I need some advice from those of you who have come back from a significant "self inflicted" injury.

In some of my previous posts I have referred to the fact that I have developed a stress fracture in my femur. (The little part where the thigh locks into the hip) This occurred last March. For the last seven months I have been trying to recover from this injury while seeing a sports doc every four weeks. Each appointment is pretty much the same, he asks me how it's feeling, I say it hurts here but longer there, he does a few manipulations, tells me it takes a while to heal and instructs me to reschedule in another four weeks.

Okay. I am so "over" this now. I want this to be healed and it's not. It is better than it was this fall. But it seems to be two steps forward and one step back. I feel tremendous guilt when I do my cardio on the bike or elliptical because I worry that even if I'm not hurting it more I may be preventing it from healing further. I did have his consent to do this type of cardio by the way. I also noticed little change when I did take ten days off from the gym over the holiday/stomach flu week.

On Thursday I have my follow up appointment again and I am just filled with dread and anxiety over this. I want something more proactive in trying to heal this injury. I just don't know what it should be. I mean really, I don't know that these appointments have any added value for me. I'm still injured, I can't do any weighted exercises without bad consequences. What should I do? What questions should I pose to this person about my recovery? Am I just being unrealistic about my expectations to be fully healed or should I be frustrated at this point.

The thing is I really think that I am at the right place. This group is on staff at the university as assistant professors and docs to the athletes there. I guess I'm just freaking out because I know spring is around the corner and I'm still feeling like I'm not going to be healed enough to play soccer with my three year old and tennis with my eight year old.

I am also struggling with trying to maintain some form of fitness through this time. I still do upper body three time a week. My upper body and abs are looking good. Unfortunately, the bottom no longer matches the top. Add to the fact that I'm pear shaped anyway...

Sorry for the long post and vent. Any advice? Maybe I should just find a new hobby?
Okay, I feel better now. I just needed to get this out and see it on "paper." Damn, it just felt so darn good several days before Christmas. I'm so confused...

I have a self-inflicted rotator cuff injury, so think I know how exactly you feel. Intellectually I *knew* how long the recovery time is from surgery (a year or more), but subconsciously (OK, consciously ) I thought: "hey, I'm in good shape, I work out and eat right - I'll bounce back in half the time. I'll show them, by golly!"

Wrong, wrong, wrong! This has been a very humbling experience because you can do all the right things and still not be able to speed up your body's natural timetable for healing. Some injuries simply take a long time to heal and there isn't a whole lot we can do to change that.

My range of motion and strength are back to about 90% of what they were pre-injury, but I still have to be careful not to fall into that 'lift more' mindset because then I pay the price with a week of pain. It goes against my natural inclinations to back off in the gym but I had to learn to do exactly that. I may never be able to do certain exercises or certain weights again - so what? I'm extremely fortunate that the injury was repairable and I'm back to where I am today.

For your appointment this week, why not ask just what you posted: are you hurting yourself by doing cardio? Is there anything proactive that you can do to speed healing? Should you be seeing more results by this time? What is the timeline for healing this kind of injury? Should you be frustrated??

Aw, Lydia, I totally sympathize with your feelings of wanting this to be over and done with! But certain healing processes just can't be sped up or streamlined. We want to be superwomen but ... we're not.

I'm with Meg....things never go just as you want them. I had a torn miniscus, thought 6 months was plenty for recovery. Well, it has been over a year and a half and I still get nudges of pain every once in a while, and have to be extra careful with the cardio not to push too hard. Hiking is a thing of the past for me....I'm so worried about reinjury....I understand what you are going through. Is there and physical therapy they could recommend to help with the recovery....not sure I saw anything about that in your query. I wish you luck.

Thanks Meg and Susan!

Hmmm both replies came from personal trainers who have injuries themselves. This doesn't look good. Is this like a rite of passage that they don't tell you about in the brochures... (Meg, I hear a nagging voice when lifting that says, don't do that you could end up with a torn rotator next..)

As I wrote my inquiry I could feel myself coming "down" from my rant. It is such a fine line between working harder to gain more strength or leading up to an injury. I'll be fine Thursday when I go in. I'm just frustrated and I think that's to be expected. In the beginning he set the expectation that I would be running again by Thanksgiving. But I need to let that go. He doesn't have a crystal ball and a magic wand. (I've asked) Maybe I'll get him one as a joke once I have an xray that shows it's healed.

During my previous visit he had commented that he was going to give me some "room" to make judgments regarding the intensity/frequency of my workouts. No running and no weight training though. He prefaced this by saying you know, it's been six months...I sense that this guy is trying to transition me out of his care before I am actually healed from this thing. I think that is also one of my fears/concerns. If I am more of a challenge than he has experience with then he needs to let me know. Whew, I think I have a lot to discuss when I actually go in.

Susan: Thanks for your message. A torn miniscus, is it in your knee? Ouch. Knee injuries worry me too. I've had my experience with that as well. Fortunately, they recovered so it wasn't too serious.

Physical Therapy is a good idea. I understand it in theory. I have began and restarted it three different times with the same therapist. Usually after the third or fourth session I have to stop because it causes the site of the injury to be painful again. So, I just think I'm down for a while longer.

Anyway, Thursday may be interesting. Thanks again so much for your help and just letting me vent for a while today.

Lydia, in your first post you said you have absolute faith that you are seeing the right docs and they know what they are doing. In your second post, you question whether you are more of a challenge than your doc has seen before. Not to be too blunt about it, the orthopods who work with the OSU athletes are looking at 18-23 year old bodies that heal faster. You aren't up in my aged league yet, but yer not 18, either! So if you aren't 100% sure of your doc (and even if you are, this has been going on for a while), I'd get a second opinion. You have a couple of great hospitals nearby- I remember reading that Riverside was also rated as a top hospital. There have got to be plenty of good sports medicine or orthopaedic docs at both places.

Just for your own peace of mind, I'd get a copy of your latest MRI's or XRAYs and request and consultation from another doc. Maybe you'll get exactly the same answers...or not.

What about water walking?

I pulled a hamstring 2 years ago that took 8 months to heal....

Mel

Hi Mel.

You know, you might be right about age being a factor in my recovery rate. It never occurred to me. As my sister also pointed out, "in a perfect world, you could just sit on the couch and recover from this." But that is not a realistic option.

You are also right about Riverside Hospital. I attended a runners clinic last spring that was hosted with the McConnell Center which is associated with Riverside Hospital. They will be my next move. After thinking about this during the afternoon I am going to request a second MRI and settle for nothing less than an xray before I leave. The MRI is expensive but at this point I need some more information so that I can stop consuming myself with this thing.

Thanks again for all of your suggestions. I just wondered how everyone else would have addressed this issue if it were occurring to them.