Please know that of course they love you. Children don't always have the social graces to say things in a way that disguises the meaning.

This is an opportunity for you to learn how to feed yourself well and to feed your children well so they can grow up and have a healthy relationship with food.

You ARE NOT ALONE!

First, it doesn't take much if any longer to cook good food than it does to fix junk. And you have built in exercise equipment right there at home. Get active with those kids of yours. Little by little. You can't snap your fingrs and make it disappear, but you CAN talk to your kids about it and tell them how you are going to get healthier and how you can all work on it together.

It will be okay. You need a chance to calm down and think of a plan and then work towards a goal. Maybe just 10 lbs for now, or walking twice a week. Be patient and kind to yourself. And come here and post when you need support. We are here for you!

HUGS!

Barb

I remember when my daughter and a friend told me I was fat. They are kids, and to them it's just as innocent as saying I'm blond, or I wear glasses, or I'm tall.

I took it in stride. It is what it is. So what?

When you are ready to change it, you can! That's the great thing about fitness -- any time you are ready to do it, you CAN !

Break it down into smaller steps and don't feel like you have to do it all in one go.

What do you feel up to tackling? Maybe just no changes at all but start writing it down in a food log?

A.

Do they hear you talk about your weight and dieting? That could be where it comes from. Kids that young don't often have any emotional thoughts one way or the other about fat, except what they've heard.

Awww! Your post made me tear up. I can totally relate! I had to explain to my 6 year old that we don't call people "fat." The good thing is that this is your beginning point. A lot of us count calories. We use a site called fitday. If you don't know where to start, try loggin onto there and get an idea of how much you should be eating. Start a food journal and count your calories. It is going to take a little bit of your time to start. Once you have a better idea of how many cals are in foods that you eat frequently, it will get easier. I am going to come back and see if you posted here tomorrow. I hope you have.
-Mel.

I am so sorry that has happened to you. My cousin once said i was fat on my grad day i nearly died im sure millions of people have been right where you are..

You have a support systems Everyone on here has been/is in the same sit. with their weight and health thats why where here! We will be your support system as will your kids!

You can start to eat differently and change your lifestyles.. my personal opinion is that diets dont work! you need to overhaul your life dont like change it.. its hard i know but just think of how good you'll feel doing it..

You could slowly change the way you eat... say add more veggies or instead of fast food.. get your kids involved and cook together get them helping so its a family affair...

dont give up.. if you keep your eyes on the sun you wont see the shadows

Good luck

Stay motivated, focused and comitted to your goals. As for your girls, they love you NO MATTER WHAT- I promise.

That made me tear up. I can remember being young and asking my mom why she was fat. So I think it is just because children don't understand how hurtful it can be. I think you should talk to them about it just so they know it's not polite to call people fat.

You can lose weight. There are a lot of resources and amazing people on this forum. Good luck!

thank you guys. i know they are too young to really understand how hurtful it can be to call someone fat. they are just kids, it just stung to hear them say it.
i am going to work on a plan today and go to fitday and look around. i have done calorie counting before and it seemed to helped, just need to work on finding the time to get more exercise in other then a walk for 20 min on my lunch at work.
your support means a lot since i have no one here to support me.
my husband is and always will be a skinny guy. he really doesnt' understand and just tells me he loves me no matter what. plus we only see each other on the weekends so he can't stop me from eating like crap all week. i need to get my head in this and just get it done.
thanks again

I think everyone else chimed in really well on the kid issue, so I will skip and address your last post regarding "finding the time."

This was a BIG problem for me. I thought my reasons for not having time were really valid reasons. Nope. I found ways to exercise and started challenging my thinking. It's not all black and white. If I can't find 2 hrs to exercise a day, I still can start on a program. Your 20 minute walk sounds like a PERFECT place to start. Don't wait to start until you can find more time than that. It might not happen. Your body is 80% nutrition, 10% exercise and 10% genes. Start "now." Every choice you make throughout your day is a part of the plan. What am I going to eat for lunch, snack, dinner? What am I going to do on my lunch break? Ooh those cupcakes look good - nope, don't eat those. I'd really like a glass of wine and a cheese plate to end my stressful day, I deserve it - that's a choice too. Start thinking in ways of "How can I get this to happen?" rather than in ways of "I wish I could do that, but ___." You'll find when you switch your focus, things start to fall into place.

I am sending so many hugs and encouragement! I can't wait to see your progress!

Just by coming here you are already making a difference! I thought I didn't have the time or resources to start. I'm not into exercising but I started walking in my neighborhood with my son. Now he keeps me accountable because he won't leave me alone until I take him for a walk. I also bought some resistance bands and do a short work out at home. The most it takes is 10 minutes. You can find tons of videos on youtube to show you how to do it. Also look for recipes online, there are lots on this forum too. Take it one day at a time and you'll achieve your goal.

Oh and it's not just kids that call you fat. My 80 year old uncle told me that I've always been so fat. I think all of us on this forum have experienced something similar and can completely relate to you. We'll pull through this together.

Well shucks.. I had a super long post all typed out and went to post it, something went wrong and it vanished.. Argghhhh


you've take the first step which is realizing you need to do something. Most importantly at this early stage for you is to PLAN. Make a plan of what you are going to do, calorie count, etc. etc and stick to it. And remember that messing up is only messing up once, don't let it throw you completely off course. Climb back up on the wagon.

Hang around with us, get support here, you'll learn alot and you will make new friends too.

I will echo 100% what Mel said. If you cannot find the time, you will not find the time. Since I'm a relieving teacher, I need to find time before or after school to workout. After school is out completely, otherwise, I'll be doing cardio for 3 hours (an hour at the gym and 2 hours worth of karate classes three times a week). That only leaves before school. I'm up at 6am, having a run or weight train session at 7am, finish at 8am and go to school for 9am when we start. But I am determined to get my 5 sessions per week at the gym and if I have to go to bed a little earlier, then I'll go to bed a little earlier.

The committment is the hardest part. The rest is less hard (not easy, just less hard). You didn't gain all that weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. A little time and a little (okay, a lot) of patience.

Over here in New Zealand, they're recommending exercise "snacks" for people who can't find an hour, but can find 15 minutes here and there. 20 minutes three times a day; 10 minutes 6 times a day- whatever works for you.

Good luck and stick with it!! You can do it. Believe in yourself.

*nods* @ everyone's posts.

It takes 1 month for something to become a habit. So start making the changes and stick to it for a month. After that it will get easier. Do you have a desk job? You could get a stability ball to use instead of a chair. Doing crunches on one of those is a heck of a workout too. You could youtube videos on other exercises you could do with it.

Let us know how your planning is going.

Man o man....... U r in the right place! Soon ur kids will be ur biggest Cheerleaders! I know this cuz my 12 n 15 year olds r mine....
Sending positive vibes ur way!