**Warning!! This is a Long One** 
My diet had started out great, 2010 look like it was going to be a wonderful year. The end of April came and things started to fall apart. I live in Seattle and my family lives 4 hours away in Spokane. Since I have a fairly large dog we drive over. I spent more time in Spokane in the last month and a half than I did at my Job and Apartment in Seattle. Here's how my Month went:
May 1st my grandfather was admitted to the hospital and had to have a Quadruple bypass. His surgery went very well and he was released on the 18th of May.
Trip #1 to Spokane May 5th - May 11th.
Trip #2 was planned May 21st - 24th. - Planned because my grandfather and I have the same birthday (May 26th) and we enjoy celebrating it together.
My Grandmother was admitted to the hospital on the 23rd, she too had to have a bypass. Her surgery went good, but upon removal of the balloon apparatus that was used assist her weak heart, there was some internal bleeding. Before they could even repair the artery, she went into cardiac arrest. After an hour of CPR she was pronounced dead on the operating table on Sunday May 30th.
Trip #3 May 31st - June 6th. Memorial on June 5th and Internment June 6th before my 4 hour drive home.
I know I should feel grateful that I had the opportunity to know my grandmother, but I am very close to my grandparents and have been taking her loss extremely hard. I spoke with her just days before her death telling her "You're gonna get better!" and hearing her say "Yes, I'm gonna get better!" I wasn't there when she died, I know I couldn't have helped but I wasn't there for my mother and my grandfather.
With all the stress, illness and loss that I've been dealing with I've been doing more than my fair share of grief eating. I eat when I'm not hungry; I eat when I am and when I got home from this last emotionally and physically exhausting trip I stepped on the scale... I was upset by what I saw, but not shocked, 220.
Determined to get back in my routine I went to the gym yesterday on my lunch break. I found myself staring into space and weeping quietly. I did not push myself nearly as hard as usual and only did a brief 20 minute cardio work out and followed that by downing a "hunger grab" bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a PB Twix. In Spokane I ate even worse. I downed a 1/2 Gallon of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream in two days! I was the only one eating it!! I have not been sleeping well. Though I sleep through the night I still wake up exhausted!! I need suggestions on how to deal with my grief in a POSITIVE way!! Your comments and suggestions are much appreciated.
Thank you for making it to the end as well!
P.S. The pic is of my Grandma and Me.. when I was little of course!

Big hug.