I'm just 4 weeks from having my RNY, and I'm having feelings of anxiety and worry about what I will be giving up. Seem to be concentrating more on what I will be giving up than what the result for the rest of my life will be. I understand the WLS is just a tool and after following so many of your sagas, I'm a little nervous about how I will cope without one of best friends, FOOD! I think that I have failed so many times with weightloss, that I can't see there being good results. I've been so disciplined in so many aspects of my life, I have just not been able to get a handle on food. Did anyone else here experience any of this stuff? My DH keeps saying, "You don't have to do this you know." I can't see any other way for me to sustain a weightloss; believe me I've tried. I'm not usually a nervous person, but have been rather short of temper and very edgy the last few weeks. I keep having thoughts that I'll go into surgery and something will happen and doctor won't be able to perform the RNY. What the heck is going on with me?

I can understand going into surgery is a very difficult thing and maybe it is part of your mental state that you are nervous about the surgery itself? Or maybe you aren't ready for the changes the surgery will force upon you?

My question to you would be, do you love your food more than you hate being overweight?

I will also say that I failed for many years trying to lose weight but then one day I had a mentality change that helped me get over some of my mental hurdles and start losing the weight. So I will say just because you have "failed" in the past to lose weight doesn't mean that you will always "fail". I personally think of every weight loss attempt I've ever had as a learning experience.

I will admit I love food, a lot. I have just learned to control myself enough to lose weight throughout the past few years. I've learned to love healthier foods as well as I've learned that I can eat some things once in a while and I don't have to have large portions. Even though I've lost a considerable amount of weight, I still struggle nearly every day with food.

My advice is if you have doubts, perhaps think about postponing the surgery? I don't know if you've talked with a professional about your feelings and possibly the gals here could tell you that the feelings you are going through are natural. No matter how you lose the weight, you will need to deal with food issues as you lose weight as well as when you are maintaining your weight loss.

I'm sorry you're feeling nervous. I'm facing the same thing. I think Nelie makes excellent points. Keep us updated on how you are doing. Remember, your weight isn't who you are. You are a lovely person and people love you no matter what. Good luck!

Being nervous is normal so nothing is wrong

When you see the results... food won't be your friend anymore...shopping for new clothes and feeling good will be

Take a deep breath and say to yourself..... you can do this, and its going to be good !!! When those negative thoughts start to overwhelm you, try to think positive. I know its hard, and I know its scary but its worth it. Your life is worth it !!!

hang in there hon.

You guys, thank you so much for your suggestions and support. I'm calmer today. I have had to start a two protein shakes a day and a lowfat, lowcarb, supper without snacking and of course it has freaked me out. I have to have an open RNY because of previous surgeries and other difficulties and I'm not looking forward to that! I remember on "Big Medicine" last night, the guy who had the lower body lift, that he mentioned something in regards to food about "killing his best friend a.k.a. FOOD." I know this is right for me, but in the back of my mind I keep saying "You will have to fight just as hard with the WLS, than why can't you do it without the WLS." I'm 56 y/o and haven't succeeded without the RNY so far. I am looking forward to better health and mobility; rejoining in life instead of being an observer. Need to keep these things in my mind instead of so much negativity. Thank you for letting me vent!

Nancy - trust me on this - i'm not telling you what to do or how to live your life - and this is meant simply as a suggestion, but <unfortunately> it's based on personal experience.

While all these ladies are right, bottom line, you're gonna have to figure out how to live without 'eating your emotions.' Many of us have needed to turn to therapy for this. SOOOO, if you're having issues with the food, please don't think you're a FAILURE - it simply means that you may need help figuring out how to cope with a whole new set of rules and reactions.

and first things first - most of us have had to substitute something for the boredome and stress eating. Exercise is an excellent choice. Knitting works for me as well [i need to keep my hands busy!]

you're talking about a real issue here - with many many layers. it'll take time and lots of practice, and perhaps some outside help, to figure it out.

Hey Nancy
I'll say one thing. Not eating your emotions is scary! But at the same time while it's scary to face how you feel (and why) its soo much better in the long run! I love food I mean To the point where I want to be on the food network love food. Food does not love me and it's not my friend. I had bypass in september.I am by no means perfect. But not being able to eat my feelings while it has been tough on me and on DH it also made me have to be honest with him and most importantly with me about what was going on inside and why.
At this point I have to work hard to control what I eat. I'm not going to trade size 8 pants for a 18W just so i can have cake instead of a bad day.
If in your heart you're ready to do this for you. . .do it. If you need more support before hand get it. . .This is not for anyone to decide but you. It has to be the right time for you.
ok off my soapbox!
Kier

hi nancy!

i just wanted to chime in here and say that after my surgery (rny) a few years ago...(isn't it funny, i can't remember the year? jiff, i am having a 'mom' moment) i really did mourn my food. i missed the large quantities of food that i would eat because for me it was so darn fun and enjoyable. i remember watching the food channel ALOT after surgery. it really made me kind of sad that i couldn't eat it all....all at once. it was an unexpected feeling...but the good news is you get used to eating smaller sizes and look at the large portions that they serve in restraunts and think oh my...what a large portion.

but the good news is that with time (wish i new how long!!!) you get used to the smaller portions and healthier eating and it becomes the norm.

all the best to you, nancy. i wish you well.

peach
ps...i heard a mom say to their little one the other day, "no, you've had enough." i had to sit up straight, blink my eyes 'cause the light bulb was so bright...'had enough' what a concept!!!!

and here i sit, wanting to EAT. just EAT. not sure why, except that i didn't get to ride my bike this morning.

thanks for grabbing mom last night, peachie dear. it wasn't pretty. more later. or not, as the case may be.

Thank you for letting me know I'm not the only that battles food so much, so hard and for so long. I keep thinking healthy, healthy! I scour the boards on WLS and there are so many problems. But, someone mentioned today that for everyone that mentions a probelm with food or a problem with their surgery, or a side effect for their surgery; there are hundreds of people who have benefited and never have had a problem. So far everyday on this two protein shakes a day and a low carb, low fat supper I have screwed up. Thank you for reminding me about getting used to small healthy portions again. I realized lately how very small my world has gotten the last few years with so much physical pain and health problems. I'll always have the mobility problems, but it will lessen with less fat! I have a sister that had the RNY maybe eight years ago and since then she has had seven unrelated surgeries and she is really starting to gain her weight back. I see that and really get tense about going through a major WLS surgery and then gaining back. Of course, I don't want to be the way I am now and know that my health will only deteriorate further, mobility will be impossible, and I can't stand the fact that I'd really be putting someone out to take care of my needs. It is bad enough now that I can't do the things that I have always done and my poor DH does so much for me and never bats and eye. This is so trivial, but I don't want to lose my hair! I lost over 100 lbs. one time and I started getting sores in the corner of my mouth and my hair started falling out. Doctor told me it was because I wasn't getting enough fat in my diet!! There I go again, thinking about small things when my health is in danger. I am going to get the WLS, and I am going to do well, and I am going to have a life again!

You want to hear something funny? I loved watching the Food Channel and it just dawned on me that I haven't watched it one time since I had my RNY on June 20th, this year. I am going into my 10th day post op and still find it so unusual not to be hungry and when I do eat my three meals, I know now when I'm full. An all different life style for me, but I'm doing it and I also had my doubts because I've always loved food. Food was our family celebrations, whether it was life, death, marriage, birthday, or just because. So, this is really different but they are all behind me and I also do other things now. I think gardening will be one thing I tackle as soon as I can lift over ten lbs.
Best of luck to you and know that we're all here pulling for each other.

Blessings.

Nanj I have my own set of mobility issues (I have cerebral Palsy) and being almost 70 pounds down is a REVELATION Its better than size 8 skirt
I can get in and out of the car I can walk without having to stop every 5-10 yards I can dance for hours (HOURS) and still walk the next day
I Can get in and out of the tub by myself which I haven't done in YEARS!!!
It's the little things that set you free!

Thank you KO! Thank you Lolow! Thank you Jiffypop! Thank you all! I really appreciate your insights and experiences. Thank you for sharing. I had my visit with the nutritionist, internist, PAT nurse, and respiratory therapy. I asked the doctor if they could possible try and do a the microscopic sugery first, but it can't be done that way. I have to do a pulmonary consult and a adenosine stress Monday for final clearance. I'm not as nervous, just kind of resigned. Have started shopping for protein supplements on-line and that is quite an ordeal. I'm, of course, trying to find a cheapest, and most reputable place to order from. The BarixClinic offers the Syntrax products, but are really much more expensive. If you have dealt with someone on the internet that is a good place to order from let me know. I've always said, "Honey, if I ever lose this gut, we're gonna take ballroom dancing." I think my DH is kind of scared! LOL!
Nancy J.

Hello Ladies...

I am 5 mos post op and feeling great. RNY has been kind to me. I am down 96 lbs and trust me, you don't even think about food and I have to force myself to eat at times. You simply do not ever feel hungry or even think about food. It is truly amazing.

You will be fine.

Hugs

Annie

Annie: I love to hear about the success you are having. I think when I started this thread, it must have been one of my "Best Emmy" award moments. I have had a lot of angst about the surgery; what I will be giving ups. But, am reminded by persons like you everyday that instead of "Can I live without food?" for me it should be "Can I LIVE with food?" State of my physical and mental health, the answer is NO! Thank you ladies again so much for giving me things to think about and positive results of the surgeries. Now I am on the never ending hunt for the very best tasting and cheapest protein powders. Internet is a very interesting place to shop!! LOL!!\
Nancy J.