It's a challenge to remain patient and focused on the bigger picture when I feel that just being ME is a health hazard!
I keep telling myself that this is a journey, that I must be patient, work towards my goals and that each good choice I make is a step towards a healthier me.
I just can't shake the feeling that being me is a health crisis though...I weigh 300 pounds. My poor organs are working so hard to support a system that is not balanced.
I have a difficult time not fixating on the things that could go wrong with my health just because I am so fat and my system is burdened.
I am working on my anxiety with a therapist, I am addressing my health issues (fibromyalgia, migraines, chronic pain and anemia) and working to eat the healthiest plant based diet possible while exercising regularly. I'm losing weight slowly but surely, but I just can't shake the feeling that something is WRONG with me, that something bad is just around the corner.
I feel anxious and worried...it's like every time I see how fat I am, I can't stop thinking about the health risks of being this overweight. Every pain, ache, muscle twitch or new symptom produces anxiety and turns into a potentially catastrophic disease or condition in my mind.

This wears me out. I'm scared. I'm tired of this.


I don't consume caffeine at all, eliminated that a long time ago as it's definitely a trigger!
