My weigh in day is normally on Friday but I had a feeling I should weigh so reluctantly I went and stepped up to the plate.After everyone left I found I had gained 1 lb. which is really good considering I ate with everyone the whole time they were here. So really I was quite pleased. For everyone who struggles with the whole excercise bit......plateau's and so on. I have not waged a battle rather it was a war, a real war. I left for awhile after being totally OP for nearly 4 months with no results except the on and off water gain.I had become disheartened but I could not stay away for long and slinked back with a 14-16 lb. gain. I worked to hard to keep that going.
Darlin's today I finally reached a long held dream , wish, prayer, and yes even a scream to the whole universe ..........to be under 300 lbs. Today I weighed 299 1/2 !!!!!!!!!!!For the first time in 9 and 1/2 years I have moved the bottom weight over to 250 and moved up the scale. Three and 1/2 pounds down and finally under 300lbs again. This body was more resistant than words can tell to losing weight. My body thermostat was set between 305 and 315 and for a long while I yo-yoed badly up and down. I just stuck it out beyond reason and finally here I am. I put on a skirt I have not worn in 10 years and it is falling off of me so I will take it in. God only knows how many inches I have lost!!!!!
I went to a concert held a church and a Dear Lady I met quite a while ago ran up to me with a stunned expression on her face and said it can't be you. You are moving around like crazy and my God the weight you have lost! Was I thrilled or what. It was a long war but I have won. My next goal is 289 and then 250 followed by 238 the lowest weight I have been at in all my adult years! Next is below 200 someplace I have never been since I was 15 and I am 48.
Now Dears, I was not OP while my family was here. Not even close but I ran aroundthe three acres , picked blackberries worked in the garden, made beds cleaned like a crazy person and cooked wonderful things everyday. I ran around until I could not breathe. Had to sit for 10 minutes before I could breathe easily. My feet and legs swelled up and hurt but I did not stop just moved a little slower. I do not take for granted the ability to move, to walk, to run. I can't. I spent many years nearly bedfast. Unable to use my hands, unable to walk barely at all. No feeling in my legs from the hips down. I even know what it is not to be able to bathe myself , at one point to feed myself. But all heaven broke loose and I am a woman on the move, Large (in the finest sense) and in charge! Excercise has gotten me here a God blessed me with that. I want to share with you something, I have not brought up until now. Everyone knows how deeply I wanted to get to this goal I have prayed about it for quite a few years in fact. How I came to be on this board is a story in itself but I shall keep it short (God knows This posting isn't). After a day when I passed by the mirror and didn't recognise the face looking back at me, once again, I prayed hard. I fell asleep with the prayer on my lips. I dreamed I was looking through a huge stack of diet books, Planning, plotting trying to find something that would work for me.a soft yet booming voice resounded through me saying......Why do you as always for my help when you do nothing to help yourself? You want me to show my love but you show no love of that which I have created...you. I was shocked and a light of understanding went off in my head and my heart.
I held books up and spoke of what I could do. The air went very still around me it felt thick in an odd way. This you have done many times......it echoed in my mind. When will you learn child,
the voice stated with tenderness, I have given you each other for strength, angels in many forms to help you reach the stars if only you will reach out. I woke up with a start the words etched in my brain. I was confused at first but within a few minutes I got it, even my dull mind comprehended clearly the meaning. First I had to prove myself to myself and to my God sacrifice my physical wants for my good goals. Goals that would bring all my dreams to a reality beyond my wildest dreams,and I would have to reach out to all of you whom I went in search of. To understand, to lean on, to give back to when possible but most of all to know I am not alone in this. Now the real work begins for me but I rejoice that I can move and get tired , that I have the power to move and swell up and all the prices I am and will pay for all those years of being nearly bedfast. Atrophied muscles, nerves , tendons whatever. I thank God and I thank you that now my life begins. Yes I am going to hurt , swell, ache,and be breathless but everyday my strength is growing and flexabily is returning. I will happily take what ever my body can return to meand I promise to do my part to keep the cycle going. Thank you for having the patience to read all of this.
Pam

I don't know what it was exactly Pam, but reading your words brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you, and I am so proud of you. You are a wonderful person, and I am so glad I've had the chance to meet you.

200's are here Pam! It's only down from here, and were gonna be here rooting you on! *HUGS*

Hooray For Pam!! YIPPEEE!!! What a great post.. I am SO Proud of you girl!!! Now its on to 250 and below! I haven't seen them in a lonnnnggg time me-self!

YAY! I know that dream well, I'm glad you've seen yours come to light! I know it won't be long before you realize your next one, and the ones to follow

WAY TO GO!!!! Your doing an AWESOME JOB!!! I'm so happy for you. You've come such a long way, and just think, the best is yet to come!! Keep up the great work Pam!

YAAAHOOOOOO!!!!!!! *Jumping up and down*

I am sooooo excited for you!!! How awesome that you made this goal!! I am so proud of you.

Yes!! Yes!!! Yes!!!!

I knew you could do it. CONGRATULATIONS. You just keep up the awesome job!

incredibly fabulous news!!!!! all the hard work is paying off, and you're so on your way!!!!!

can you say... bikini?????????

THANK YOU,THANK YOU, THANK YOU she said bowing low.
I am so blessed to have you all. While I pat myself for my efforts I know from years of doing it by myself I would not have made it this far without you. God sent me very special angels indeed. So please take a bow for all the cheering on for always being there and for your tender loving concern for me when I had little for myself. You all are the best. LOve you all.
Jennifer, I appreciate your kind heart and know from the emotion you got exactly what I felt myself. I know you all did. God Bless each and everyone of you for being "My special angels"
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}
Pam

Wow. I am humbled. I was all ready to log on and post (read: whine) about how I don't seem to have any motivation and I can't seem to stay on track and yada yada yada. Well, Pam, you've given me my motivation. You're right. My body is a temple, but I've been treating it like a roach-infested crackhouse. I can continue to poison myself, or I can respect what God gave me.

Thank you for making it so crystal-clear for me.

You're doing awesome!! What incredible inspiration for us all Keep up the great work!

Roach Infested Crack House?

If that isn't a visual I don't know what is.

I think I have been treating my body like a McDonald's. Or a Wendy's more likely... or pick any building where lots of fat, sugar, and bad things are consumed!!!

Ooh, Beth, I know the feeling, my body has been a bakery for the last two days... bread and cookies THAT'S going to show Monday when I hop on the scales....

Pam, congratualtions. You are wonderful. I was feeling a bit down and you have given me some new energy.

Keep posting.....we can do this together.

Nickolas...... Yes my dear together we can do anything!!!

Something I wanted to share with you all. It is with crystal clarity that I realize how often we seem to have to drag ourselves through a day let alone exercise. We "have to " get this done and that , dread all that work we have to do, try to find an easy way to get around this or that or simply become overwhelmed and give up to sink into our couch potato syndrome and find lot's of "Goodies" to dull our feelings in general. Moving and exercising is a freedom. A freedom we so often take or granted as you know I have learned the hard way this simple and basic truth. Words take on meanings that we as a society give new meanings. Our meanings are usually totally incorrect and when seen through clear eyes is in no way what we think. Such as Responsibility. Which is often seen as a burden, something hard that we have to plod through. In reality it is another freedom , the freedom to choose and make decisions. One does not have to work ...you can choose to be a street person forever and do nothing but survive. Mind you many are there due to illness or awful circumstances. You can choose to love and seek it out, taking on the responsibility for another person and little ones to come.
We all make choises that is our God given right. I choose health and long life. I do not fear death but I do so love life with all it's problems, There is so much to see,to hear , so much to learn, so much to experience and so many to meet! You will never know what a difference you make to life but be assured each and everyone of us do. We all matter more than we could possibly know. Usually we never know. I choose life , fully completely and joyously. I relish the work and am thrilled to do it. I am happy to have the responsibilities I do. Mom , children of the fur, cooking, cleaning, bills and finance ( even when it is really hard). I thank God I am who and what I am flaws and all . I desire to be no other person on earth. Be it good bad or indifferent. This roller coaster we call life has very hard times indeed and painful ones but it is our vision of it that determines how well we deal with it all. We tend as humans to wallow in the pain and darkness when it comes and fly through the joy. I choose to fly through the pain and darkness and wallow in the joy. That doesn't mean not to feel and experience the hard and painful. I choose to own it and move through it , wallowing in each and every joy that comes my way. I have learned here from all of you that no matter what life can dish out and sometimes it is a great deal, to carry the joy with me always. I thank you for that. I knew that once but somewhere along the line that knowledge slipped away from me. I have it back. It is mine again thanks to all of you.
Pam

Thank you Pam...*HUGS*

Sometimes, there are no words. Thank you...