk to me feel free! Maybe we can support each other =D