Location: Ireland - The green green grass and the grey grey skies
Posts: 374
Height: 5ft 11"
Dunno whats wrong with me, I just feel so ugly all the time...
I know im being stupid but i just always feel so ugly... when i sit down i never stop obsessing about my gut and it really depresses me... I havent weighed myself in absolutely ages and ive fallen off the wagon a bit this week.... on top of that, i just feel so down all the time... for no reason... apart from me being jealous of everyone else being so thin. Is there something wrong with me.. i cant shake the feeling that im still fat, i dont even know how to class yourself as fat. i mean, i dont think you could tell i was carrying much weight when im standing but i always have it in the back of my head that im still fat becuase ive lived my entire life feeling this way... people HAVE noticed and people on here have been complimenting away but i stil cant shake the feeling that im fat and unattractive and i make myself crazy comparing myself to others...
edit: whats the best way to recover from a day of binge eating, eat less the day after, eat normall the day after, do loads of exercise the day after?
Well, some of this is fairly normal - most people who have lost weight take a little while for the brain to catch up with the eyes, and end up seeing themselves as larger for a while after they've become smaller.
That being said, you might want to consider talking about this with a professional. There is a pretty fine line between normal brain-catching-up-to-eyes and serious body image issues, like BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). Talking to someone couldn't hurt - either reassure you that what you're feeling is normal, or start you toward resolving any issues you might have.
Also, in terms of falling off the wagon and being afraid of the scale, please try to remember that it wasn't one bad week or one bad meal that put weight on in the first place, and it won't put it back on again, either. It took me several months to move past the mentality of "If I eat one off-plan meal, its ALLLL going to come back"...the shift should come in time. But I'd suggest getting RIGHT back on plan (and on the scale) before a short slip becomes a long term habit again.
Last edited by mandalinn82; 10-03-2007 at 08:22 PM.
Reason: typo
I think this is something that is more complex than just dieting alone. You need to get a grasp of who you ARE. i think if you're still disgusted with yourself, perhaps its not a problem with your diet, maybe you just need to reform HOW you think of you.
I used to hate my legs. Sometimes I see them in the mirror and still hate them. But why shoud I, I think again- why do I hate them? Because the shins are a tad bit chunky? Yeah.. but then i try to think of all the positive things about my legs.
1) they can run miles, cycle miles and do all sorts of things
2) At least I HAVE 2 legs, some people missing limbs would tell me, what are you complaining about?
and then
3) What is the function of my legs? They are a means of locomotion, a physical mechanical work component of the human body. They get me from point A to B. That already suffices. I walk faster than most people. That's even better!
Of course my legs can't walk runways, of course my legs won't get a Nair commercial, but they are good to me in so many ways. And thats what I remind myself each time I find myself "disgusted" with them, only to find that theyre just absolutely perfect for me. Bottom line: It's just some thought process within you. I agree with Mandalinn- if its a problem perhaps you should really speak to a professional that uncovers it.
Last edited by veggielover; 10-03-2007 at 08:08 PM.
i second what manddalin says...definately go talk to someone. It may be your just not seeing the "real" you yet...or you may have poor self image. i think it help talking to someone. Also as for the binge eating..i jsut recommend ignoring it happened and start over, don't starve yourself, don't exercise the **** out of your body. Go about your normal day. Your body will help settle itself back out.
Location: Ireland - The green green grass and the grey grey skies
Posts: 374
Height: 5ft 11"
no becuase sometimes i actually feel really good about myself and then sometimes i just start feeling down and just feel ugly and fat... i wish my friends knew how i feel. everyone thinks im perfect and never feel down becuase that is how i act
I think most people feel the way you do sometime, you are brave to share those feelings and ask about them so you can get them sorted. Good for you. I believe the feeling of "ugliness" comes to us when we compare ourselves with others, and our mind is very powerful, that our thoughts become our truth, so once you start thinking good things about yourself, you will see yourself differently. But, and I hope this doesn't sound too cheeky, to my eyes you look very handsome.
Location: Ireland - The green green grass and the grey grey skies
Posts: 374
Height: 5ft 11"
Quote:
Originally Posted by lacaracola
I think most people feel the way you do sometime, you are brave to share those feelings and ask about them so you can get them sorted. Good for you. I believe the feeling of "ugliness" comes to us when we compare ourselves with others, and our mind is very powerful, that our thoughts become our truth, so once you start thinking good things about yourself, you will see yourself differently. But, and I hope this doesn't sound too cheeky, to my eyes you look very handsome.
I like my photos that i posted but i just feel that i dont look like that in real life...
You seem to have problems with your self-esteem and I think you need to work on this. As veggielover says focus on the positive things about you and not the negative. You've got lovely blue-eyes and clear skin that I bet is the envy of many of those that you compare yourself to. You have an approachable friendly face. If after thinking about the positive things in your life you still can't shake the negative feeling about yourself, then perhaps it is time to seek professional help.
low self esteem = feeling bad = eating more =getting fatter = feeling uglier = lower self esteem...
Thats why you've got to tackle this problem NOW!
Having said that, I have the same problem sometimes. I think I'm fat and ugly. Although recently, I've found that making an effort to dress nicely, spending more quality time with other people and similar stuff helps me feel better.
Professional help ie counselling didn't help me/a few others I know. I'd say try it, be honest with them, but expect no miracles...YOU have to change YOU, and I believe a person who really wants to change will do it regardless of them paying £40/hour or not to have someone listen to them. You can talk and pay all you want, but if you have no underlying intention of changing, you simply won't.
I understand completely. It's actually pretty natural to still feel like a fatty even after weight loss. I'm not sure if professional help is the answer, though perhaps a bit of counseling could help your self esteem.
I think a large chunk of the population secretly suffers from BDD.
Don't think of it as recovering from binge eating - just go through your next day as you normally would on plan. Just like with a good performance, pretend that you never messed up in the first place and get right back with it.
Everyone's said everything I could about how you're feeling.
About the "binge" day, I agree with Nightengale. Deep breath, get right back on plan. It's when people start drastically taking calories away or running 12 marathons to "make up" for the day before that it turns into a bad habit cycle of binging one day, eating nothing the next, wash rinse repeat.
Location: Ireland - The green green grass and the grey grey skies
Posts: 374
Height: 5ft 11"
aww thanks everyone. im in a muccchhh better mood now. i feel much better now and dont feel ugly :P I think i was just having a bad week for some reason..
I like my photos that i posted but i just feel that i dont look like that in real life...
i hear ya on that!!! This photo in my signature...i just don't feel like I look like that. I know it's me...but do i look like that now?? I don't think so. I think each day, I have a different look. I don't know who i am or what i look like anymore. Such a confusing time for us. I think you are gorgeous. If you were maybe 10 years older and living in america...i'd be all over you like white on rice. (yeah..i'm a bit of a flirt too Beach Patrol. I get in trouble at work all the time for it!!!)
And I agree with the comparison comment. When it is just me...i feel hot. But when one of the younger sales girls walk by...i feel old and fat. We just have to be careful not to compare ourselves to others. We are us....and never will we be them. And maybe there is something about us that they envy. Like your beautiful blue eyes!!!
And I agree with the comparison comment. When it is just me...i feel hot. But when one of the younger sales girls walk by...i feel old and fat. We just have to be careful not to compare ourselves to others. We are us....and never will we be them. And maybe there is something about us that they envy. Like your beautiful blue eyes!!!
I'm glad you are feeling better!!!
Amen to that!
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I probably developed my own style to stop comparing myself to other girls. I used to have a conventional, girl-next-door type look: long bottle blonde hair, a fake tan, preppy clothes. While I thought I was hot, I thought others were hotter, and I didn't like it.
Sometimes, I still see these conventionally beautiful girls walking by and thought (still sometimes DO think), "Daaaang. She's way hotter than I am. Everyone finds her hot, and I'm just... not. I'll never be that hot. Perfect bh." Yet I've had these conventionally beautiful girls compliment me endlessly and tell me they wish they had the courage to pull off my look.
lumifan, you may feel ugly next to these sales chicks, but younger does not automatically equal hotter. You're not even OLD!
And Mark, I second the big, beautiful eyes comments. YOU should NEVER feel ugly. I don't know why you do... you are a handsome, beautiful man!
Dunno whats wrong with me, I just feel so ugly all the time...
)
h." Yet I've had these conventionally beautiful girls compliment me endlessly and tell me they wish they had the courage to pull off my look.