Despite my earnest attempt to re-enter the world of self accountability two months ago, I let life get in the way. At the end of January just days before my 34t birthday — and what was supposed to be the day my wife and I announced her pregnancy, she had a miscarriage. One that took four days of bouncing between hospitals & clinics and my wife going through a forced labor at home before resolving itself. She was 14 weeks in at the time — just into the second-trimester. The pregnancy itself was a victory as it took almost two-years of trying. In the weeks & months that have followed we have lost a grandfather to a tragic accident, an aunt to a two-year battle with lung cancer and had to put down our cat. If you have read my story or any of the back posts in my previous blog — you will know that eleven-years ago I lived through a similar chain reaction of crappy luck. The difference this time though was that I was going through it with somebody.
Needless to say I stopped looking at the scale. Fortunately I weigh the exact same as my previous weigh-in at the end of January, (312lbs.) Six-pounds less than when I came back to the world of dieting. This past week I made the realization that I was letting all of these above mentioned events act as an excuse and called my doctor. I have a track record of performing better with these kind of things when there is more than just myself that I am accountable to. A lucky decision as we made the discovery that my blood pressure was clocking in at 171/102 - way above norm — not good considering my previous heart condition. If we had taken it again right after I am sure it would have been even higher as the number scared the $#!% out of me.
I had made a promise to my self years ago that I would never let this happen again — but I did. To think that I could betray such a necessary declaration when at the time I was knocking on deaths door. How easy I have persistently slipped into a world of denial. It's scary - and it's a scary implication against my future.
I am choosing sundays as my weigh-in day this time around. I also have to monitor my blood pressure twice a day. I am asking my doctor to give me one month to try to lower this on my own. If I can't make any headway by then he can feel free to prescribe what ever he feels necessary.
I will not let history repeat itself (again.)
I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through so much. 
My heart really goes out to you. The fact that you regrouped and decided to continue losing weight speaks volumes about your ability to refocus and keep on going. I know I don't know you personally, but I am very proud of you. 
