It’s about 1:35 in the morning and I am sitting here, on the verge of tears, because I ate a giant plate full of cheese fries approximately 4 hours ago. It’s not so much the one plate of cheese fries that bring tears to my eyes but this path I’ve been going down for a few months now. I’ll have a few good days and think I can get back on track and then I fall back into old habits, giving into temptation at the drop of a hat. I’m slowly watching the scale go up, up, up. I’ve gained a whopping 15 lbs since I moved in August. I’m sure it’s more noticeable each time I go home, and I’m ashamed.

I think the scariest thing for me is I’ve had more than one “come to Jesus moment.” You know, the moments like this where you say Ok enough is enough, something has to change. And it does, it just doesn’t last.

Reasons I want to lose the weight:
1. I don’t like feeling like this…. AT ALL.
2.I have one pair of work pants that fit me. 5 lbs would change this, but I want to be wearing all new pants by the end of the summer.
3.I feel like a different person when I eat healthy and exercise. I don’t like the person I’ve become. I’ve been here before… I don’t like this person.
4.A little self control and esteem would be nice.
5.I would like to have babies someday, I don’t want to be unhealthy when that time comes.
6.Spring is coming, I want to feel comfortable in my clothes.
You know, when I eat the food. I’m sitting there thinking, “oh man, I’m going to regret this later.” Yet I continue to eat the food anyway. Why is that? It’s not like I have an unfulfilling life. I have a great life. So, why do I use food for comfort? I excuse myself from exercising because I had a long day at work and I’m feeling exhausted. Yet I know if I would exercise, I would have a lot more energy and feel better throughout the day. I wish I could answer these questions, I wish I knew the reason behind these things, but I don’t. I almost feel defeated. Sometimes I feel like food has more power over my actions than myself. That is a very scary thought. I do not like feeling like I’m out of control, but I do. I feel like I’ve been spiraling for months now.
Something has to change.. Starting now.

Sweetie, you don't want to end up with any more pounds that you have to lose. I bit the bullet on Jan. 2. Losing weight is difficult but if you want to make your life better, you gotta do it. I'm slowly but surely seeing the changes in my body. I am in a better frame of mind. The lifestyle plan I am on is South Beach and it works wonders. I haven't gotten the exercise part nailed down but I will. You owe yourself and your future kids the best life possible.

A binge can happen. Pick yourself up and put 100% effort into the next day! You CAN do this! =]

I definitely agree with your list --- I want to be healthy to have children one day, too.

I know exactly how you feel! I relate to #1-#3 100%. Just last summer I lost 40 lbs and since October I've ganied it all back. I went from a very snug fitting size 14 to a size 8! So, I have all of these cute summer clothes that I can't wear.. and I'm back to busting out of my size 14's! Ugh!
I'm trying, every morning I tell myself (Outloud no less) you WILL do better today! Just say NO to the temptation. And, the past few days, I havent done so bad, but more often than not, I give into the temptation.
Its hard.
Sorry, I guess I'm not very good motivation at the moment. Just wanted to let you know I totally relate!

Maybe it would help to write that list down on a piece of paper, carry it with you, and make a habit of reading it before you eat anything, so you can ask yourself if the food you're about to eat helps you attain these goals, or if it will sabotage them. If nothing else, this gives you a couple of minutes to wait before actually eating anything to decide if you are really hungry enough to eat as many calories as you are about to, and it will keep you goal-oriented!

Good luck! I know it's frustrating to binge and regret, but if you keep your ultimate goals in mind, I'm sure you'll be able to overcome them.

caseygail, I totally identify with this. I get all revved up to be "on plan" for a while, and while out running errands I convince myself that "oh, since I'm on this side of town I should stop at that bakery I never get to go to ..." Next thing I know, I don't want to update my food log (and I can't, because the foods from this place are impossibly rich and not likely to be accurately reflected on fitday).

Remember that Japanese proverb ... fall down seven times, get up eight! We can do this, like many others on here have already done.

SeventeenTheStar, what a great idea. I'm going to have to do that myself.

Casey I feel like I could have written this post myself. I get all fired up, do great, then fall off the wagon.. then I get up and dust myself off.. and start back over again.

I can relate to all the things you listed.. every single one. I have lost the weight before, but then gained it back. I know I can do it.. I know you can do it. It can be hard, but you have to fight for it.

Hyacinth love the proverb "fall down seven times, get up eight!" May have to type that up and hang it in my house!

You're definitely not alone with this. I give myself a little pep talk almost daily, and probably a good telling off once a week. I fall off the wagon, I get back on the wagon, I fall off the wagon.... and the cycle continues. My progress isn't astounding and I haven't lost as much as I wanted to in the last seven weeks, but I have lost. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of our successes rather than focusing on our failures.

Hope you have some great days!

For me, the worst part about these types of lapses is their propensity to snowball. I find myself feeling that I've "lost" the battle with the diet and using that as a reason, go and eat more.

Just remember that it isn't a win/lose situation, but something you are actively in control of, something you can say "yes" or "no" to. Everyone has their weak moments, the true loss isn't having one, but allowing it to capitalize off of itself.

Best of luck,

UL

I have a neat trick that USUALLY keeps me in line. Take your needed (as opposed to desired, lol) calorie intake and divide it by the number of hours you are usually awake. That leaves you with the number of calories you can consume every hour.

For instance, I am trying to stick to 1800 a day. I am awake from 10am to 2 am, so I get to eat 113 calories every hour. If you eat more, just wait a couple of hours. Warning: this only works if you are starting the day binge-free. If you, like me, have a problem with middle-of-the-night binging, it is really hard to stick to this, and it may make you binge again from being so hungry.

That being said, I am looking forward to taking my own advice again tomorrow. Oh, if you are skeptical, I lost 82 lbs. like that last time, and not doing it anymore is one of the reasons I gained it back.

Thanks for all of the words of encouragement. I knew if there was anyone who could relate it would be you guys. I have to get back into the habit of posting on here. It really motivates me to know there are so many people who are out there in the same shoes as me. Sometimes it's easy to feel like the only person in the world who struggles with food on a day to day basis. It's comforting to know I can pour my heart out on here and you guys will totally understand. Also, I posted on here religiously for several months, and lost 30 lbs.

Today went quite well, I'm home from work and that's when the temptation gets tough. I feel like I'm in a good place mentally right now, I almost feel like I need to prove to myself I can do this.

Callie1983: I'm from Northeast Arkansas as well However, I am currently living in Northwest.

Where exactly in Arkansas are you from? I'm from Hot Springs but I live in Tennessee now as DH is in the Army.

Anywho, I can TOTALLY relate. I don't know if you do this but if I mess up once during the day it is a total excuse for me to mess up even more and then I end up eating even more than I do when I'm not dieting.

But I have noticed that when I feel the urge to binge eat I will eat five Ritz crackers. It's 80 calories and they are so buttery and rich that I feel like I'm getting my junk food. And if I've eaten all of the calories I need in a day and still get that urge in my gut, I just drink water. It's better for you and it can be filling. Besides, most people don't get the daily recommended amounts of water anyway.

Brittany: I am from Piggott, but I live in Fayetteville. Just moved here in August and love it so far! I love Hot Springs too!
And, I can totally relate. That is actually what I did last night. I overdid it at dinner and used that as an excuse to binge on a giant mound of cheese fries later :S It's amazing what we can talk ourselves into, even though we are completely aware it is irrational!

Oh I love fayetteville! Haven't been there in forever.

I overdid the pot roast and mashed potatoes the other day and used it as an excuse to eat a PINT of ben and jerrys. Tell me how THAT makes sense?! Oh well, just gotta pick ourselves up and get back on the bandwagon the next day.