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Old 03-26-2008, 04:08 AM   #1  
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Default Dear Dad

A Father Passing By His Son's Bedroom Was Astonished To See The
>bed Was Nicely Made And Everything Was Picked Up. Then He Saw An
>envelope Propped Up Prominently On The Centre Of The Bed. It Was
>addressed, "dad" With The Worst Premonition, He Opened The
>envelope And Read The Letter With Trembling Hands:
>
>
>
>dear Dad,
>
>it Is With Great Regret And Sorrow That I'm Writing This.
>
>i Had To Elope With My New Girlfriend Because I Wanted To Avoid A
Scene
>with Mum And You.
>
>i've Been Finding Real Passion With Barbara And She Is So Nice Even
With
>all Her Piercing, Tattoos, And Her Tight Motorcycle Clothes.
>
>but It's Not Only The Passion, Dad - She's Pregnant And Barbara
Assures Me
>that We Will Be Very Happy. Even Though You Don't Care For Her Since
She Is
>so Much Older Than I Am, She Already Owns A Trailer In The Woods And
Has A
>stack Of Firewood Enough For The Whole Winter. She Wants To Have Many
More
>children With Me And That's Now One Of My Dreams Too.
>
>barbara Taught Me That Marijuana Doesn't Really Hurt Anyone And We'll
Be
>growing It For Ourselves And Trading It With Her
>friends For All The Cocaine And Ecstasy We Need.
>
>in The Meantime, We Pray That Science Will Find A Cure For Aids So
That
>barbara Can Get Better; She Sure Deserves It!!
>
>don't Worry, Dad, I'm 15 Years Old Now And I Know How To Take Care Of
>myself. Someday I'm Sure We'll Be Back To Visit So You Can Get To Know
Your
>grandchildren.
>
>your Son, John.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>p.s. Dad, None Of This Is True. I'm Over At Billy's House. I Just
Wanted To
>remind You That There Are Worse Things In Life Than My
>report Card Which Is In My Desk Centre Drawer.
>
>i Love You!
>ps:call When It's Safe For Me To Come Home
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Old 03-26-2008, 08:28 AM   #2  
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That is awesome!!!
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Old 03-26-2008, 08:33 AM   #3  
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OMG! That was so funny~!~ At first I thought wow this is depressing. When I read the P.S O'boy~If that were my child, boy he'd be grounded til he got married lol!
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Old 03-29-2008, 10:51 PM   #4  
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Hahaha, that's great!
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Old 03-31-2008, 10:49 AM   #5  
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Oh, I loved that one. I had a variation to it saved in my email program, which is funny as well:

Dear Mum and Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've
eloped
with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice,
especially
with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle.

But it is not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be
very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more
children with me and that is one of my dreams.

I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing
it
for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the
cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.

In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure so
Ahmed
gets

better. He deserves it. Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged
for
me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their
basement.
Apparently I can earn $50 a scene and I get a $50 bonus if there are
more
than three men in the scene, and an extra $100 if they use a horse.
Don't worry Mum, now I'm 15 years old I know how to take care of
myself.

Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your
grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,


Amy













P.S Dad, it's not true, I'm at a neighbors house. I just wanted to
show
you that there are worse things in life than denting the car.

Sorry about your BMW.
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