Hi, everyone,

I'm a 35 years old single lady in San Jose, CA. I originally came from China, so my diet is quite different from that of most of you. I mean more carb and less fat/protein. Cheese and some fatty food are just not for me.

Anyway, I am 5'5" (1.65m) and weight now 87.2kg (192lb), size 14, down from 93kg (204.6lb) in 3.5 months. Not super quick, but it's a good start. My last 25lb was gained within several months when my parents visited me for 6months and at the same time, I had a bad heel pain. This is just the excuse. It was me who overate, and did not work out.


The motivation I got was from my month-long vacation back to China last Nov. I stayed home, ate, ate and ate whatever I wanted, BUT, I lost 2kg (4.5lb) in that month! HOW??? I thought about it over and over, and found out there were two major difference between lives in China and in the U.S. First, I had to walk much more everyday, went out for grocery store shopping, buying newspaper, buying drinking water, visiting friends, all on foot, at least walk to the bus/subway stations. Secondly, much less stress as I didn't have to think about work and went to sleep much earlier than I do in the U. S., (also got up earlier.)

After coming back to California, I keep the two changes I had in China, walking more (~an hour a day), and sleeping earlier, and I keep losing weight gradually, and feel much better than before.

When it came to Feb, I made the decision to lose more weight. I started to write down what I eat everyday, and keep an eye on it. It seems very helpful, I've lost 1.8kg (4 lb) so far in 19 days.

My problem is the following:
1. portion. Bad control on portion;
2. emotion/stress. Use food to find safety.
3. all or nothing attitude.

If those problematic behaviors are not changed, even I was at the perfect BMI now, I would regain them back.

My weight goal is down to 150lb (68kg, BMI 25), a 55lb loss from the peak, and keep it off.
My sub-goal 1 is from 192lb down to 176lb (80kg), which was my weight from 16 to 26 year old. (sure, then I was much more toned and in smaller size.)
My sub-goal 2 is down to 160lb (72.5kg), which was my weight from 13-15 year old. Hopefully I will be size 6.

I'm so glad to find this website and so inspired by the posts here. I will try my best to post my diet log here, and learn from you ladies!

Best!!

RLR

I am being the three stressful things recently.

1. My mom had a heart attack this week just after the Chinese New Year day. She's 70 year old, BMI 24-25, well medication controlled blood pressure, sugar and Cholesterol... Fortunately, my dad sent her to the best Cardiovascular in Beijing, probably in China as well, in time. She's been in hospital for 6 days, and seems everything is ok now. Definitely a lucky scenario. But I have to wake up at 1:30am everyday to chat with her for a while, because that's their dinner time. Other time the patients are supposed to be quiet. And I still prepare for flying back if she needs an operation.

You gals may never know how sad it would be if your mom was sick and you just could not do anything for it, and even so far from her.


2. I am under terrible pressure to complete two projects at same time, and asked for work over the weekends. My company was just merged in to a bigger company, and the bosses are building their new credits with their new bosses. So they push.

3. In the employment letter I received today, I was put into the lowest grade of engineers in the new company. My boss definitely did something on that.

There's nothing I can do to change the status, but I have to take a deep breath and change my feelings. I should not use food as a comforter, as food can not change the status too.

Be strong! Be positive! And I will go through it!

to 3FC's ~ sorry to here that you mom has been ill, but am glad that she is feeling better now; that is stressful for sure. My mother had colon cancer; after surviving surgery, she lived with a colostomy for 17 years, then passed from a PE (possibly a complication of diabetes). She was and is an awesome person; and we have many fond memories of her.

Yes, we all know the great stressors that come with our workplaces. You may find exercising and coming here will help you unwind and get those stressors off your mind for a while. No use eating as that won't solve anything really; plus you are doing so well already, so keep it up!

This is a great place with lots of wonderful people; we have many interesting forums and threads here too. Take a good look around and jump right in wherever you feel comfortable ...

Thank you so much, Justwant2bhealthy! I feel so warm with your kind words! THANK　ＹＯＵ！！

Hi RLR and welcome.

So sorry to hear about your mom and am hoping she has a speedy recovery. My mom died in 2005 of cancer but I cared for her at home. It must be so difficult to be so far away from your mom. Having to deal with death is one of the big stressors we have to deal with, especially as we get older. I lost one son a few years ago and one of my brothers about two months ago. These things can make it very difficult to control our eating. I care for my 84 year old father and that stress can be difficult at times.

A stressful job can almost be even more difficult to deal with....I know that for sure from experience. While caring for my dad, I really do try to constantly be mindful and grateful for the fact that I do not have to worry about reporting to work, deadlines, and difficult bosses. After dealing with that in the past, I truly appreciate not having to deal with that right now. I try to focus on the positive things in my life, rather than the negatives.

We all have inner dialogues in our heads that mainly revolve around worrying and criticizing ourselves. I believe that meditation is supposed to help stop those so we can totally relax for a period of time. Learning to meditate is on the list of 1,000 things I want to learn how to do.

But much of the negativity and despair we can often feel comes from the inner dialogue and from what we subconsciously tell ourselves. To some extent, we do have some control over this. We can't control much of what happens in the world but we can have some control over our thoughts....and responses.

This site is wonderful for online support and in fact, online support can have a special positive in that we can be here when and how often we choose and it does not involve the pressures we can feel from our real lives. It's a fantastic place to be able to relax and to enjoy yourself in addition to making friends and getting support.

You can also get a great deal of inspiration and motivation here. It is generally much easier to share our thoughts and fears about weight issues with others who experience the same and can identify with and relate to yours as well. You do not have to worry what others think of you, your appearance, etc. like you do in the real world. You can be comforted to know that everyone understands.

It can seem a bit overwhelming at first, as this site is so big and has so many members. You should read around and you'll find certain areas that will pertain more to you and then you can find your niche...choose the ones that appeal to you....and you'll develop your own relationship with the various members on that particular forum/area.

Since you are from China, I am very interested to know what sorts of things you eat regularly....and also what sorts of specific challenges you have in terms of the specific things you eat. I am doing a plan that seems the opposite of yours....the low-carb Atkins diet....but this works extremely well for me and I know that much different plans work better for others. It's REALLY important to find the plan that works for you, especially in terms of maintaining the loss once you get to goal.

There are areas for calorie-counting (not sure if this is exactly your particular preference) and any other eating plan imaginable, areas for certain age groups, certain weight groups and also for those who have difficulty with cravings, binge-eating, portion control, etc. You will find several areas, most likely, that particularly apply/pertain to you and to your situation. Another wonderful area is the inspiring success stories one, especially the before and after photos.

It sounds like this could be just what you need in order to get where you want to be weight-wise. Developing a goal and working on it is often a way to put you into a more positive frame-of-mind in itself. Then, experiencing success, step-by-step, can give you a whole new outlook and make you feel more empowered.....and help you with the rest of the challenges in your life.

deena

HEY! welcome and it's true different diets in america and china can make a difference in your body cause i know in china they mainly eat veggies cause all my aunts and uncles are thin and they are originally from there! well my mom is chubby now lol but its form having 5 kids i guess and she always tell me how all they mostly eat were veggies and its hard to believe she was so skinny when i look at her marriage pictures with my dad :O crazy...but hey once again welcome to the 3fc family and it was nice reading your intro

Thank you Deena! And congratulations on your progress. It seems you just have 5 lb to go, and have lost, wow, 55lb!! What Cheerios said is correct, in China, people eat vegetables much more than American do. Well, eating pattens changed in China dramatically in the last 2-3 decades. Back to 20 years ago in China, goods supply was very limited. Almost everything had a quota per person per month, which came like a stamp. With it and with money, you could buy the goods from stores. For example, I had ~30lb rice/flour per month, probably 0.6lb peanut oil (cooking oil) per month, a few tens of pounds stamps to buy 'cooked food' which was made of rice/flour/oil, for example, a cookie or a cake. I believe it was 1990 or so, those stamps were canceled. People can buy any amount as long as they have money. And with the country is more and more developed, people life is greatly improved, but it's so sad that too many people become overweight and obese as they adopt unhealthy lifestyle with too much food and too less activities.

Back to your question, what I regularly eat. This is a good question. Let me think.
First of all, processed food is not on my normal list. One big difference between China and American cooking culture is that Chinese ppl spend more time on cooking/prepare food. If I was in China now, I probably would spend 1.5-2 hours per day on cooking (3 meals), which is not including shopping time. And we do grocery shopping on daily basis to eat fresh. My parents happen to be chemical engineers, they know what is in those processed food, and never buy sausages and hams. Cokes are considered processed food, and juices are never bought since I will be questioned why not eat fruits directly. In the U.S., I do my grocery shopping twice a week, only check the outside turn of the stores for meat and fruit/vegetables.

Secondly, I like to eat vegetables, and meat is not in every meal. The Food Pyramid only suggests 3 to 5 servings of vegetables each day, and each serving is very small (to me). To me, a large onion is just partial of a dish to me, for a meal. I would add more vegetables and do a stirfry. Vegatables in a salad look plenty because they are raw, if you stirfry them, they will shrunk to almost nothing. However the portion for meat is large. A set of poker cards size raw meat can be cut into slices and then stirfried with vegetables, and then served for 2 meals. Tofo and flavoured tofo are good way to intake proteins.

I have to say I'm lazy, so I eat meat less is more because I don't want to spend time to cook. I need to take better care of myself. Oh, forgot to say, I eat little cheese, just because cheese doesn't match my stirfries. Not much milk as well.

Sorry, I really write very slow, just finished half way. Have to go to bed. Will add on later.

RLR

Hi again RLR.

From what you've described so far, it sounds like what you and your family eat in China is very healthy. In other words, that WHAT you ate on your recent trip to China was just as responsible as the increased walking and the decreased stress for your increased ability to control your weight and lose weight. So that leads me to be curious regarding what you eat while you are in the US as compared to the healthy way you eat/ate in China.

This may be outdated, but my pre-conceived notion of how they eat in China was that it was a great deal of veggies and rice and much smaller portions of meat, that soy was an additional source of protein, fruits were eaten and that there was not a lot of processed food eaten.
AND that when they began to eat a typical US diet of processed foods, they would encounter health and weight problems.....whereas they had not had huge issues with these problems on their own, more healthy diet.

Generally speaking, the long-held beliefs regarding issues with being overweight revolved around 1) eating too many calories and 2) not getting enough exercise.

Now...just to let you know...I am currently off in an entirely different dimension when it comes to these beliefs and how I eat and how I lost the excess weight and maintain my weight. I lost the weight on a diet relatively high in fat and protein but very low in carbs....and NO simple carbs. However, the carbs I did and do eat are probably 80% vegetables. I'd say that generally, I ate/eat moderate protein, moderate to high fat, very high amount of low-carb veggies and hardly any other carbs (only a few in limited dairy). This works for ME but I'm just telling you this to let you know what I use. But due to your cultural heritage and your usual way of eating, this diet would most likely not work well for you. It is a metabolic diet, not a calorie counting diet. I only count carbs....not calories, generally.

In fact, overall....most diets seem to either fall into the calorie-counting category or the metabolic category. And I mention this because your typical diet in China is not only healthy but also seems to control weight via a calorie-counting method. That over-all, the caloric intake is not high.

SO...having said all that, I guess my basic question is this: Because your diet in China seems to be very good, what is it about what you eat in the US that causes you problems with weight control? Do you still eat the good diet you ate in China but just eat way too much of it, thereby increasing the calorie load? OR...are you adding items that you typically did not eat in China that could be causing the problems?

I think I'm a bit baffled because so far, it sounds like you still eat a pretty healthy diet here. Many people who come to the US from other countries where their diets did not cause serious weight and health problems seem to encounter these problems mainly due to suddenly eating in fast-food places like McDonald's, etc. and suddenly eating a great deal of processed foods (esp. foods in boxes...from the aisles of the grocery store rather than from the perimeter of the grocery store).

And the reason I described what I eat and how I lose weight is that I believe that eating a diet high in carbs, esp. simple, processed carbs (esp. sugar and high-fructose corn syrup) causes obesity......while others mainly go with the "eating too many calories/not enough exercise" theories.
BUT, calorie-counting works extremely well (calorie-counting plus exercise even better) for a huge number of people here on this site....so clearly, this can and does work.

Your diet, though unlike the one I do, seems very healthy. So I feel rather unsure about what factors are causing you to have weight issues when you eat in the US that are not such a problem when you eat and live in China. Getting more exercise in China can definitely be a contributing factor. I am guessing that when you refer to having much more stress in the US (job-related) as compared to when in China....that this causes you to over-eat. What I'm curious about is if it is over-eating that is a big factor....WHAT is it that you are over-eating, for the most part?

I hope I explained this okay and that you understand what I'm asking. If I didn't, please let me know and I'll explain/ask it in a different way.

deena

Hi, Deena,

Your question made me think over, and to be very honest, I answer it from my deepest heart.

As you read my sub-goals in the first post, I have weight problem from very young. At the age 6-8, I had definitely healthy weight in the U.S. standard, but compared to my peers/classmates, I was fat. My brother is 2.5 year older than me, but I was ~5kg or more heavier than him. He's just too skinny, but that's just a little abnormal in China by then, I was more abnormal. I gained my weight by 10kg per year from roughly 10-12 year old, as well as growing taller. By the time I entered junior high, I was 1.60m and 72.5kg, compared to 40-45kg of my fellow classmates. I was so embarrassed as teachers/relatives started to say I should lose weight! I still remember a teacher asked me be out of the classroom, and taught me some exercises to tighten thighs. It's too embarrassing to a 10 year old!
72.5kg was kept for three years in junior high, and suddenly reached 80kg in my high school and was kept for roughly 10 years. Consider most of my fellow gal classmates were just below 50kg! (yes, they are most shorter than me as well.) Ok, if the weight doesn't make much sense to you, let me give you the dress size, they are in size 0 or less as they become adults. If you could read Chinese, and went to a discussion board on weight lose in Chinese, ladies there are discussing how to lose from 120lb to 100lb even they are taller than me. I am just helplessly way out!

Why I summary my history is that, I have been so embarrassed with my weight and built an attitude as "let it be", and "I have to live with my weight problem all life long". This is very bad. That's why when I started to gain weight, instead of doing something, I chose to hate myself and do nothing.

Another problem is that though I am obese, I still have relatively strong muscles, if I chose to work out to lose weight, I chose to go extreme instead of going slowly. Then I had shin pain and heel pain after several months and then stopped and gained more weight!

So the first reason for my weight problem is my attitude, I have to admit it.

The 2nd reason is the life style.
1. less exercise. I used to ride bikes as the way to commute and go shopping in China. We bike slowly but constantly. 30-40min one way is considered 'bikable' distance for daily commute. The average biking time is more than 1 hour a day. I didn't think it an exercise until I lost the tight muscles from my thighs, as I drive to commute everyday now.

2. Food. When I first arrived in the U.S., I did eat junk food, (and sometimes now.) You may laugh at me, but it's true that I even have not finished trying every new food to me now. Chips, icecream, fast food, I did try them in different brands. And of course they taste very good! Even I know they are bad and avoid them, for some time, I overeat nuts! (peanut/walnut/sun flower seeds...) I also overeat carbs. Noodles are easiest way to cook. When I come home late, I just boil the water, at the same time, I prepare the vegetables, and then send all to the pot. Within 10 mins, I can have a dinner with lots of noodles. That makes me really full and then I feel better. And after saying how many vegetable I eat, I'm not a vegetarian, I do eat meat. As friends say, I'm a good cook. And I am a single, I cook sometimes just for fun or passtime. Here's my patten, I cook a meat dish, it's delicious for sure, but nobody to share, and I keep 'sample" it, and it won't taste good when reheated, so, I eat them all. This is usually at night and after my dinner.

That's my problem on portion.

To straight out your question, is there any particular food I don't eat in China but eat here in regular basis? I don't think so, nothing new is on daily basis if I cook for myself.

The 3rd reason is stress. Stress from working place, from relationship, as everybody here has. But I probably feel more lonely than you do. In the first year I was in the U.S., I gained probably 20-30lb under combined pressure from graduate school and loneliness. When I feel stress, I am more likely to overeat. And as I recall the time I gained weight, I did eat junk food, for example, go McDonald's for quick dinner solution if I need to work overtime.



So, writing down the problems I have is to remain myself what to do and what not to do.
For you, Deena, I don't think there is any particular food we shall eat or not eat, all is 'common sense' in the world of weight loss.

We shall,
1. accept and love our bodies no matter what;
2. manage stress and not use food as a comforter;
3. watch the portion and the nutrition, spend time to take good care of ourselves, physically and mentally; and,
4. build exercise into daily life.

Hopefully, this answered your question. And I am so sorry that I write slow, it costs me 2x or 3x time when I write in English..
And writing this in English is stressful too.. I put several walnuts into my mouth while writing...

Best!!!
RLR

I understand how it feels to always be the fattest one - I have always been the fattest one. As a teenager, I was the fattest one in the class and I was never made to feel anything but that. At 140lbs - I actually wasn't fat but compared to all the girls who were 100 - 110lbs.

I hope your Mom is getting better. My grandma had a heart attack at her 70th birthday party. And we had a great time at her 85th birthday party on Feb 6!

Thank you, MK2010! Welcome to 3FC!

We may not be able to be better than others, but can always be better than what we used to be!

My mom is going to take the cardiac imaging test 5-6 hours later to determine if she need a bypass operation or just a stent implantation. God, I hope it's the latter...But I know my mom is in good hands. The hospital she stays in does 10,000 cardiac imaging tests and 8000 stent implantation operations a year! Yes, that much!


By the way, how do you add process bars into your posts? I can't find it in the Control Panel.

Hi RLR

Just a little background...I was a nurse (RN) for many years and so I have a tendency to search for info/clues in everything you have been writing to try and figure out the problem...or at least the main problem. It helps to try and narrow down the problem in order to find a good solution.

From what you wrote, you seem to be describing being a bit overweight during your adolescence and teens. Not seriously overweight but heavier than most of the other teens your age in China. I'm sure that was really difficult as yes, young people in China do seem to be very slender on average.
So for quite some time, you've not been a skinny person.

And I am assuming you ate the usual healthy diet they eat in China...correct? You were eating the same diet that was keeping most of the others thin.

And you did not refer to eating huge quantities of calories (due to stress or otherwise) as an adolescent and teen.....so I'm assuming you simply had a tendency to gain more weight than most of the others in China eating the same diet.

NOW...I did already tell you in advance that I do low-carb. And I don't do it just for the heck of it...I do it because I have major problems with carbs metabolically and cannot control my portions or my weight if I do not severely limit them.

And the reason I'm mentioning this is that it occurs to me that although your diet in China was healthy, there was quite a high level of carbs in the form of rice and noodles (unless they were the low-carb soy/soba noodles)......so could it be possible that eating lots of these high-carb items might be making it really difficult for you?

I'm not trying to convert you or anything. In fact, many, many people here lose amazing amounts of weight on low-calorie and other sorts of diets. But for me and for others like me, who have serious problems with carbs....what type of diet we go on can make all the difference in the world. And believe me, it was not for lack of trying....I tried all sorts of other diets over the years. The main reason for my lack of success was always constant hunger. On low-carb, this is not a problem.

For ME, if I used any other diet but low-carb, it would be literally like trying to swim upstream....and I would become frustrated and give up...over and over.

And if you have time...here is a lecture an author made at Dartmouth regarding the type of eating plan I do....and the logic of it. I am currently reading his book and this lecture summarizes the main thesis of it:

http://www.dhslides.org/mgr/mgr060509f/f.htm

However....I could be totally off the mark here and carbs may not be your problem at all. I'm just having a difficult time trying to pinpoint another problem because I do not see specific red flags in terms of binge-eating, especially of particular foods....usually sweets (chocolate, sugar, candy, etc.) or salty (chips, popcorn, doritos, etc.)....so I'm having difficulty trying to specifically locate another clear problem.

If I'm misunderstanding you, please let me know....but you seem to be saying that you are not overeating massive quantities of foods...is that right? I did perceive the issues of less exercise and stress.....but I don't even exercise to lose weight. I simply walk daily. To me, diet is the cornerstone of weight control and exercise can be one of the cornerstones of good health. Does that make sense?
And regarding stress....the problem is that stress can cause over-eating, which can result in weight gain. But stress in itself should not cause this and in fact, in some people actually causes weight loss.

In terms of what you're eating (aside from the exercise and stress issues)...JUST the eating issue......can you think of anything related to either quantity of food or type of food that you think might be causing your weight issues?
I'm not seeing any huge red flags from what you've written. You seem to eat a fairly healthy diet and have not referred to significant problems with serious over-eating. Am I misunderstanding anything?

I know it has to be very difficult to write all this in a different language and I really appreciate the time you're taking to do it.

deena

HI, Deena,

Sorry I can't reply your question now. I am catching a flight to Beijing 9 hours later, and it's 3 am now. Will reply later!

Best wishes!

RLR

I hope everything is okay with your mother, RLR. I'm glad you will get to be with her.

I do not want you to feel under any obligation to answer anything I ask. I know that language is a barrier and that it makes it difficult for you and I don't in any way want to put you to any trouble. I was just unsure of what advice to give as your diet sounded quite healthy.

Due to the language barrier, I think, I kept asking you the same question several times...and for that I apologize. I was feeling unclear regarding the answer. I know you were trying very hard to answer it.

I have a special place in my heart for those who struggle with weight issues that are similar to mine. For 4 years, I thought I was doing everything right and was getting either no results or minimal results. And this frustrated me over and over and made me feel hopeless and defeated.

It took the folks on a message board who did trouble-shooting for me...that finally located the specific problem that was blocking my success. Amazingly, it was one small technicality....and it meant the difference between success and repeated failure.

Because I was having difficulty identifying the specific issue causing the problem, I was attempting to narrow it down. But I did not mean for you to have to struggle to answer it. I feel pretty sure that I probably did not word the question clearly enough for you.

I hope that you have a good trip and hope that everything goes well with your mom. See you when you return.

deena