I've lost 20 pounds, and still have 36 to loose.
After 36 I'll still be overweight but it's my target weight, I don't plan to go below that, if my body will do it by itself ok but I'm not pushing below the 154 pounds. I hit the 20 pounds lost this weekend, I see, with my eyes I see I lost weight, that my legs are smalles, that my old jeans are too loose to walk, that my just two months old jeans are loose too, and that I fit in a pair of jeans I couldn't get in even squeezing, but I don't believe it.
I'm at the lowest weight I've been since I can remember because while getting fat I didn't weight at all, feard scales. I see I lost weight, but I don't believe it. I still think one day I'll wake up and fit into my old jeans, maybe they'll be tight too, who knows.
My counsellor said I still see myself as I was, that's very possible, but I don't know what to do really. I overate this weekend, I wasn't feasting for the weight loss, I was just out of control, frustrated. But frustrated with what? I should have been happy and I was frustrated? Because I don't believe it's true? When a scale and a pair of loose jeans agree I lost weight I still get myself frustrated because I don't believe it?
Just feel like my weight loss is an illusion and tomorrow morning I'll wake up fat as I've always been.