Being overweight-obese is not much fun. It makes us different from the others. We are often viewed in a negative light. It makes us unhealthy. Overall, it is a hard, negative experience that we all just want to be free from.

But, something I am wondering about is: what is something positive that has come from being the 'other', from not being the same as everyone else on the outside? How has this changed who you are as a person and your perspective on life?

Some people think, everything happens for a reason. If this were true, then for what reason were you overweight-obese?

Any interesting stories?? ....

I think it's helped make me more empathetic and understanding of others. Sure I probably would have been happier if I had never been obese, but I think all of our life experiences shape us into who we are.

There's not enough room on the Internet for me to talk about how being obese changed my experience of the world & shaped the person that I am.

For starters, I'll give you my Grand Theory of My Lifelong Overcompensation for Being Fat. Because I felt that I was inherently unacceptable because of my body & that people would not want to be around me, I felt that I had to prove my worth in many other ways. Redundantly, over & over again. That meant I had to be smart, funny, and above all, at all times, pleasing to look at & be around -- really clean, presentable, well-dressed, well-made-up. I mean, sure, I was fat, but I'd be damned if I was also going to be sloppy, smelly, sweaty, bedraggled, whatever else is included in the stereotype of a woman who's lost all interest in taking care of herself & any notion of what is socially acceptable & unacceptable. I had to be the exact opposite of that stereotype.

I am haunted by a really obese, snaggle-toothed, bad-smelling, impoverished bag-lady with rat's nest hair. I come from poor people on one side of my family. Really poor people. I had some distant relatives who were close to that. Visiting them when I was a litte kid accompanied by my parents had a tremendous impact. When I got fat like some of them, everything I did was aimed at getting me as far away from becoming that kind of woman as possible. On some level, I think I'm still on the run from that woman & that life.

Wow, Saef... Just wow...

At first I couldn't think of anything positive. But now I've thought of something. My mother gained weight after she had children, and we all gave her a pretty hard time about it. I'm ashamed of our behavior around that. Well, at my highest weight, I was heavier than my mom's highest weight--by probably 15 pounds. It gave me perspective about her and her life that I just didn't have when I was younger and not overweight.

Jay

Oh, dear. Mine was a threadkiller of an answer, wasn't it, Jay?

But it's true. If I hadn't been really obese, and very much afraid of being perceived a certain way because of my obesity, and if I hadn't overcompensated to make up for that possibility -- I saw it as a possibility, even if it wasn't, really -- I'd be a different person.

If I'd grown up with & taken for granted the blue-eyed, fair-haired privileges of a thin girl, I wouldn't be me. I mean, I might not have ended up like Marsha Brady or Paris Hilton, but I'd be someone else entirely.

Great question. If I had never struggled with binge eating, I would still be the kind and caring person that I (think) I am. It is so much a part of me, that it's hard to imagine myself not having gone through this experience...this life style. I think I wouldn't be as grateful for fitting into a normal pair of jeans. I wouldn't have really understood how wonderful it is to be able to go shopping in a regular store vs. a plus sized one. I think I would still be tolerant/accepting/understanding of heavy people, but now, I really empathize and I know that it could easily be me.

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't grow up obese, there were whole other extreme conditions going on. I could never choose to go through it again, but it is almost unfathomable who I might have been if things had been different. It easy to imagine and re-write the stuff I don't like about how I coped. But I learned some extraordinarily good things too. At least, eventually.

I don't think so.
I found your comments inspiring, and
several parts of your experience closely resemble my own.