Relating to Heidi's thread about motivation, I found myself thinking about how so many times when I begin my journey toward success, I find myself thinking that I'll never make it to my goal ... This is a great big No-No, right? I guess what I want to ask of the Successful People is: Is visualizing your success a major part of your actual success? Do you have any tips on believing you can do it? On stopping that little voice inside yourself that keeps saying you'll never be as fit as you want to be?

I guess I'm wondering if that might be a big part of why I always seem to fail. I want to be slim - heck, normal! - and fit, and I have many motivational reasons to become so, but maybe deep down I don't believe it will ever happen, and perhaps I'm sabotaging my efforts ...

Pen

Thanks Mzpen, for responding and understanding. When I don't succeed at losing weight, I think everyone around me is judging me as weak and spineless. (I'm not!) It's nice to hear it's not just me.

Maybe it's not my time. Right now I am juggling two small children, a full time job, a house that always needs cleaning, and a husband who has needs from me as well. All are on the top of my priority list, (or are expected to be) and trying to put losing weight up there too is a bit overwhelming to say the least. I'm also in charge of the family finances. I'm always worried about money!

Part of me knows that once I get started on exercising or watching what I eat more, my life will somehow get in the way and botch it up. Kids get sick, I get sick, relatives want to celebrate as an excuse to eat, I get totally depressed about something (at least every other day), the list goes on. If I plan to lose weight, I know my behaviors have to be consistant, and they're not. Old comfortable habits come back, or did they really leave? My old habits are consistant. Like an old comfortable blanket, calming and soothing.

I'm a carb addict and that's why I overeat. I started to eliminate carbs all together and lasted 2 days. I woke up one morning and detested the thought of eating eggs without toast. All my choices made my stomach do flip flops. I was feeling that sick feeling you feel when you are really hungry and I had to eat or be real nausious (sp?). I ate bread. It made me feel so much better. Why do I keep thinking I can change things about my life? I just can't right now. I'm facing facts.

My plan now is to try to stay at the weight I am. (I weighed 166 at the doctors yesterday), or close to it. I can easily gain 20 lbs a year if I don't watch myself. When the kids are older (they're 5 and 2) I can leave the house and walk again. Right now I'm stuck in the house because my ds is napping. It's always something. But someday they will grow up. They really do need to be my very top priority right now, and I feel bad for being so depressed around them lately. This weightloss thing really has had me bugged. It shouldn't. I'm going to stop being so obsessed and enjoy life. Enjoy my kids when they are so young. It will get better, right? I will have more "me" time later, right? That's my goal right now, and everyone around me is just going to have to accept it.

Thanks for listening, I can really make up my mind the best when I talk it out.

Heidi

I have gone from 330lbs to under 190lbs but it has taken around 3 years. On the question of believing. Yes I did believe and I did visualize. But this was not what allowed me to lose the weight.

The 2 things that did were SMALL GOALS and patience. I understood it would take years for me to make a change that would be forever, because it would be based on new eating and exercise and thinking about food habits. It would not be a 'diet' I would go off of, and I haven't.

Small goals were key. I totally focused on the next 10lbs then the next 10lbs. Never on say 200lbs. When I got to 260 I was jazzed, then 250, then 240 was awesome, and so on. Most people doing weight loss correctly also plateau. I have heard many reasons why. When this happens is when you need the patience and maybe to up the exercise a bit, then you can 'break through'. So I personally would focus on the next 10lbs not the ultimate goal. Of course I had an ultimate goal but the FOCUS was always on the next 10lbs.

As far as belief, I believe in the laws of matter and energy. Losing weight really is at one level as simple as you burn more calories then you take in and you will lose weight. You HAVE to lose weight. On the other hand if you take in more calories then you burn you gain weight. Many people never pause and think about this. What it means is..if you up your metabolism, keeping other things equal you will lose weight if you are now burning more calories then you take in. If you take in less calories and keep your metoblism up you will lose weight again if the change is more then surplus was. Many 'diets' fail because the person takes in less calories but it messes up their metbolism so there is no net benefit. That is why exercising is cruical. Especially weight training. Muscle burns more calories then any other cell, 24 hours a day, keeping your metabolism up.

So yes I knew I would lose weight if I did the right things and stuck with them. I knew I would remain fat if I did things I was doing. No magic bullet to losing weight, just good common sense, some will and some patience and anyone can eventually get to their goal weight.

Pen, I normally lurk but feel impelled to reply to your post regarding "maybe it's not my time ..."

You're right, that the things you mentioned (husband and children) need to be a priority in your life. But YOU need to be a priority too. We have to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of the people we love, ya know? If you develop diabetes and have to have a leg amputated, (like a friend of mine) or develop heart disease and can't move without severe pain, it's going to severely impair your ability to be a meaningful part of their lives, let alone clean house, cook meals, etc.

Your children are at the age right now where they are learning the eating and exercise habits they will have for the rest of their lives. Our kids learn more by our EXAMPLE than by what we say, and what are your kids seeing now? They're seeing someone they love who doesn't love herself enough to take care of herself ... who doesn't eat right, who doesn't exercise. What is this teaching them to expect for themselves and/or their spouse when they grow up?

You have enough self-knowledge that you've figured out you're sensitive to carbs. So am I. Maybe cutting carbs as drastically as you've tried to do isn't the answer for you ... maybe you need a more moderate approach. Your weight loss may be a little slower but it would still happen. Even if all you lose is 12 lbs. a year you're going in the right direction, and your fitness level can improve. Many people find nutritional supplements helpful. You CAN exercise if you're determined to find a way. There are hundreds of fitness videos that let you pop a tape in the VCR and exercise while your kids are napping, or after they've gone to bed. Or just go for a brisk walk twice a day. I'm sure your kids have enough energy to walk with you and it could be a time you can be together away from TV, computer games, etc.

"Life" always happens. The holidays roll around every year ... so do birthdays. It's a part of life and has to be managed. I encourage you to be brave enough to find a way around the obstacles and challenges, to become the woman you want to be. DON'T WAIT. I can remember when I weighed what you do ... now, 20 years later, I weigh 100 lbs. MORE than that and face most of the same challenges I did at the time, and more besides ...

I'll be holding you in my thoughts.
Donna

Donna, you are SO right; making our own health a priority is truly a gift to our families as well. I know you will make it! Will be sending good thoughts and vibes your way too!

Diamond, kudos to you on your terrific loss! Wow!!!

Heidi, I love the way you resolve to enjoy life, and enjoy being around your kids. But if overeating is one of those "comfortable and soothing" habits you mentioned, then it's time to replace it with other, healthier habits that also make you feel good. Not a strict diet or hours of working out, just a few little changes like early morning walks, drinking water, and smaller portions, for example. Believe me, being overweight is anything but comfortable! I know from experience.

Pen, you're right, believing it will happen is important to your success. When I started WW three years ago, I had just read Scott Adams' book, The Dilbert Future. The last chapter is completely different from the rest of the book; he gets serious and talks about the power of our minds to actually shape our future. He advises people to write down their desired outcome 20 times a day, using their names. Now I know that sounds a bit silly, but I tried it, writing "I, Jan, will become healthy and slim." And guess what ... I am now over 100 pounds lighter, wear a size ten instead of 24, and have been a lifetime WW member (maintaining my goal weight) over a year. The Dilbert thing wasn't the only change I made, of course, but I think it did help. That, and changing my lifestyle completely, making weight loss a high priority, being VERY patient, and enjoying the journey. You CAN do this; believe it! It is SO worth it.
Regards,
Jan

Jan, thanks for reminding me of the powerful things that can happen when we write things down. There's an excellent book, "Write It Down, Make It Happen," that talks about just that. I think I need to pull it down off the bookshelf, reread it, and start writing my goals down again!
Donna

All of the responses here have been very well written!

I agree with the weight training, there's nothing else like it! It takes less time and you get better results!

About the visualization part, at first I did, because I knew what I looked like, but then I realized that I couldn't remember how it FELT! All I could remember was mushy fat all over. When I started Low Carbing, the first week was HARD! There's no getting past it. It's an ADDICTION. I am not kidding. I craved Carbs so bad I thought I'd go nuts. I would have literally KILLED for a bagel! However, if you stick to about 20 grams of carbs for 4 or 5 days, the craving go away. I'm not kidding about that either, or I wouldn't have stuck to it. After losing 63 pounds, I am learning my body all over again. What I look at is the present day differences. Like when I was able to see a muscle or bone, when I could sit in a chair and not take up the whole space, when I sat on the toilet and didn't have fat hanging over the sides!

It's very hard to look at the future sometimes, so you have to find positives now too.

Good luck with your future loss. I hope you keep us up to date on how it is going!

Amber

P.S. If you start Low Carbing again and have terrible cravings, L-Carnitine is supposed to be good for it. It gives the dose in Atkin's book. Also, you have to put a bit of effort into your meal planning and it'll go a long way. There are lots of recipes on the net. Just type in Low Carb Forum on a search engine and you'll find a ton of easy recipes and good info.

Jeez, I'm sorry! It's l-glutamine that is supposed to kill the cravings! I hope no one went out and bought the other.......

Very very sorry!

Amber

Hi Ladies. Thank you for such a MOTIVATIONAL POWER SURGE!!! I was just surfing the site and stumbled upon this thread. I feel as though I can take on the world today!!! I am on Day #2 of ww'
s and feel as high as a kite from all your successes. All of you must feel so proud to have accomplished your goals thus far. I am thankful for reading your stories and suggestions.

I know I can lose weight and I believe I can but that does make me lose it. Whether that's bad or good I don't know but there are different things that have made me get to it in my life.

I was told by a doctor my cholesterol was extremely high and had a fatty liver. I decided after much drawn out thought that I want to be around or live and someone needs to care for my pets. My caring for them more than caring for myself set me to losing it. I guess I was socialized to care more about others. Not that it's good just how it is and I haven't broke myself of that yet totally. I cared about them enough to care more about myself.

I have also lost it to be more attractive. Now I need to go back to caring about not dying, and not having so much joint pain. I sometimes think that I cannot keep it off so why bother. But I know I can keep it off or maybe I have to work more on believing THAT.