I absolutely relate, too.
I'd be fine all day at work (didn't want anyone to actually
see me eating) and then I drive by the grocery store on the way home from work. I would start thinking of what I'd buy hours before the day was over...it made me
happy. I'd get home before my husband and I would consume massive amounts of food - bags of chips with jars of queso cheese, entire packs of oreos, pints of ice cream, boxes of crackers. I'd basically eat ALL of what I just bought because I didn't want my husband to see a box of crackers half eaten that wasn't there the day before...so I'd eat them all and leave no evidence.
I was 36, 5'6 and 231 pounds...and gaining steadily.
It pains me to read posts like yours because I've had that thought so many times! I'm doing better...not perfect (I still do binge once in awhile) - but I'm 100x better than I was just 4 months ago. Please don't give up!!!!
