It seems that everywhere I go if people know I am on weight watchers it is an invite as to why they think "dieting is stupid" or how "It is too complicated" or "I will eat what I want and be fat and happy" just complete BS! They when others ask me how I like it, I explain it to them it is a lifestyle change and not a diet. I can eat what I want but not the quantity or frequency as before. I was at a BBQ today and I got it from all directions. It seems either people are jealous or want to make the plan look hard so they have an excuse on why they won't do it. This woman's husband actually asked me today "How long have I been doing this stupid thing?" "Stupid????" I said, "well if losing 17.6 lbs in 3 weeks is stupid then I guess I should eat like you do." I mean what the heck? Why do people feel it is their place to critique it and when there is proof right in front of them that it works and they still need to shoot it down? Does anyone else get this? Is this just a stupid NY thing where everyone has to outdo the other in some form? It just amazes me what others will say to me when I am being successful. How can they call it stupid?! Sorry I am rambling but I am so angry that I actually had to defend myself today over losing weight. Does anyone else have this experience? If so what do you say to stop the naysayers?

Hey Steph, Just smile to yourself, because you know something they don't. You are so much smarter than they are. You ARE going to be successful! Then you will have to pick up there jaws on the floor when you walk into a room when you are wearing a tiny little outfit looking like one hot chick! Hey, then ask them what colored flowers they would like at there funeral, because for sure, you will be around alot longer than they are!

Kelly

I so agree with Kelly. And no, Stephanie, it's not just a NY thing. My sisters-in-law actually have a bet going on how long it will be before I regain the weight I lost 2 years ago on WW. They jeered, they sneered, they laughed. They tempted me with food mercilessly and laughed when I stood strong, or when I gave in. One kept saying that WW doesn't work because as soon as you quit doing it you will gain it all back. I tried to tell them that that goes for any weight loss plan, you have to live it, all the way, forever, or yes you will gain it back. Personally I think it's jealousy over seeing someone else really DO IT, and they act mean and nasty to cover up for the longing inside themselves to do it too.

You handled the "stupid" remark just right, too. Good for you on your success in only 3 weeks, that's terrific. In our case, success is the best revenge.

upandaway

Wow your SILs are EVIL! Mine are similar. I heard everything on how they could not give up their beers and how it is too much work. The other big thing is that people don't realize it is a life change but it isn't too drastic. I can still have that slice of pizza just not 3. Two if I wanted to or if I banked all week. I just don't get how people look at it as being a burden to be in control of what goes in you mouth. Too me it is taking care of your body. I just wish I would have started this long ago

Kelly thanks for the encouragment. I cannot wait till I can wear all that stuff in my closet LOL.

Hey Steph - Hang in there. Kelly is right. When you are thin and walk into a room in a 'thin' outfit, their tongues will be hanging out. I know this from experience.

I started to lose weight last July and it took about 7 months to get to where I am right now...and I look pretty darn good, even if I do say so myself. Hubby and I both work for the same firm and he gets all kinds of comments from his men friends about my weight loss and how great I look.

However, when I was losing initially, I received the same kind of treatment that you described. People talked about how complicated WW is, how difficult it is to follow the program, etc., etc. I explained to them that if they are not in the right mental frame to follow the program, of course it will not be successful. However, I am in the right mental frame, want to complete what I have started, and feel great about it.

Since losing 60 pounds, I am finding that the naysayers are coming to me to find out what I did, get help with losing themselves and being healthier people. Many comment that they are using me as a role model to lose weight. That makes me feel even more successful since many of them are the same naysayers that were very discouraging to start with. What I can do for them is to be a support to help them lose the weight that they want to lose and in turn become healthier people.

You will succeed in this, just don't worry about the discouraging comments. (Harder said than done, right?) You know where you are going with this and that's all that matters.

Take care.

Peggy,

OMG congrats on the weight loss!!!! It is good to see it can be followed through to completion. I am not finding the program all that difficult and it astounds me when people think I am lying to them. But wow I am going to use you as a roll model also. 60 lbs WHOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephanie,

What you just experienced, as far as I am concerned, is verbal and emotional abuse. I have encountered this kind of behaviour all my life irrespective of what weight I was and your post really hit a raw nerve with me.

First, no, it is not a NY thing. BTW, I live in NY too, but I grew up in Virginia, and then lived in Washington, DC, and have lived in NYC for the past 12 years, and I have gotten attacked or exploited because of my weight my entire life.

Personally, I think it has to do with our deep -down, complex, hatred of women, view of women as property, fear of power in women, fear of female sexuality, need to keep women infantilized and in control and our cultural obsession with thinness, which is an impossible standard for most normal women. Our "thin ideal" is, ironically, completely unsexual since when a 5'5" woman only weighs 105, she doesn't look like a woman, she looks like a girl or a teenage boy.

Men are never subjected to this. A man might get teased for being fat, but his value as a person is never attacked.

I use to be very thin, and I was threatened with abandonment "if I looked any better" by so many female friends that I am convinced that I got fat to please other people. It was also to punish myself after the end of a horrible relationship.

It took alot of self-love and self-acceptance to want to give the best to myself. I now refuse to talk about what I eat or how I exercise to anyone because I don't consider it any of anyones business and I will tell anyone that if I feel like they are probing so that they can be abusive. I will talk in detail to someone if I sense they are looking for help and are genuinely interested, but otherwise I don't discuss it anymore than I would discuss who I am sleeping with, and I consider it to be just as personal.

Anyone who makes a comment about my weight will get told to be please stop discussing my appearance, you are getting to personal and it is making me uncomfortable.

Anyone who would use the word "stupid" towards anything about you is an abuser and I hope you can stay away from that person.

It takes a lot of courage to look your best. I hope you find it within yourself to take claim of your personal power and value and don't ever let anyone take that away from you.

Good luck,
Elaine
NYC

Hi! I'm new to all this but the naysayers post caught my eye. It's everywhere. I had a woman I work with say to me, "So what if you're losing weight. By the fall you'll be a fat pig again." I was stunned. I was at goal for over a year and holding steady, but then a new relationship. He's wonderful, but is skinny as can be and can eat and eat and eat. He has a terrible sweet tooth too, so when he moved in, I no longer had control over what was in the house and went a little crazy. I gained back about 25 pounds, 10 of which are gone now. Before I got serious about the weight loss again, I had another coworker call me over and ask if I was still running. When I told him I was, he continued on about all the weight I had gained. Whoa! I thanked him very much for pointing that out to me and told him that I'd really had no idea I gained so much weight. (As if the clothes that no longer fit weren't a dead give away). Too bad the good come backs always come to you too late. I should've told him, "So what if I'm fat....you're UGLY. I can go on a diet!" Of course, I would never say that, but it sure makes you feel that way some time.

I guess the only thing to do with people like that is ignore them and just keep doing what we're doing. Actions really do speak louder than words.

Ann

Wow I am actually saddened that this wasn't just some bunch of jerks I have decided to be around that day. I guess people have a hard time being positive about others accomplishments because with every success they see is one they aren't attaining themselves. Does that make sense? Sort of making them feel bad about themselves. Well all I can say is too bad!!!!!

I went into old navy tonight and was eyeing up a pair of jeans. I was a size 18 or 20 last month. I needed new jeans so bad but I did not buy them so I went to WW instead.

Well tonight I picked up a 14 (yeah right!!) since they only had 20 and 12 as the other alternatives. I went in actually saying to myself I shouldn't try it because I am only going to discourage myself. Well they fit!!! I had heart failure. I went out to my husband and told him he was like OMG!!! So I went and got a different pair in case these wre labled wrong and they fit too!!!! So I got a new pair of jeans today WOOHOO!!!!!

Anyway, moral of the story is, that negative BBQ guy can kiss my STUPID tuckus!!!!! LOL!

Ladies,
It is absolutly SO sad that people in our lives can be so cruel! However, if you look past the talk and 'really' see what's in their heart it is most likely jelousy. I think the only way to not get caught by the lies your being told is to continue to reaffim your stand and let them know you appreciate their opinion but you believe something different! Afterwards.......grab 'em in a head lock and give 'em something to really think about....hehehe...just joking of course!
Congratulations to you all on your success and we can all be a walking testimony to "change is possible" Keep Going Strong!!!
Blessings, Bree

Bree - You are right. Through weight loss, it is really important to work on your own head space and continually reaffirm what you are doing, that you are being successful for you, and not to worry about others.

I can remember a story that a colleague told me some years ago. She wanted to go back to university and complete a Master's program in education. The fad at the time was to tell everyone you possibly could about goals that you were trying to achieve. The philosophy was that these people would keep you motivated and accountable. WRONG!!!!!

She found that, by telling everyone, rather than a few select who would indeed be support, many of the people began to sagotage her efforts. She did not complete here Master's at the time because of the efforts of her "friends." She noticed that when she abandoned the degree, these people became happier with her once she had abandoned her education.

For me, this story taught me to share my goals only with the people that can be a support to me AND to watch for people who are more than willing to sabotage my efforts. In my weight loss journey there were lost of people who are very happy to sabotage my work. If you find this happening, then stay away from those people, or, if that is not possible, don't tell them you are losing weight. If they eventually find out that you are on a weight loss program, be aware of the tactics that they are using to sabotage, then have a plan on how you will overcome their efforts.

You will succeed, in spite of the naysayers. Just keep focused and visualize how you feel, the look on people's faces, how you will look, etc. when the weight is gone. Enjoy the whole experience and congratulate yourself on small victories. This is hard work and worth every bit of the effort.

Isn't it sad we have to put up with fat taunts when we're fat, and pessimism when we lose. I guess we all have to be born a perfect BMI of 22. I have lost 50 pounds going from obese to normal, and so far no one has said I'll gain it back. However I have noticed that my fat coworkers won't even talk to me anymore. Yes, it IS jealousy, and I'm getting the silent treatment from the females at least. Maybe your circumstance is better than mine - your naysayers can motivate you to keep your weight off as you try and prove them wrong.

If you do it for your health, and not to fit in or impress, you'll succeed.

I may put some weight back on just to keep my husband off me- he won't leave me alone now and I can't read my novels!

I know where you are coming from.

WOW you guys are really an inspiration. I am so glad I started this thread!!! I find that people have "cliques" with everything. I noticed that even within small circles people who have things in common will gravitate towards each other. That is fine but the current trend of shredding people for doing good is disturbing. I had seen it at WW meetings where people talk about each other. Why do they go?

As far as I ma concerned lately I don't bring it up and the people who notice and want to say something nice usually do and those who don't have been keeping their mouths shut. Thank God LOL.

I just had to jump in here and add that when I lost weight (over 70 lbs.) I also lost my "best" friend. We'd always been binging buddies and she warned me that if I ever lost weight she'd never speak to me again. Guess what? She hasn't!! (Some friend....)