I went out for my friend's 23rd birthday last night. We went to the best burger restaurant in Glasgow called Ketchup and I managed to resist a burger and fries AND alcohol! Instead I had a salad and a diet coke, go me! We then went to the bar next door and I stuck to the diet cokes or water. Anyway... There was lots of rather cute meninthe bar which, trust me, is vey rare for Glasgow. I was feeling so good about myself, I have lost a few pounds, I had my pretty tattoos on show and I saw I few guys looking over and smiling etc but then as soon as a prettier, skinnier girl walked past them, I was completely forgotten about. What the **** is that about? Talk about crushing my self confidence. Grr.
Rant over!
Cat x

Aw, poor you, it feels so crappy to be passed over doesn't it.
but the other thing is that maybe they weren't doing that at all, and it was your perception??
i often think people (especially men) treat me much better when I am slimmer, but then maybe it is just in my own head - ie when I am heavier, I am just more paranoid and conscious about my appearance.
eother way, you are doing great - so continue to feel good about yourself, and really well done on passing up the burger

I'm not a 20-something, but...

Obviously, it is very frustrating to feel like you've been passed over. Maybe you just felt like you were, or maybe you actually were -- that's hard to say. But honestly, let's not judge the behavior of an entire sex by the actions of a few drunk or at least tipsy guys who are probably out at a bar to scan for babes.

If you want a higher standard of behavior, maybe try meeting guys elsewhere? Ideally, some place that would hint at a shared interest.

That said, I am very impressed with your willpower! Kudos to you for your food choices in the face of what must have been incredible temptation. Keep that up and you will be able to steal the bar-goers' attention for yourself (but I'd still recommend looking elsewhere for a "keeper"!).

And remember.....all men have two heads and some of them think with the smaller one. That's based on 50 more years of experience that you chickies.

I have no idea where to start looking for a "keeper"! To be honest, I hate the Glasgow nightlife, it is always full of the same type of guy looking for the same type of girl. I thought I found "the one" earlier this year but it wasn't to be and if I'm being honest, I don't really think I want to move on from him just yet. I still have a bit of hope that things might work out between us...
x

aw catrocks, i know the feeling of not wanting to move on! if you dont feel ready for someone new... put all your energies into yourself
im currently opting to stay single and im having heaps of fun doing stuff for myself, trying out new clothes looks, having at home pamper nights!

an dont ever think you were forgotten bout when someone else walked by... your faboulous and should always remember that!!

I feel like I was just having this conversation with someone yesterday! Of course, when I'm not complaining about them being creeps, I'm complaining that they're idiots... but, since most of my closest mates are guys, I feel like I've seen enough to verify that claim!

I know it's frustrating to feel like that, but I agree with the argument that those probably aren't the types of guys whose attention you want anyways! As for finding a keeper, I've found that smiling at the cute guy working in the coffee shop/doctor's office/car garage is usually the best way to get some positive attention from someone who you can be pretty sure is a) sober and b) currently in possession of some kind of job! lol!

And again, congrats Catsrock, on having such a successful night! It's so easy to go off-plan when celebrating, and you totally rocked it! That's AWESOME!

I feel your pain. It's no different in the States--or anywhere else, I'd bet. Men are idiots. But consider where you were--a bar. And men, when they travel in packs to troll for chicks, display their worst behavior, especially when there's alcohol involved. I hope it works out with the other guy.

Men are visual creatures and lets face it - if you're in a bar they're not usually looking for conversation, intelligence and meeting a potential life partner. It doesn't make then creeps, it just makes them hu(men). A few drinks under their belts and yes unfortunately their attention will wander to the nearest good looking female speciman.

I'm going to be completely honest and note that when I am out - two guys side by side, one cute and one hot...unfortunately I know which one I am going to be perving on (whether obviously or not) and it wouldn't be the "just cute" one.

AND just to be a total contradiction i'll also mention that I found my current BF whilst out one night BUT we also happened to probably be the only two sober people in the bar lol.

Bottom line I guess is just be you, let go and have fun...surprisingly (:P) guys are actually attracted to girls who are comfortable just being out and being themselves and not worried about what anyone else is thinking of them.

And congrats on being so strong and sticking to the alcohol free outing!

Aw so hating on the men! They are not all idiots/creeps! They just think differently from us women. Good looks are tied in the brain to health and productivity. Just look at the types of guys you are attracted to at a bar(not the ones you'd just 'settle' for), it's the same thing!
Gotta get over the fact that guys sometimes have a one-track mind, and it's just the way it is.

Wait a minute. A no-longer-20-something must chime in here. Re-read the OP. She comments the men were cute and even that finding cuties was unusaul. So she's basing her attraction on what the guys looked like. That's how you're evaluating people in a bar so why are the men creeps for doing exactly the same thing?

For me, I think trying to find someone while trying to work on me is impossible. I have decided that until I am happy with myself, I can't be happy with someone else. I want to take this time to concentrate on me and what I want to accomplish. When I get to where I want to be, then I can share it with someone else.

I think this in the main is my attitude - although if things are different for others, more power to you. It's not just weight loss I'm dealing with at the moment, it's self-image, self-confidence, depression and what sometimes seems like a long long line of other stuff. For me that's enough to be going on with right now.

But it's not the case that I want all those things neatly wrapped up before I'd consider getting into a relationship. Some of my issues just aren't going to be completely sorted out; it's a lifelong journey and the most important thing is getting started. It's that getting started, that initial effort, that I don't want to distract myself from. A relationship now would endanger the work I'm doing on myself, and would possibly slide me back to where I was six months ago - a place I really, really don't want to go back to.

Who knows? Maybe in a few months, or a year. One day at a time, and things will happen when they happen.

Another non 20-something chiming in......Yes I wondered the same thing. Face it, looks matter to both sexes and while men can be creeps.....so can we!