I'm not writing this to be congratulated -- I've already had so much support from you guys. It seems lately that I'm always writing posts about something I've accomplished and I don't want you to think I'm looking for compliments. I'm just at that part of my journey where I'm very close to my goal. My purpose in this post is to share what I've learned this past year and I hope that it will inspire someone who may be struggling a little or may think the road ahead is just too long or too difficult.
On July 18, 2006, I woke up and weighed myself. The scale said 275. I'd decided the day before that I would try counting WW points again. I got the new materials from a friend who was going to the meetings, and I already knew what to do. Part of me thought this was it, that I was really going to make it this time. But another part of me remembered the hundreds of times I'd thought that in the past, only to be disappointed when I gave up again and went back to my old ways. Oh well, I thought. Here I go again.
It was getting hard for me to walk around at that weight. That day I probably put on some 2x sweatpants that were tight in the waist and a 3x men's t-shirt that clung to my belly. I don't know if I exercised that day, because I didn't start logging that until August, but if I did it would've been a 20-minute walk and I would've struggled to get through it.
Today I got up at 5:45 and put on size 12 running shorts and a large size t-shirt from one of the races I did in the spring. There was enough room under it to strap my fuel belt on with 2 bottles of water. My sister-in-law met me here to run the first 3 miles with me, and then she got in her car and I finished the other 6 miles to complete my 9-mile run. It was difficult and it took an hour and 51 minutes, but it wasn't even the longest run I'll do this week. When I got back, I weighed myself and the scale said 169.
When I think back to the person I was a year ago, I want her to be able to see into the future, to see the me that's running down the road and thinking back over all she's accomplished. Even with that part of myself that believed I could do it, I would never have imagined that a year later I'd be training for a half marathon, buying size 10 pants, and mulling over a decision to be a cross country coach. I'm sad for that girl I was a year ago, because she had no idea what she could be.
On my run today, I heard pieces of songs on my iPod that really spoke to where I am today. One song said "challenge what your future holds" and that's exactly what I did. I was looking at a future of laziness, obesity, shame, and eventually illness. Now I'm looking at a future of health and happiness. That same song said "solve the puzzles in your own sweet time." That made me think quite a bit about how we often regret not doing this sooner. I started this journey when I was 34, which means I spent my twenties and half my thirties living as an obese woman. But for whatever reason, I wasn't ready to do it until now. There's no need to worry about WHY that's true -- it just is. I took my own sweet time getting here, and now I just want to enjoy the fact that I'm HERE. I was a skinny kid, a chubby teenager, and an obese adult. Now I'm a healthy, athletic adult. These are all just parts of the story of my life, and as much as I would prefer NOT having been obese, I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned. I'm grateful for knowing what I can accomplish and how strong I really am.
Another song said "the rest is still unwritten." I can do whatever I want with my future. I could even go back to my old ways, stop running, eat whatever I want, and go back to being heavy. Lots of people do that, and I can certainly see how it happens. Or I can keep running, get stronger, get down to my healthiest possible weight, and accomplish all my goals. After this past year, I know what I can do, and it's totally up to me to do it. And if you're reading this and you're struggling now or you think you can't keep up the good habits long enough to see these changes, trust me: the time passes fast, and your life gets better every single day.
What a fantastic post -- reading it sent chills down my spine. I've lived the dream too and you captured the whole experience perfectly. I know that a year from now you'll be right back here, telling us about your successful half-marathon and your fabulous life as a slim, athletic woman. 
