Prayers to the Saint and God of Weight Loss

  • I am one pound away from my first 25 lbs mini goal so I decided to juice up my religious expression to help me with my weight loss efforts. Introducing: St. Sizita, Patron Saint of Fewer Inches & WeightTaker, the Great God of Lost Pounds. I've written prayers to them below. I'll let you know if they help!!!!

    A Prayer of Supplication to St. Sizita, Patron Saint of Fewer Inches

    Hail Sizita,
    Free of Fat
    Weight loss is with thee
    Blessed art thou among fat women
    And blessed is the size of your butt and hips too
    Holy Sizita,
    Calorie counter of God
    Pray for us dieters
    Now
    And at the hour of our binge
    Amen.


    A Prayer of Supplication to WeighTaker, Great God of Lost Pounds

    Our WeighTaker, who art embodied
    Hallowed be thy scale
    Thy weight loss come
    It will be done
    Each day
    And not just before special events like weddings and reunions
    Guide us each day
    Away from loaves of bread
    And forgive us our gym avoidance
    As we forgive ourselves cookies and candies
    And lead us not into temptation
    But deliver us from donuts
    For thine is good health, full life and lower BMI
    For ever and ever
    Amen.
  • Lol, the second one is gold.
  • Thanks...I so needed that laugh
  • I love it, Soulnik! Congrats on your successful weight loss thus far. Just one lb....you can do it! And I LOVE the rewards you've set up for yourself. Way to go!!!

    ~Star~
  • hahaha I especially love the part
    "Not just before special occassions like weddings and reunions".

    I think we're all just a LIIIITTTLE bit guilty of that.
  • lol...thanks for the pick me up. I think we all need those prayers right now.
  • Too funny, Soulnik. I was at church this morning, Lord's prayer and all. Maybe next week, I'll quietly use your words instead!