Hi guys- i'm new to the featherweights section of 3FC, and have recently rejoined after a break (read- binge!)

I am currently living in London as a two year working holiday from Australia, and as happens to many people while they are travelling, my will to say no has deminished somewhat and I have put on weight since moving here a year ago.

I eat more and more often and drink every day, as my life here is more social (I'm only going to be living it up in London once, right!?)

The thing I hear so often when starting up a new routine is "but Meels you don't need to go on a diet" which I find really frustrating. These people saying this don't know what my healthy and confident weight is and don't understand that what they are saying is really unsupportive.

Just because i'm not 300 pounds doesn't mean I don't have issues with saying no- i'm 24 and all too aware that if I just let these habits stay the way they are, then 300 lbs is where i'm headed.

I'm also concious of the drinking every day (not alot, just one with dinner to clarify) as not only is it extra empty calories, my father is an alcoholic and I most certainly don't want to head down that road.

Does anyone else suffer with this?
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get rid of this unsupportive (yet well meaning) kind of conversation?
I want to bring self control back!

I would definately say that you're not alone on going through this. I've learned to just completely avoid the word "diet". People think differently when you say you're making healthier choices.
I'm 27 and I like the social scene too which means going out with friends for drinks, so I've had to make some changes in order to do that. I'll give you an idea of what my choices were this past Saturday when out celebrating a friend's bachelorette.
We went to The Keg (Steakhouse). I got the Ahi Tuna grilled rare and substituted the side of rice with a side of asparagus and mushrooms. Better choice than a giant steak with a double baked potato side.
For drinks, I stuck with vodka with club soda and a wedge of lime. Think of the difference in calories if I were to have cocktails or drinks. Trust me, we were drinking for hours. It would have been hundreds/thousands of extra calories the other way. lol
When everyone else wanted their 4am food fix, I said no and somehow was able to distract them enough to not do it.

So ya, you can still have a social life. Just don't say "diet", no one will notice unless you bring attention to it. Make healthier decisions when out being a part of everything. And of course it helps to cut it out in between the booze runs and make sure you are getting activity every day. Can't live the social scene every waking moment.

Good luck don't say diet.

It's interesting that you say "making healthier choices" as I often get comments from people at work saying my lunch is "so healthy" ... I actually really enjoy healthy foods and choose them majority of the time. It's the lashing out I have problems with- the 3pm vending machine run or tea and biscuit time (I work in an office, you can probably guess!) that really gets me and I over indulge.

If I can cut these things out without people questioning them or bringing up those dreaded words, my "diet" (as in, what I eat, not "a diet") would actually be OK!

I think others don't realise the effects that the little daily treats have and that they build up... I am really concious of it but am made to feel weird or like i'm doing something I don't need to for being that way.

PS

...Why not? :P

LoL Good point.

And in regards to people's comments, I got them ALL THE TIME as I was approaching my wedding because I work in an office too and am constantly turning down the danishes, the timbits, the muffins, the pizza, more pizza.... My excuse at that point is that I wanted to fit in a little white dress. They're so used to it now though that I don't get harrassed nearly as much. I just ignore as I walk by the little treats on route to where I'm boiling water for my green tea. And I'm still getting the "you're always eating so healthy.". Yep, yes I am.

As for the treats that add up, it doesn't take nearly as much willpower to turn them down if you've already prepared the day with your own snacks. Every day I bring an arsenal of snacks with me like yogurt, fruit, cheese, almonds, veggies, etc. I have no need for the junk in the machine or treats left on the lunchroom table because in addition to my own snacks, I drink lots and lots of water and tea.

It's all a learning process. Some things work, others don't. Gotta find your groove. Just know that you're not alone in this because I'm in Canada and it seems people in London are exactly the same as the ones here.

I sympathize. I would suggest fitting a major cardio routine 5 days out of the week into your life!

Also, you can simply look around London and see that all the little treats are making the brits quite large! (I am not singling them out, I am from america where there are many large people and I am living in germany, where many people are also quite large).

One interesting thing I read recently, and I don't know how true it is - is a study showing how simply eating, when there are NO real hunger pains, is a cause of disease. I won't go into details, but I read that you have to wait for the real hunger to happen as that is your bodies way of preparing itself for the digestive process.

This little idea has successfully kept me away from unnecessary snacking (you said the 3pm vending machine was tempting)... Again, I do not know how true it is. But, perhaps just imagine tomorrow at 3pm, that if you eat with the others when you are not *really* hungry could be conditioning your body for health problems down the road.

I feel like, in germany, they are ALWAYS having little coffee breaks and drinking alcohol with every meal. I sympathize entirely!

preppingbride - your avatar is the cutist thing on 4 legs.

meelsie - i live in aus, but orig from UK. I'll just send my sympathy cos the pub scene in england is good. You only live once and all those cliche's so i say enjoy your travels right now FIRST, cos you only live once, but just try to be moderate if you can. Or my real advice would be to take up running!!! Or something you enjoy. Offset the calories with exercise.......

Meelsie,

The whole "you don't have to diet," or "but you don't need to lose weight" is the whole reason I am on 3FC.

That's what friends say. Yes, I think if I were 300 lbs, my friends would absolutely say, "Yes, you need to get healthy. How can we help get you on track?" But when it's a smaller amount to lose, most people go with the more-socially-acceptable, "But you look fine!"

I came to 3FC because this community of people, all in the same boat, would be here to support my change and not help me continue a not-where-I-want-to-be lifestyle. The only friend I talk to about what I am doing is a dear old friend who is also trying to lose weight.

So what I say is, if you want to lose a few lbs, or kgs , however you measure (are we americans the only people not on the metric system?), this is the place to come. Here, you can talk about it all you want without anyone poo-pooing you. Leave that to your face-to-face friends.

On a practical level, you might try calorie counting even just for a week or two. I've just started, and when you see the impact of some of your choices, it helps you decide what sacrifices you are willing to make. Calorie counting doesn't mean giving everything up (which is what it feared) -- it helps you make smart choices.

As far as the drinking issue, I have been there, both myself and with a dear friend. The face that you have voiced the concern says something all by itself. I am no expert, but my personal practice when I feel I am drinking too much or too often is to set a concrete goal and see if I can meet it. It does not have to be strict. (mine might be no drinks for a month, or drinking on weekends only, or drinking on weekends only if my husband is having a drink too - very rare). You say you are only having 1 drink with dinner, so maybe you decide, "I will only drink Thurs, Fri and Saturday for one month." At the end of the month, re-evaluate. Could you do it? Does it still feel like too much? Did you make up for fewer nights with more drinks per night? My feeling is, if I can't meet my goal, I have to think about giving up drinking altogether. That is always enough to keep me on goal. But it is easier for me. I am an old married woman living in the suburbs.

Which is all to say, welcome back to 3FC -- we are here for you!

I hate hearing this!!! I am 121, and 5'4". My goal is not to be a stick, it's to be healthy and feel good! It's not just about weight loss for me, it's more about being comfortable in my skin. I use weight as one of the many ways to measure my progress. People always get so upset when the word diet comes up! I try to use words like "Program" or "Plan" but somehow it always comes back to "Diet" and people go on and on how i don't need to change. frustration!

bonnnie- it was when i was travelling in Germany that I decided to do a week without alcohol once I got back. All that beer did nothing for my waistline and made my skin break out!

That was 6 months ago!

It's this loss of control that worries me. Yes i'm young and i'm not overweight or obese but I'm all too aware that these "can't say no" habits lead down that path.

I travelled with my Mum and a family friend, Hazel, who is very overweight through Germany over Xmas. My Mum hadn't seen me for 6 months and I told her about my eating patterns etc (when I first moved to the UK I lived on baked beans for a while because I was so broke!) She told me that Hazel was my size at my age, and that this was something that happened over time. That really got to me as Hazel herself had probably heard the same at her age, the "you don't need to diet" and "you're fine the way you are"-s.

It all starts somewhere!

Oh I completely get that.
I live in a shared house at the moment and I'm kind of wary from two sides. One of my friends who is 5 9 and about 160 pounds (abt I'm not sure) and another who is 5'3 and 118.

Because for my diet I have been home preparing all my foods, I can't really hide it from them that I'm dieting. I could try and be like, 'hmmm chick peas, yummy' but I don't think they'd buy it.

The first girl is very beautiful and healthy, but she just has a very curvaceous figure (that is not a euphemism for being large, she just has huge breasts and hips and the teeniest tiniest little waist) and by accident is the heaviest by far of our friends. We're in this weird kind of sorority which is chosen by looks amongst other things (looong story) but I think that it has upset her a little bit that I am trying to lose weight when I was perfectly fine before.
The second girl is a model, but is also borderline psycho about her appearance. Works out a lot etc. If she put her mind to it she would be and wants to be under weight. And now I am only 6 pounds more than her and 2 inches taller, I'm worried that I might set her off.

I have come up for two really good reasons if people try to give me stick about losing weight.
The obvious one - for summer/bikini body
The resourceful one - some of my old clothes are back in fashion and I'm going to fit in them again/I can't afford new clothes so I'm going to have old new clothes.

Good one! Everyone knows how broke I am so this one will be perfect!

I use the 'clothes' excuse too. But actually mean it. I gain all my weight in my tummy and that's exactly where pants and skirts don't stretch...

-- It's good to be back on 3FC! I stopped posting for the longest time when I approached goal weight and then holidays happened... time to get back in the groove, get off these last 7 lbs of fat and tone up with a bit more muscle. I *will* have a bikini body before summer is out.

What rrrrrreally irked me at my slimmest was comments about how I didn't have to exercise or eat healthy because I was so thin. How on earth did they think I got this way??

I hear this all of the time and I absolutely hate it!! I know 20lbs isn't much for weight loss to some people, but it's a huge thing for me!

I hate when people observe what I'm eating and mention something about it. My boss told me that I was eating "air and pocket lint" one time. It's bad enough that I'm trying to get over being guilty about everything I eat, the comments don't help!

Even when I was at 160 and barely fitting into any of my clothes, people were like "you look fine! please don't diet, you're fine". Try living in my shoes for a day, you'll understand why I want to be healthier!

The fact that alcohol is so bad calorie wise has really turned me away from having drinks now and then, unless I know for sure how many calories are in the drink.