I have days, where I feel like a total loser, today, is one of those days

  • I don't mean to self loave, but I just got back from a wedding shower for my sister. I am SO SO happy for her, but I can't help but think that everyone around looks at me and says, "what's wrong with her, that she doesn't have anyone special" including my family, though, I know they would NEVER say anything or make me feel like that. I do that all on my own. It certianly isn't easy being the oldest, and the last one standing. I'm also wicked shy, which keeps me away from guys, even ones that show an interest. I end up falling for guys that in reality would be very hard for me to get, ei: they live far far away. I don't know if I think that would hurt less than if someone close by broke my heart or what. I want to share my life with someone, always have, it's just never happened. I'm also worried about what guys will say when they find out my lack of past relationships. It's just mind numbing somedays. But seriously, I go to this shower, for my sister, who I adore and love, and put on my happy face for her while looking around at a bunch of ppl younger who are married, have babies or at least with someone, and I can't help but think,.....woe is me.
  • Well, I love you, and I'm very proud of you! Someday you'll find that other person that takes your breath away!
  • Aww Born! I think it's safe to say plenty of women feel like this... and many people don't find the right people till they're much older! It just takes a little time sometimes, you sound like such an amazing person. Chin up! If the men don't start catching on then you know where to find me! :P Seriously though, nothing wrong with you!
  • I totally know what that feels like i am having a half day like that today..
    Keep your head up and know that you are someone and that someday when it is time you will meet someone for you.
    CONGRATS on all the weight you have lost as well!!


  • its so much better to meet that perfect one even if its later on.

    remember that little rhyme x


  • BornToFly, I could have written your post almost word-for-word!

    That being said, I can't offer any advice about how to fix it because I am in the same boat, unfortunately. All I can say is just try to be happy with what you have, and don't dwell on what others have (and that you want).

    It's easier said than done sometimes, I know. Especially when things like weddings and babies come along. Sigh. It's hard to put on that happy face for someone else who is happily parading around with what you want (and can't seem to have).

    All I can do is go on with things and be happy with what I do have. For me, that means being happy with the freedom I enjoy --there's no one to be accountable to but myself for anything. I can go anywhere and do anything I want at anytime without checking with someone else about it. I am happy about the friends and family I have who I can share good times with. I am happy about having a good job, a home of my own, and so on.

    Maybe someone will come along for me one day, and maybe no one will. Maybe it's just my lot in life to go through it alone. Who knows? All I can do is keep living my life, be happy with the things I do have, and keep my eyes out for that tall cowboy on the horizon.
  • Thanks everyone for the kind words, it really does help. It's been a rough week. I've been helping my sister with a lot of her wedding planning, and will be again tonight. Only a reminder that she is 5 years younger than me and getting married where I am closing in on 30 and can't seem to even find a guy. I am thankful for what I have, and I do have lots of wonderful family and friends, but it would sure be nice to have someone to share those experiences with. It's just SOOOO hard to meet ppl at my age.