So, I just came back on this site, and had to change my ticker... it said "202/154/148"... now i weigh 215, was 220 earlier this week. I've been through this so many times. I have had disordered eating for as long as i can remember, and sadly this happened through a sort of recovery, in a way. Last summer i was really really ill, pretty much bed confined. Just as I was able to start functioning again, I got sicker and had to have two emergency surgeries, and was knocked down again. Not only was i not allowed to work out at all the whole time, but I also was miserably depressed, and ate pretty much non-stop, as that was all there was for me to do. Now I've started eating healthier, working out three times a week, and am still gaining weight weight. It's so frustrating to work so hard, make so many changes, and not only see no success, but actually see the problem getting worse. My dr. thinks it might be from my SSRI... but going off of it is kind of a double edged sword. We're slowly tittering down my dose and starting to increase a dose of a mood stabilizer with no weight gain effects, so hopefully that will help but it'll be a few months... I just don't know how to stay motivated when I'm not seeing results
So, here i go, yet again, with 70lbs to lose. This time, i have no supportive roommates, no cheering-on bf/fiance, and much less free time as I'm a medical student studying for boards. Everyone tells me I'm going through a stressful time, and that's why i'm not losing, but honestly, the rest of my life is going to be stressful, and I can't keep using that as an excuse. So here I am, to keep myself accountable if nothing else. Thanks for listening to me babble.

Welcome back! Sorry you're in such a frustrating situation. Congrats on making the first steps x

I hope everything gets easier!

Sorry you're so stressed. Medical school can be pretty rough. Out of curiosity, what board exam are you studying for? I'm currently studying for Step 3.

I'm just finishing up second year, so I'm only up to step 1. I wish i could fast forward in time to step 3. I've had issues with my school's student affairs office and trying to please everyone I just feel fake, and want to start over somewhere new, you know?

Thanks for the support everyone! I'm really glad to be back, and now i just need to stay back and keep getting and giving support.

Yeah. I had problems with the financial aid office including receiving $9000 less a year than my classmates, which was significant. But I'm glad at the same time now that the government got rid of medical school loan deferment and owing less is awesome. There are also so many cliques in my school that I wanted to go somewhere else within about 4 months. Oh well. It's over and residency starts July 1.
Good luck with the Step 1. I didn't do as well as I was predicted to do as a result of me breaking up with my fiance at the time a week before it. Wish I would have used Crush Step 1 and doing all of the USMLE World questions instead of using First Aid and Kaplan Qbank (the questions were NOTHING like the test). Everything I needed to know was in Crush, but I didn't use it because it seemed so simplistic. And I used USMLE World for Step 2 and was very pleased. Besides the point that World is cheaper.

thanks for the advice; i'd never heard of crush, actually. i'm using the usmleworld qbank but i was also planning on buying kaplan too. Not a good idea? I have first aid, all the kaplan books, and most of the brs books, and most of the made ridiculously simple series. Now i have so many books i just don't know what to use!

My fiance and I broke up during my first semester finals, and i ended up failing anatomy with a 69.7, 70 was passing... so I sort of understand that feeling. I hate most of all knowing that I let him affect my schoolwork and my future; it turns out he was a terrible person, was cheating on me with multiple women, and basically a sociopath, a pathologic liar. Thus started my problems with student affairs. Ug and fin aid...i don't get any money cuz my parent's make too much, just like during undergrad, so i take it allllllll out in loans. I feel like my whole life is on hold; finding someone who isn't a sociopath, having children, buying a home, taking vacations, enjoying my life, getting healthy....everything is on hold because of school.

as for the weight loss, talk to your doctor and set up a plan with him or her. As for your relationships, in my experience, if you go searching for someone you will not be happy because good relationships come to you when you least expect it. Life isn't a romantic comedy, let life happen according to God's script.

I'm 46 and weigh 240lbs. Really want to do the LAWL program. But do not have the plan. If you are willing to share either the color plan or number plan, Id appreciate it.

I think batgirl is right. Good relationships come when they are unexpected. Take this time to focus on YOURSELF. If I could go back in time, I would put a hold on EVERYTHING and just focus on getting myself healthy, finishing the degree that I REALLY wanted, and just learning to be me without interference from a guy or kids. You ARE worth it and you deserve to be happy. Until you find that happiness within yourself, you will never be happy. (((hugs))) You can do it...we are here.

First of all, good for you, for accepting no excuses. Just keep pushing, and hopefully with the new meds, you'll start dropping. You may also be gaining muscle mass, or perhaps you're eating too much or not enough. There could be other problems going on as well.