Howdy maintainers,

Are you asked this question frequently by friends and strangers alike? When they observe your healthy food choices, do they automatically assume you're trying to lose weight and then make comments like, "You don't need to lose weight!" ?

I had this happen to me today. The GF and I went to Texas Roadhouse and the waitress (who was actually a really sweet girl) heard me order the grilled BBQ chicken with fresh vegetables and a house salad (dressing on the side) and asked me, "Are you trying to lose weight? Because you TOTALLY don't NEED TO... you have a REALLY GOOD figure!" I smiled, said thank you, and metioned that I'd like to keep it that way. I get comments like this often and these days, I usually just say that I'm into making healthy choices (and sometimes I throw in that I just don't want to *gain* weight)

What do you say when people ask you if you're trying to lose weight?

Shane, I've had people make the same comments to me. I usually just respond with "I'd like to keep it that way". I don't elaborate that I used to be obese/overweight.

"I don't elaborate that I used to be obese/overweight."
neither do I; it's no one's business! All they need to know is that I'm NOT fat NOW.

More frequently I get wistful looks and "I wish I ate as well as you..."

Which cracks me up no end because it isn't as though any one food is forced upon us. What we put in our mouths is completely our own choice!

I've actually had the distinct pleasure of choosing the food for both our property management christmas party (which is finger food) and our staff christmas party (which is sit down) - so for at least two functions they WILL get to eat like me lol.

That cracks me up too! Or they'll say "I wish I ran all the time like you do," and I want to say "What's stopping you?" I remember once someone said to me, "I wish I read as much as you do." Now that one I really can't figure out. Who's stopping her from picking up a book? She sure has time to watch TV!

I get the "You're not still trying to get skinnier, are you?" thing all the time, with these horrified looks, as if I'm emaciated. For God's sake, I'm still QUITE a sturdy girl! I just look odd to them because they were so used to me being obese.

This for me goes along with "You dont need to lose weight, you LOOK great".

Who ever said LOOKS had anything to do with why I was trying to lose weight? Is it SO unreasonable that there might be other motivations besides LOOKS? Quite frankly, looks are very close to the bottom of my list.

And also "Why are you trying to lose weight you are NOT FAT". No, I am not, and I never said I was....even when I WAS . But I am not skinny either. Not that I want to be skinny - but there is a large window between FAT and SKINNY and I would like to be somewhere on the slender side of it.

OK, I am a BIT touchy on this subject but mostly because I am on another board (not a weight board) and if I say I want to lose weight - even when I was 180 I got those comments, but when one of the 5'8 122 lb gals say they are "so fat" noone even blinks - they get sympathy. I dont get it.

Shane, I used to be like that too. Just tell them, yeah I need to eat like this to stay this way. But sometimes I get so fed up that I turn obnoxious and slap my before picture (which I keep in my purse) down on the table and say, "any questions?"

I'll never forget right after I started running this past summer, there were a couple of girls walking out of a store that I ran past. I just remember hearing one of them say in a snotty voice "Skinny little b***h!" Nice huh? So what I'm thinking is getting a t-shirt with my before picture on it and wear it while I run. .....Yeah, probably not.

The first time a nasty girl at a bar called me a "skinny b***h" I immediately went back to our table and giddily told all my friends that some girl called me "skinny." It made my night!

Well, I think if it was a waitress or someone I didn't know that asked me that, I would have answered something like you did. Though, with my family and friends, I'm hearing this ALLLL the time. Along with the comments about being too thin and gross, etc. Way to be supportive, eh!

Anyway, at this point, I've decided to put away my scale because I'm changing my goals. I don't necessarily care what the numbers on the scale say b/c I'm working on overall recomp. I don't care what the scale ends up saying when I get to the body fat goal that I have now. So, I usually explain something like that to them. No, I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to reshape my body by losing fat and gaining muscle.

I get that a lot and actually my family thinks I do it to make them feel bad. Its tough going out to eat with my family without them bringing up my food choices. They are all overweight and most are diabetic and I think they pick on me because they feel I am doing it on purpose. I don't want them to feel bad about themselves I just don't want to end up with their same fate. I wish they knew I was eating like that in front of them as an example to show them that they still have time to turn it around, but food is such a big part of our family time that they take it as a sign of disrespect.

I rarely get the comments most of you guys have that praise my good habits and dedication.

Recently a friend who is about 5'10" and maybe 120 pounds soaking wet commented on my weight loss, and actually said, "Now, don't go too low, you don't want to get too thin!" I assured her that I am still overweight, thank you very much!

But what I don't get is, why would someone that thin be expressing that to someone clearly still overweight? Is it just a reflex, knee-jerk comment?

As for the waitress, I think I would have said, "Do you have a problem with my meal choices?" I mean, who needs waitstaff to be monitoring one's food!!! Is this supposed to be a good thing?

Jay

It's because they have never walked in our shoes and they don't know what they are saying.

In my experience the skinny gals are the MOST likely to make comments like that. My 5'8" 117 lb friend told me I didnt need to lose weight when I was still 160 lbs (5'3") and that I would look anorexic at 135 because she honestly and truly thought I looked "about the same as her" at 160.

xFatKidx - come back and post in the Maintenance forum anytime you feel alone within your family because you're making healthy choices so that you don't end up with diabetes or a slew of other concerns.

Jay, you crack me up so much

It IS weird how many SKINNY people say things like, "Don't lose too much weight! You don't want to be TOO THIN!" when the more overweight ones say stuff like, "YEAH GIRL! Keep on GOING! LOSE that weight!" I have a few overweight friends and acquaintances who have told me that they are losing weight vicariously through me.

And Jay, what if you're not CLEARLY overweight? 148 is not THAT big on a 5'4" person and is only overweight by, what, 3-5 pounds?

The waitress was sweet, really. She meant well. She was about my size, maybe a little bit bigger (definitely had a higher % body fat than me though, but I've found that most do ), and clearly a college student. Honestly, most college students I know have VERY BAD eating habits and think anyone who eats healthy things must be on a diet.

scgirl and Libby, I haven't been called a skinny b*tch since I was... well, a skinny b*tch! Lucky girls!