Hi I am going to try to post here regularly now, for some accountability.
I have been doing a lot better this time doing BFL on the nutrition, but I am falling into a pattern of a lack of planning.
Ex: Yesterday, I planned to go to lunch with a friend and her little girl. I did great!! I had a grilled Chick breast with a green salad, water, and a half a slice of whole wheat toast, instead of the home made rolls that come with. I was drinking water all day - no prob.
Well, after that I spent the afternoon hanging out with them, playing, etc. Suddenly I realized, "Hey, I haven't eaten! ANd I have all these errands to run, etc. I was having so much fun playing, the hours slipped away, and although I didn't notice being hungry, I started to develop a headache, a sure sign that I had gone too long w/o food.
Some days (not often), when I am out running around, this happens to me. THE "OLD" Beth, would have stopped to grab a coke and anything else handy at a quick mart .
I could not allow myself to do this, which is a good thing, however, I fall into this pattern of not eating enough. i am so trained to not eat unless I'm REALLY hungry. I also had already eated one meal out, and I did not want to have to eat restaraunt food 2x in one day!
In the end because of my poor timing/planning, I only had 4 meals the whole day!! And probably not enough in my last meal.
I KNOW I JUST HAVE TO HAVE A PLAN! However, I HATE

HATE , feeling like a slave to my food, that it controls everything I do !! The feeling of being overwhelmed with having to plan ALL the time has caused me to get mad and quit every "diet" I have ever tried.
I realize that if I plan correctly, I will feel more in control. But sometimes, I just want to LIVE, and NOT have to be so much in control of EVERYTHING! The "lunch date" was a spontaneous
decision. I only had an hour to get showered and meet her, and I had no idea how long I would be gone. I did not anticipate the need to pre- prepare a meal.
Just a vent!! I feel better now~

I have come a long way in terms of developing discipline. I did not do anything dumb like have a "grease fest" of fries and a burger, that is progress~ For me the struggle is...
How can one be disciplined, yet spontaneous when you have to eat every 3 hours like a newborn baby? My option of not eating is not a good one, I know.
Finally, I know this is all about the journey, not the destination. I will figure this out, and I will have to "overplan" (yuck) and be prepared for anything.
Thanks for listening. This was really a long rambling mess~
Beth