I must have been losing iches...cos i got into size 12 stretch jeans from Asda...I didn't want to come on here and post cos..one of my friends made me feel really down..
The conversation went:
Friend:I really wanna gain weight.
Me:Really wat size do u want to be?
Friend:A size 14 would be nice.
Me:Really?I'm a size 14..
Friend; Really?Oh...
(silence)
Friend:But wen u wear size 14 the're really tight aint they?
Me: No...i bought a pair of cordroy trousers size 14 from H&M and they have quite small sizes.
Friend:Oh...Then i don't want to be a size 14..
Me:Laugh...ok then
Friend:I thought u was a size 16 on the bottom and a 14 on the top..
Me:really..Nope
now wen i look in the mirror this is all i can c and all my hard work seems for nothing...cos ive tried so hard and she knows this...there aint nothing wrong with being a size 16...it's just i feel ive come further than that...maybe i haven't and those 12s were mislabelled(i actually tried on several pairs to be sure)...I don't know maybe its just uncle TOM..
I wouldn't worry - some people are idiots and your 'friend' sounds like one of them. You know how hard you've worked, you know what the reading is on the scales and you know how well your jeans fit.
IMHO this is a classic case of 'With friends like that who needs enemies'!
sounds liek she was a bit consumed with her own size in that conversation, not realising how well you have done, proberly just forgetting you have lost weight. If she does not like her own figure she may be a little bit jealous...... but dont hate her, just support her and ignore her comments. Well done for lossing the weight and fitting into small jeans. You should be so happy, id be dancing around asda in nothing but jeans If i was that size lol.
I've been thinking about this while I'm walking the dogs - (some amateur psychology coming up...!)
There are some people who just can't cope with their friends being successful at losing weight. Its usually one partner not feeling comfortable with the other partner making what is, in effect, a major life change - because it often alters the dynamics of the relationship. ie the wife begins to feel attractive and feels that she can do better than her husband now.
In your friend's case it might not necessarily have been a conscious thing but maybe in the back of her mind maybe she has always seen herself as the slim one in your friendship and now she's feeling a bit threatened by your new figure - so this putdown was her way of dealing with it.
I've been thinking about this all morning (well in the 20 minutes I've been up)
I recently went out with an old friend, we have been friends for a lot of years. Since I've begun losing weight she is literally mean to me. I don't know another way to put this without sounding like I'm 8 years old.
Basically she is being rude, insulting people that I care about, and just treating me like crap.
She is very overweight and doesn't do much about it so I'm wondering if she is "mad" at me because I did?????
You probably make her feel like a complete failure and she is taking her feelings of low self esteem out on you because you're the one who's making her feel like that.
I've lost two or three larger friends who got upset when I turned traitor and lost the lard.
Sarah's right. When I went down 5 dress sizes I noticed that the people who made the positive coments were all of them already slim, or attractive, or confident (or male!) In fact, the woman who said the nicest thing to me - out of all those people you see everyday but don;t know as friends... she is the prettiest of the lot. In other words, she didn't feel threatened! Those who pretended not to notice I'd shrunk were people who needed to lose a little weight themselves, or less than confident in themselves. In other words, you've shrunk before her eyes and added to [I]her[I] insecurities. Don't let her add to your's.
I was in a size 12 when I was 174 so it is likely your jeans are correctly labelled. I agree with everyone else. She's feeling insecure. Just keep on keeping on and be proud of your new jeans! Congratulations. I recently went down a size myself and am loving it.
SWC - how likely is it that you're friend really wants to put weight on? To be honest I think that that was a strange conversation that was said with the intention (either deliberate or subconscious) of having a dig at you and your dieting because as has been said in other posts she is jealous of how you look now. You don't have to be as thin as someone to be nicer or prettier and she probably sees you as competition now whereas she didn't before. I'm sure you look lovely and you should see her comments as an indirect compliment rather than as criticism as I don't believe it would have come up if she hadn't felt threatened by you. And don't worry your size 12's will be 12's - they don' label them wrongly Well done on your weight loss, you've done brilliantly - now enjoy it and love what you see in the mirror
I think her saying that she wants to gain weight and be a size 14 was her way of asking you to say, "OH, you look perfect and I want to get down to your size". When she found out that you are in a 12 - 14 already, it made her jealous. She's afraid you'll be smaller than her, she knows you are are doing great.
My own sister that is at least 30-40 lbs. heavier than me now, has had me take off my jeans to let her try them on. Plus, asks to look at the tags, so she can see what size I wear and if they have any stretch in them. She says, "I don't know why my jeans are bigger sized, I guess I just have more muscle because we look about the same size". Whatever. If it makes her feel better, I don't care.
WTG on the size 12, that sizing is most likely accurate. I could wear a 12 at that weight too. Great job on your weight loss.
I haven't had a chance to get back on the site for this whole weekend...but i'm back and it's monday. Not feeling too good had a little bit of a naughty weekend(snack a jacks and ice cream), I really dont understand why i do it, cos i feel so terrible after, my tummy just hurts !!!But It's monday and i'm here .So here we go again. Thank you guys for your encouragement. I've actually decided i'd like to start calorie counting just need a little info on this..and also i've started excercising monday to friday Tae Bo classes 40 minutes and Saturday swimming for 1hr and sunday rest day can't wait to loose inches!!!Not too bothered about my friend now i know it's all good there...everyone just needs time to adjust..Thank you girlies for the great advice !!!
SWC - never mind her. She obviously knows nothing about size - or friendship for that matter - YOu GOT INTO SIZE 12 - (I meant to capitalise this- it is me shouting this back at you.) Repeat after me - SWC got into size 12. Nothing else matters!!!!! YOu got into size 12. Got it?????
Thanks peacock2 !!!I'm here tucking into some home made rice and vegetables...very yummy...i couldnt calorie count i love slimming world too much!!!lol i'm gonna make this week a good week...so i can get into the 160s
Got into size 12s..but...
!!!But It's monday and i'm here
.So here we go again. Thank you guys for your encouragement. I've actually decided i'd like to start calorie counting just need a little info on this..and also i've started excercising monday to friday Tae Bo classes 40 minutes and Saturday swimming for 1hr and sunday rest day can't wait to loose inches!!!Not too bothered about my friend now i know it's all good there...everyone just needs time to adjust..Thank you girlies for the great advice