Purefire, glad you are feeling positive and congrats on the 4 lbs! That is great!

Today was a pretty good day. I saw the Michael Jackson movie this morning with a couple of good friends. I loved MJ dearly as I've said on here before. It was like seeing an old friend. After we went and had some great thai food. I did have to work for about 3 hrs because we are short on coverage and I couldn't get the whole day off. It was slow though so I mainly just sat and talked to a co-worker the whole time. I really needed the time off this weekend.

I had a bout of smothering depression late last night. I've been fearing an onset lately. I'm thinking I need to take some proactive steps to head it off. I'm thinking I definitely need to start working out even if it's a couple of times a week and I'm going to start a gratitude journal again where you have to list 5 things daily you are grateful for. I have such a tendency to focus on the negative in my life more than the positive. The thing is when I hear about other people's lives I wonder what all my whining is about. I just need to remember how lucky I am in many ways.

Good night all

vermont-this is from the end of the oct forum since it is closed..but thank you for your love and support in this time. i am trying. my mom came to church this morning and i didnt think she would but she broke down crying and of course i did too...it will be a long week. my uncle is flying in on tuesday. but that you for caring.

good morning purefire, hope4me and momof4

mom, continues to you and your mom is handling your gram's passing.

Purefire, wishing you good things in the potential new friendship.

hope4me, I would also recommend some exercise to shore up against a potentially bad episode, especially if you feel it coming. I haven't had a bad bout in a long time, which I am VERY thankful for!! I use my light therapy each morning, and work out almost every day, it must be working because I haven't felt really bad in ... well, I don't remember how long, I guess since last winter! so that is good.

Good morning ladies!

Pure - I'm glad you're feeling better, and congrats on the 4lbs

Mom -

Hope - VT is right, exercise helps. Have you ever seen Legally Blonde? There' a wonderful quote about endorphins making you happy in it

Have a great day ladies!

Good morning, chickies - and what would I do without you all!

Hope, I'm so sorry you're feeling blue - and I can relate to the never wanting to go out thing. I'm sure I'm the biggest bah humbug ever - but I can't help it. And if I do know I'm planning to go out, I get anxious for days before hand.

I've also been concerned about a relapse lately. While I'm generally ok, I'm finding myself crying a lot, over nothing. This isn't usual and normally my first sign is not sleeping, which hasn't been a problem. I'm also managing to stick to plan quite well. I just feel a bit like I'm on the edge, you know? It's been two years this month since my last major breakdown, and I'm concerned. If I do crash again, where do I go? I'm already maxed out on my meds, and I can't go back in to that circus of trying to find something that works.

So, I get where you're at - hang in there! Feel free to PM if you ever want to chat!

Mom - there are no words. I sat with my grandmother the same way, many years ago. With each breath a part of you wants it to be the last, for her sake. And the other part prays she'll hold on for a while longer. I'm a big believer that older folks decide when they're going. When they've had enough, and they feel that we, who are left behind, can cope, they just let go. I am sending lots of mental hugs. You are strong enough to get through this, for you and your mom.

Vermont - thanks so much for the congrats on my little success. It means a great deal. I've been sticking to plan pretty well and lost 4lbs last week, which feels amazing. I called my DH in Lebanon with the news , I've got 154lbs to go so I'm sure I won't call him with every few pounds, but this felt good.

Pure - SO many kudos for sticking with the kicking! You did a good thing getting rid of him, and you're obviously feeling better for it. The school stuff will work itself out - I remember my first economics classes at university, just feeling like I'd NEVER get it - and then one day it just pops. And think how much more it will mean when you graduate and you've worked so hard for it! And good luck with the new beau - as an ex-military wife (ex-military, not ex wife) I can assure you, they're not bad and they adapt to change well!

Leenie, hope all is well at work!
Lost - hope all is well with the move.

To everyone else....
Happy November, chickies!

hi everyone,
sorry for introducing myslef and then disappearing for a bit. i've had a crazy little bit.i've lost a tiny bit of weight which i'm excited about and seem to be sticking to my diet and exercise plan. but i can feel my problems creeping up...i've been super anxious lately; panicky and worried about everything and anything. and way too stressed and nothing seems to releive it. agitated and snapping at the boyfriend. and at the same time completely unmotivated to do anything! (other than a bit of exercise, which is wierd for me, but not school, socializing, anything..)i'm trying to push through it though.

momof4under5- i'm so sorry to hear about your gram. i know how hard losing someone close to you can be and i wish you the best.

happy november everyone!

thank you for the support

Havish- I believe my gram waited for my mom to leave to go so my mom didnt have to see her go. She struggled all night breathing. My mom woke her up and told her she was running some errands and would be back my gram nodded her head. My aunt was sick with a cold so she sat downstairs. My parents had only been gone 5 minutes and my grams dog just start flipping out barking and barking my aunt ran up the steps and gram was gone. So she just waited for my mom to go so my mom didnt have to see her go.
Thats crazy how dogs can sense something like that...really crazy. I never knew that they could and would react like that. Hopefully the dog makes without my gram. ok i need to go..

I'm so sorry! <HUGS>
I've been there too...

Good Morning,

The sky is beautiful blue today. You know it can be very cold or very hot... as long as the sky is blue I'm ok.

Mom sorry to hear about your G'ma its so sad. Hang in there hon.

Jiggles welcome back... we all have days when we don't post so don't apologize, we understand.

Pure YEAH on the self-esteem.. and 4 lbs to boot, how exciting

Hope sounds like your doing the right thing, self positive talk is so important...yeah you. I've heard the MJ movie was wonderful.

Holly (cupcake ) Marbear

Havisham how are you feeling today

BethC

Nothing new here, which is a good thing. Just been a little run down but thats b/c I haven't had my monthly visit from aunt flo ... its been over 2 months and when that happens I lose all energy. Oh well, I'm sure she'll come a knocking soon lol.

Have a wonderful day ladies

Leenie

Good Morning chickas,
Today marks 2 goods things:
1. I'm officially down 16lbs
2. It's my 2nd anniversary
I may be back up a lb or two as we're going out to eat tonight, and I can't control sodium. Plus I may have to eat dessert. Haha, not that I'm going to eat a 7,000 calories dessert - but you know.

Mom - I hope you're hanging in there.

Havish - 4lbs is amazing! I'd call hubby everytime I lost 4lbs ... but I guess that would depend on what type of longdistance plan you had. I made a 8 miinutes phone call home from Prague once that cost $60!!

Lennie - I love midol - it's got caffeine in it for a reason I suggest a few of those and a cup of swiss miss diet hot choclate. 25 calories, and the combination is enough to make me happy for days... The sky is blue here too, and it's chilly. Just the way I like it!

Jiggles - post whenver you can, as long as you come back - that's all that matters

Pure, Budly, VT Mom, Lost, Hope

Have a great day ladies. enjoy the sun if it's shining where you are. And if its not, do what I did - print a picture of the sun out and tape it to your office window.

good morning Pure, Buddly, Lost, Mom, Leenie, Havish, Jiggles, marbear

Hey marbear, big congrats on being down 16!! and - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! and this is so kewl - it is our anniversary too , 'cept this is our (gulp) 30th I hope you find a delicious dessert to savor tonight

the weather in NJ (where I was born and grew up) was very mild this time of year, and there was still color in the trees, so it was still pretty. I had a bouquet of yellow mums, and my mil made my gown, it was very simple but pretty.

I hope everyone has a great day

Good morning, all you wonderful chickies....which makes me realise, if anyone called me a chick anywhere else, I'd be offended....but here, I wear it with pride!

The weather here is gorgeous, too - sunny and cold - my favourite. I love this until the snow flies, and then I suddenly feel very English, and can't fathom how I survive this every year.

So, the big 4-0 looms in the very near future...but I'm hanging in. I asked my family back home (the UK) not to call...not sure why. I'm possibly going to Quebec to the casino with my son (he's 18 so he's able to go in to the casino in Quebec)...but then that monster nudges me and says "come on, do you really wanna drive all that way and you won't enjoy it" - you know the voice. Anyway, we'll see.

Marbear - congrats on the 16lbs and the anniversary! My 4lbs seems like a tease as it's all over the place now...but this is a journey, not a destination, so I'm sticking with it. And yes, the LD plan is vital....sadly Lebanon is not on any LD plan I've found - I guess no-one wants to call there!

Vermont - if that is you in the pic, how on earth have you been married for 30 years???? You'd have had to be an infant bride!!! My 20th is next year...time flies, eh??

Mom - Hope you're hanging in. The funeral will suck, as they all do - mainly for the effect it'll have on your mom, since you seem to be very well adjusted. Watching ones parents in pain is the worst. My mom's mom died in the July and her dad died that same December...at his funeral she couldn't stand, she just sat and sobbed. She said it all just rolled in to one and she couldn't cope. That's when you just hold her hand and be there. It helps more than you can know. Hang in and know we're thinking of you.

Leenie - thanks for the check in - not too bad so far. How's things at work? When aunt flo goes missing, it's so draining...you have my

Lost, Jiggles, Hope - Hang in and keep posting when you can.

Happy Tuesday, all!

VT - Happy anniversary to you as well I wouldn't gulp before saying 30 years, being married 30 years is something to seriously be proud of. Congrats!

Marbear & Vermontmom: Happy Anniversary!!

Vermontmom, I thought just what Havisham said, did you get engaged straight out of the womb?