I've been "dieting" the past 3-4 years with no success. Well, I lose 20 pounds then gain it back. I guess it's cause I'm sick of dieting, calorie counting, looking at the scale. I maintain around 250 without trying. I'm never going back to starving again, which has always felt like the "real way to lose weight".

I don't want to diet anymore. I'm tired of obsessively planning new diets, losing some weight, then running into a holiday, some take-out, or just wanting to go out and eat some real food. I'm tired of being scared of holidays, the food in the kitchen without a calorie amount... I'm especially tired of wondering which number I should stick to, and knowing that amount is too little for my weight, and knowing that I'll be hungry and worried everyday.

I got a boyfriend, and he says I'm pretty, and that if I wanna lose weight I will, and that he'll help me. I still want to lose weight. I want to lose weight for my looks and my health. But... I'd also not like to diet, and I'd also like to cure my fears of food...whatever eating disorder I have. I want to eat normal.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend and his roommates. They drink occasionally, they get pizza occasionally, they go out to eat occasionally. I want to live my life NOW. I can't fathom passing all that up. I won't!! And I want to eat what I WANT to.

I looked up "How to eat normally" on google. It says to eat when you're hungry, eat what you like, try to make good choices, moderation, etc.

Does anyone out there just eat normal, without the calorie counting, without restricting themselves? Or are there any intuitive eaters out there?

Is it possible to lose weight like this? I'm scared that if I just eat "normally", which means that I eat what I want, but moderately, that I won't lose weight.

Has anyone ever done this?

I'm just... so very tired of dieting. I've been on a starving, wanting to starve, binging, overeating, dieting and over-compensation after dieting routine for 3-4 years. I can't do it anymore. But I also cannot stand not losing weight. My health depends on it, and I want it.

Any one with advice? Thoughts? Opinions?

Also, I am quite happy to be moving. I don't feel like I will be stress eating. I'd probably be happy-eating, though :P

Also, as a note, they don't have a scale at their house, and I feel like this is a good thing. I really, really just want to learn how to eat normally and be able to lose weight that way. I don't care how long it takes, I just don't want to diet anymore. I can't do the rule thing anymore.

We have an Intuitive Eating thread! Come join us

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156125

I think learning to truly pay attention to your hunger, and to your satiety, goes a very long way. But, you soon find out it's a lot harder than it sounds! It really is. But ... it is also so very rewarding. There's a book called Intuitive Eating, and other similar books and programs as well.

I think that eating "normal" to lose weight just won't work too well. Because what is normal for you and me is what made us overweight, you know? So even if you're eating "normal" it's probably going to feel like a diet.

WARNING" TOUGH LOVE AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK



Sweetie, I think that if you're one of the folks that can eat "normally" then you probably wouldn't be the weight that you are. Believe me, I'm right there with you. Right there.

We're all different of course, but I know for me the intuitive eating thing never, ever worked. I can't listen to my body. My body says, "EAT. EAT. EAT and EAT some more." I can't eat what I want when I want. Cause apparently I want a REAL LOT. Much more then is required for me to stay a healthy weight.

It's really something that you must accept, that you can't eat whatever you please AND be a healthy weight. It simply can not work that way.

Counting/tracking my calories is the only thing that works for me, as it FORCES me to stop eating and thererfore keeps me from OVEReating. I need a calorie budget. Just like I need a monetary budget.

You also say that you want to live your life NOW. Well, just how do you want to live it? What's more important to you? The food - or the healthy weight and all of it's incredulous benefits?

I think in order for this to "work" you really must stop thinking of this as some "diet" and try to adapt to a healthy lifestye, IF you want to be that healthy weight. With treats an every now and then occasion. Not an every day event. One has to carefully monitor they're caloric intake if they want to get to and remain a healthy weight. That's all there is to it. You need to create a "new normal". You also need to find healthy foods that you enjoy and are satisfying to you and don't leave you hungry and craving for more junk.

As far as having rules, well I NEED them. I have a lifetime condition known as complusive overeating. It is my issue. It can never be cured, but luckily it CAN be managed. That's why I need to carefully monitor my food intake and why I've created rules for myself. I don't ever want to be morbidly obese again. Without rules, food laws that I must adhere to, what's to stop me from overeating? What's to stop me from worsening my condition? We've got rules about most things in life - why not with the most important thing there is - our health?

I wasn't born or raised with good/healthy eating skills. So I had to invent some of my own.

The truth is, I was never ever happy when I was eating all that food. IT didn't make me happy and what it DID to me (make me fat and feeling horrible most of the time) certainly didn't make me happy.

And though this may not seem normal to most, it is what is needed to keep my condition at bay. There's a lot at stake if I don't adhere to a healthy lifestyle. To mention a few - my good health, my self esteem, my future, my well being and my happiness.

Yes, that would be me. I never dieted in my life and I decided not to diet when I started my weight loss journey in February of this year. But, I exercise a lot and is the main reason why I am losing weight. I am not dieting, but that also does not mean that I allow myself to eat anything I see or anything I crave. It took me a good half year, if not longer, to curb my unsatiable hunger (and I mean just hunger, not cravings for junk). I am exercising portion control and eat VERY HEALTHY (google "clean eating"). I will tell you right away that I would not be able to live with a guy and his roommates who are into takeouts or eat out, etc. I am not if my will power would be strong enough - it probably would be strong enough to stick to reasonable eating for 75% of the time but the rest of the time I would probably give in to temptations. Hard to say - haven't been in that situation.
I live by myself so there is no junk in the house (I simply don't buy it and I now, fortunately, I don't even crave it) and I make all my meals. I do occasionally eat out, but even when I eat out I tried to make healthy choices (although it does not always happen). However, I don;t eat out often enough for it to have a major impact on my nutrition.

You may want to think really hard about how you are going to handle it. Sure, I understand your desire to live your life, but often we have to make difficult choices. I just worry that if you "join the party", so to speak, not only you will not lose, you will gain weight. Especially if there is no scale (aren't you planning to bring your own?)

Well, here's the thing, "normal" is subjective for one and two, there's no such thing really IMO. If and when you are ready, get healthy. No one can make you do it, you honestly have to be ready on your own. Otherwise, it never works. That said, good luck in whatever you decide. Just eat right for YOU.

I'm with Robin.

Here's my I Hate Diets rant from my blog. Maybe it'll help you out some!

I don’t diet.

Not only that - I don’t believe in “diets”. I hate the very idea of diets. I hate the concept that you can “start” eating some way and lose weight and then “stop” eating that way and expect it to all be magically ok. I hate the idea that you have to restrict yourself to be on a “diet” and that you have to suffer. I hate the idea that if you eat something you want you’ve “cheated” or you’ve “failed” or you’ve “fallen off the wagon”.

A diet is something that ends and then you go back to your old way of life and gain weight again.

I’m also of the belief that if you deprive yourself of the things you want and the things you love, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Because eventually you’re going to FEEL deprived, and then you’re going to give up and say “to **** with it”.

The only thing that really works, long term, is to make a permanent change in your life - to the way you eat, the way you exercise, and your entire mindset/outlook on your health. Anything else is just, IMO, a temporary fix and will collapse as soon as you go “off” your diet.

For me that means calorie counting, eating whole foods and avoiding processed foods as much as possible, and exercise. I try to stay within a range of calories (1500 +/-). I eat whole foods and natural foods. I avoid packaged and processed foods as much as possible. I try to exercise every day - although only maybe 4-5 days a week is actually going to the gym and exercising. Other days I try to exercise at home or by getting out and being active.

Even more: I am not forbidden to eat anything. I eat for life. And in my life there are going to be french fries. There are going to be dinners at the Mexican restaurant with chips and queso. There are going to be birthday cakes. There are going to be office events with bagels and donuts and muffins. That’s life.

That means that I look at the calories I’ve consumed for the day and I see if I can have a brownie. If I can, I do. Or even 1/2 a brownie. And I enjoy it. If I can’t have one tonight, I make room in my calories for one tomorrow - maybe for a morning snack. And then I have something to look forward to. Really, one brownie? One brownie is about 180 calories. Most people can fit that in as a snack if they really really really want it.

I honestly and truly believe that diets don’t work. What works is creating a lifestyle that’s conducive to being healthy and active. I have made significant changes in my life over the last 2 years; in what I eat, in the way I eat, in the amount of exercise I get. And there is nothing in my mind that says “I’m on a diet” … because I’m not. I’m just eating what I eat.

And doing so has allowed me to lose 75 pounds and keep it off for nearly 2 years now.

.

Hey Gamer!

I think it may be possible to "eat normally"--that is, not overeat, eat only enough but not too little, enjoy one's foods, etc. So keep in mind that it is possible...

That said, though, those of us who struggle with weight are often trying to guess at what is normal. We could be unclear on this for a bunch of reasons. Bad habits from younger times. Eating disorder behavior. Metabolism slowing down over time. Too much fattening food available cheaply. A culture that says you're not having a good time unless you're overeating. And so on.

The reasons perhaps aren't as important as getting over the effects by changing what you do.

So, you'll have to find out what "normal" eating is. Many sites can tell you what a proper portion is for different foods. Here's one:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/SPC/co...d_Portions.asp

Here's another one:

http://www.aarp.org/health/staying_h...es_matter.html

The point is, if you're used to eating half a pizza, then having a serving of pizza (= one slice) is going to feel like not enough at first. So you have to be prepared for that. "Normal" is not going to be half a pizza or more.

3FC folks do know how tiring it is to "diet," so a lot try to frame it in some other way. A healthy food program. A weight-loss strategy. Choose any terms you like. But I am pretty sure that at least when you first start out, you'll have to experience some uncomfortable feelings of eating differently.

I do wish you the best as you approach this. NOW is the time for you to get your weight under control, dear Gamer! Because it does not get easier later on... I'm really sure about that.

Check out the Intuitive Eating thread and see what you think.


Jay

I think, for me, it would take a lot of work to get to that mental state. I'm probably going to calorie count even when I'm a maintainer, until I get a firm understanding of what I need to maintain.

If you can do it, though, it would be amazing and probably very low stress. I would recommend becoming very well educated in the amount of calories in various foods (if you aren't already), so the hidden calories don't take you down.

That's exactly what most of us maintainer's here at 3FC do. We're STILL counting/tracking our calories. It's what gives us the turn off switch. It's what tells us - food allotment's up. It's what keeps us accountable. Period.

I do intend to fully change some habits. I'm trying to drink more water, less diet sodas cause those make me wanna eat when I'm not hungry. I want to keep fast food to a minimum, and I want to put in exercise. But the thing that is killing me is the counting, the worrying, and the guilt tripping I do when I have a structured "program".

I also know that "normal" eating isn't eat as much as I want. I'm working on my portions right now.

You see, I know I need to lose weight, but... I want to turn down food not cause I HAVE to cause I have a limit, but because I'm not hungry or I don't want it. For the first time in about 4 years I'm feeling GOOD, and I'm eating what everyone else is eating... And for the first time I actually finished dinner with food left in my bowl. I can honestly say I didn't want it.

Anyway, so as not to ramble, I WILL check out the intuitive eating thing, cause that's as close to what I'm doing...

But, I did step on the scale and I'm not going up in weight... I've actually lost a pound or two, and I know I ate things I wouldn't have normally eaten had I been dieting...

This honestly feels like I'm changing my habits for the first time, in a healthy way, working on how I eat now...

I think this is the only way for me. Well, for anyone who has other advice for me on intuitive eating, let me know! I'm going to head on over there when I get back (I find myself doing more things and getting out now that I feel like I'm in control and not fearing things).

Thanks to those people who are always there, and for putting up with me! You guys really are really sweet ladies.

I know exactly how you feel - EXACTLY.

Unfortunately, eating intuitively doesn't really work for me. I find myself letting go way more and eating chocolate/chips because I "intuitively" feel that's what I need at that moment, lol.

No seriously, the way I am eating right now I consider "normal". But guess what - I'm not losing weight.

The way I eat when I am on Weight Watchers I consider "less than normal". But guess what - I lose weight.

But what I really feel is probably working for you is that you are just LETTING GO of the fight. Sometimes fighting something so hard does the opposite of what you want it to. you just have to be careful to not overdo it.

Good luck!
~CGH~

I wish the intuitive eating thing worked for me but it just .... doesn't. I spent too many of my adult years learning to override my body's signals. I can't rely on my internal cues any more. My internal cues would have me diving face first into the candy jar. Plus, all of the cues around me (ads, friends, etc) are completely distorted. So, I have to write everything down, count calories, and stay within my allotment. That's the only way I can maintain.

Signed, ME!

I wish being intuitive worked for me. But 20 years of overeating, eating the wrong things, etc. have screwed up my intuition when it comes to food. It's taken me 2 years to get to the point that I can recognize a real serving size and even then I still sometimes have to fight the urge to eat more than that.

I am one of those people for whom intuitive eating is not possible - at least not right now and maybe not ever.

That's ok. I'm ok with measuring and being watchful. I'm ok with actively thinking about what I eat, rather than winging it. I'm not sure at this point that I *want* to eat any other way.

.

Signed me too!!!

Sign me here as well.

For me there is no other way to stay slim and fit. And I gotta tell you, I really LIKE being slim and fit. So I'm also okay with monitoring, tracking, counting and all that. And I do believe it WILL be forever. Or at least til I'm somewhere in the 80's, G-d willing. Then maybe, just maybe I can ease up - a bit.