Quote:
Originally Posted by stillwagontsl
I'm currently in a friendship type of relationship with a former lover. The friendship wasn't my choice...it's just something that evolved over a period of time. It's strange, especially on those days when I remember what we shared and what I wanted from him (marriage). I do have those moments of nostalgia that haunt me. I always tell myself that it's a choice. I can either have him in my life, maybe not as I want him, or I can NOT have him.
The best thing you can do, I think, is set up ground rules.
Thank you. I really like this quote.
I do feel that I can be friends with him, because I am able to clearly see our differences and why things may not have worked out marriage wise. In other relationships, I don't think I would have been able to stay as just friends because it would have been that constant longing. With my current ex, I love him on a very deep level----a more humanistic level? In any case, I am able to see our differences and our communication problems, and also how if they did not change, then it would have not been a great relationship long term.
I want him to be happy, and he wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy even if it isn't with me. I am able to see my faults and also understand that we both may need different things in a relationship or in a partner.
It is hard at times when I am having those nostalgic feelings and worried about being alone. When he texts me to see how I am doing, and shows care, that is the hard parts, at times, because very few people I was with romantically really cared about me.
I feel silly because I do have exes that I miss, but they were so disrespectful and uncaring and just made me feel worthless. Why would I focus only on their positives, and not their negatives, and miss them? Why do I do that to myself?