Dear Dad

  • A Father Passing By His Son's Bedroom Was Astonished To See The
    >bed Was Nicely Made And Everything Was Picked Up. Then He Saw An
    >envelope Propped Up Prominently On The Centre Of The Bed. It Was
    >addressed, "dad" With The Worst Premonition, He Opened The
    >envelope And Read The Letter With Trembling Hands:
    >
    >
    >
    >dear Dad,
    >
    >it Is With Great Regret And Sorrow That I'm Writing This.
    >
    >i Had To Elope With My New Girlfriend Because I Wanted To Avoid A
    Scene
    >with Mum And You.
    >
    >i've Been Finding Real Passion With Barbara And She Is So Nice Even
    With
    >all Her Piercing, Tattoos, And Her Tight Motorcycle Clothes.
    >
    >but It's Not Only The Passion, Dad - She's Pregnant And Barbara
    Assures Me
    >that We Will Be Very Happy. Even Though You Don't Care For Her Since
    She Is
    >so Much Older Than I Am, She Already Owns A Trailer In The Woods And
    Has A
    >stack Of Firewood Enough For The Whole Winter. She Wants To Have Many
    More
    >children With Me And That's Now One Of My Dreams Too.
    >
    >barbara Taught Me That Marijuana Doesn't Really Hurt Anyone And We'll
    Be
    >growing It For Ourselves And Trading It With Her
    >friends For All The Cocaine And Ecstasy We Need.
    >
    >in The Meantime, We Pray That Science Will Find A Cure For Aids So
    That
    >barbara Can Get Better; She Sure Deserves It!!
    >
    >don't Worry, Dad, I'm 15 Years Old Now And I Know How To Take Care Of
    >myself. Someday I'm Sure We'll Be Back To Visit So You Can Get To Know
    Your
    >grandchildren.
    >
    >your Son, John.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >p.s. Dad, None Of This Is True. I'm Over At Billy's House. I Just
    Wanted To
    >remind You That There Are Worse Things In Life Than My
    >report Card Which Is In My Desk Centre Drawer.
    >
    >i Love You!
    >ps:call When It's Safe For Me To Come Home
  • That is awesome!!!
  • OMG! That was so funny~!~ At first I thought wow this is depressing. When I read the P.S O'boy~If that were my child, boy he'd be grounded til he got married lol!


  • Hahaha, that's great!
  • Oh, I loved that one. I had a variation to it saved in my email program, which is funny as well:

    Dear Mum and Dad,

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've
    eloped
    with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice,
    especially
    with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle.

    But it is not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be
    very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more
    children with me and that is one of my dreams.

    I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing
    it
    for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the
    cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.

    In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure so
    Ahmed
    gets

    better. He deserves it. Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged
    for
    me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their
    basement.
    Apparently I can earn $50 a scene and I get a $50 bonus if there are
    more
    than three men in the scene, and an extra $100 if they use a horse.
    Don't worry Mum, now I'm 15 years old I know how to take care of
    myself.

    Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your
    grandchildren.

    Your loving daughter,


    Amy













    P.S Dad, it's not true, I'm at a neighbors house. I just wanted to
    show
    you that there are worse things in life than denting the car.

    Sorry about your BMW.